When do... - (controversial and vent)

holley79 wrote: people start taking responsibilty for their actions???

ETA: The following had nothing to do with court yesterday. This is something I read in the CJ digest.

I am so sick and tired of hearing criminals use the excuses of, "I didn't have a father in my life" "I was abused as a child" "I was raped" "I was sexually molested". These are not valid excuses to commit crimes. I'm sorry. JMHO here. Sorry this just really ticks me off.

Scenrio: 24 year old male forceably enters the home of a 83 year old lady. She lives alone and was asleep. His motive was not robbery. He woke her, raped her, beat her then killed her. But it's ok because his father sexually abused him when he was 5 and 7. I don't dang well think so. This is NOT an excuse to kill people, hurt people. I could maybe understand if he did something to his father but not a total stranger whom he did not even know the name of. I was so livid reading this. This isn't the first time I have heard these excuses being made.

When does society make people take responsibility for their actions and quit placing the blame on everyone/ everything else.

Sorry about the "spillage".

Calimama replied: I agree. But then I dont know the psychological side of that. Maybe those instances really do have affects on their behavior now? I really dont know, but I know it would upset me if someone would hurt me or my family and get off because they were abused in the past.

luvbug00 replied: I'm sorry but to me that is all crap! I don't care what happend to him in the past , he did the crime now and he needs to do the time NOW!

holley79 replied:
Well I know from experience it does take a toll on your mental state. I guess I could use the excuse that my mother's ex husband sexually abused me from the age of 5 till I was 10 as an excuse to go knock off a bank and kill everyone there.

Calimama replied:
Good point. People get off for EVERYTHING these days. It's pretty sad really.

C&K*s Mommie replied:
*SIGH*

The bigger question is the first that you asked about personal responsibility.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: That's sick. I was molested when I was younger, and you don't see me grabbing a gun and going off on people.

Crystalina replied: Well, I don't know if it's an excuse but I do think that some people are products of certain circumstances. For instance I know of a little boy who is now is 2nd grade. When he was about 4 he was "touched" by a neighbor boy (the boy was about 12). These "touchings" went on for awhile until the little boys brother found out about it and told the his mother. The mother, of course, freaked and the only thing that happend to the older boy was he was not allowed around the younger boy or any other small child. The little boy who was "touched" in the meantime is having all sorts of problems. He inappropriatly touches other children and was also caught by his bus driver trying to kiss another boy on the bus. Now you have to realize that before this happend he was very well adjusted and didn't do these things. He's also been in counseling since the begining of this incident. He's not getting better though. So if he grows up and does something to a child or even an adult then who's to blame? The mother who has tried everything to fix what happend and has never strayed from finding help? Or the boy himself? It's obviouse that this incident is what has caused his behaviour over the past few years. Meanwhile the boy who did this will probably grow up and never think about what he's done to this younger child. Although it's true he has his own problems.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I agree Holley. I can speak from personal experience that it does take a mental toll on someone, HOWEVER, it doesn't give anyone an excuse for not using common sense and judgement. ANY ADULT knows that those things are just wrong, no matter what happend in your life in the past. People just want to put the blame on someone else for their wrong doings.

CantWait replied:
Ditto.

cameragirl21 replied: ok, my outlook is a bit different from everyone else's.
here's how i see it--the guy did not rape, beat, and kill the old lady because he was molested by his father from the ages of 5 to 7. he did it because he's a sick, psychotic a-hole.
of course, that doesn't mean he wants to the pay the price for what he did. so when asked by a judge to explain himself, he wasn't about to say, "well, your honor, i'm a deviant, a psychopath, and an a-hole, please, for the good of society, lock me up and throw away the key."
instead, he's going to come up with an excuse that he hopes will garner some sympathy for him so that he will be free to do this again next time his psychotic impulses kick in.
a deviant is a deviant, they have no concept of taking responsibility for their actions, nor do they wish to do so. there is no reason to give them another chance, you lock them up for the benefit of everyone else.
it's kind of like with the Menendez brothers in California who killed their wealthy parents and then started living the high life...when they got caught, they suddenly remembered years of sexual abuse at the hands of their parents...abuse that they never told a shrink they'd been seeing for many years.
call it repressed memories, i call it a load of crap and a lame excuse for murder....

Boo&BugsMom replied: Jennifer, I don't think you're in the minority here. I agree 100% with what you said. And I can speak from personal experience.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

very well said!

Crystalina replied: I don't understand where being molested would initiate a killing unless it is the person who molested you.

I do see though where being beat or growing up in an angry house would make a person violent enough to grow up and do the same thing which could lead to murder.

Some people are strong enough to learn from what has happend to them and use that to never hurt another person because they know the pain it brought them but at the same time there are people that aren't as strong and go in the opposite direction. I'm not saying what they do is right but in a way it is "justified" (and I use that word very loosely for lack of a better word at the moment.)

Then there are the people that grab an excuse out of the air to instill pity.

holley79 replied:
There are instances of this. There are people who are uncapable of every "healing" from something of this magnitude. I totally understand this but it is far few and in between. The first time I got "help" it didn't work. My mother's ex- husband was never convicted for his crime and that did lead to problems. I didn't "get better" till I was about 12 or 13 years old. Maybe this will be the case with this little boy.

Crystalina replied:

Hopefully over time he will get better. He is my nephew, his mother my sister. Right now he's only getting worse. It's to the point none of us (including my sister) really trust him with younger kids. He was NEVER like this before this happend to him. It happend many times in a house full of people. That is the sad and scarey thing. It' not like he was lured off with this other boy and molested like that. This boy was invited on many ocassions in the house to play video games and he would wait until the other kids had walked off to do other things and he would go after my nephew. It was all purely touching but it has messed him up.

BAC'sMom replied: Just 3 words... get a rope!

mom2my2cuties replied: I believe when you commit a crime that you should be held fully responsible for that crime and recieve the appropriate punishment for that crime. I don't think trying to "pass the buck" or make excuses for your behavior is acceptable.

I do believe that sometimes there are some people who do not understand the full realm of thier crime. Such as the mentally disabled, young children who didn't mean to do something or didn't realize that if they did XYZ what would happen or those who have true psychotic disorders.

However, honestly, Holley it sounds like this man that you are speaking of is trying to claim himself to be a victim of someone elses crime to try to pass the buck in responsiblity for what he has done to another human.

coasterqueen replied:
Very well said Jennifer

gr33n3y3z replied:
nor I

Its an excuse to get out of it or lesson the sentence
And we need better Judges that dont fall for it better yet they need better Jury Duty ppl. thats what happends when its our duty to do the right thing . (Good Luck)

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
ITA!