When is it enough? Birthday party invites

coasterqueen wrote: This year has been UNREAL for birthday invites. Ryan said it seemed that way last year, too, but I just don't recall. Probably a good thing. I don't even remember how many birthday invites we got in January and February, but this month is U N R E A L. I know we have a lot of family birthdays as well, but still.

Kylie and Megan both had birthday parties to go to 2 weekends ago.

Kylie had two birthday parties to go to last weekend PLUS her sister's birthday party.

This coming weekend Kylie has ANOTHER birthday party to go to and we just got the invitation last night.

I know of at least 2 more birthday parties for friends the girls will be getting invites for this month. Who knows how many more besides the ones I know about.

Then we've had two family birthday parties.

We have 3 birthday parties to go to next month that we know of already.




This is costing a fortunate!!!!!!!!!

Not only that, but I'm getting really frustrated how people send out invites 2-4 days in advance making it so you have to rush out to get a present. Am I the ONLY one who plans? I sent out Megan's invites 2 weeks in advance and thought I should have gotten them out sooner.

When do you say enough is enough and stop letting the kids go to so many birthday parties? Seriously. I want to tell Kylie that she can't go to the party this weekend, because she had THREE to go to this past weekend, but it's a really good friend of hers and I hate to say no. The problem is this is time out of my weekends as well. I know that sounds selfish, but last Sunday I left the house at 9 am and didn't get home until 5:30 pm from Megan's birthday party, then turning around and taking Kylie to a swimming birthday party. I feel like all I'm doing is going to parties.

Advice? What are you doing?

MommyToAshley replied: We don't go to every single birthday party... sometimes there are conflicts. We always go to her good friend's parties but we don't always go to school parties. The school has the rule that you have to bring an invitation for every kid in the class if you bring the invites to school, but yet they don't give out any kind of phone or address list. So, she ends up getting invites from kids that aren't really close friends and for those parties we politely decline. But, even then, we still go to A LOT of parties.

coasterqueen replied: Well I'd say no to the ones I believe she's not close with, but she has a different opinion of who she's close with. Ahhh, my little social butterfly.

mom21kid2dogs replied: I have a closet full of games and kid goodies that I get on clearance for just such occasions. Unless it's one of her really close friends, they get something from the closet. She goes to a good number of parties and they always seem to come in waves, too.

Now what I'd REALLY love to get sometime is a thank you note. We've gotten maybe 5 in all the years she goes to parties. It's to the point that she wonders why we are the only people who send out thank yous.

coasterqueen replied:
Wow, no thank you's. We definitely get those back. I do need to get some stuff to have on hand. When I've been going, since I have SO MANY to buy for lately and a very limited budget I've been buying things on clearance. Like last weekend I got 2 new large kid spa kits at Walmart for $18! I thought that was pretty good.

CantWait replied: We only RSVP to those parties in which Anthony is good friends with the person or plays with often either at school or at home.

Otherwise, we'd be doing what you're doing and it's just nuts.

kimberley replied: we don't have the problem. the girls don't get invited to most of the parties.
but as long as it didn't conflict with my schedule, i would let them go and just buy gifts on sale.

MommytoKKC replied: I used to let my daughters go to every party. But we've had to get more selective, because like you it seemed we were always going to a party. It gets expensive, and it does take a lot of time! It's not selfish to say that. You only get two days on a weekend, and when 4 hours of it is taken up by a party which is usually smack in the middle of the day, it can be hard.

Nina J replied: We only really go to the parties of close friends. I know a lot of the time, parents seem to just invite every kid in the class. Emily is at school now and if she gets invited to a birthday and she doesn't actually really know the kids, usually she doesn't go. If there is nothing else on, she goes, but generally we have plans for the weekends.

I prefer as much notice as possible. If someone sends out an invite like, 5 days in advance, it doesn't give much time. But, with the closer friends, we know when there birthdays are and we talk to there parents reguarly, so we are usually aware of any parties or anything before we even get an invite.

coasterqueen replied:
Glad to know my feelings aren't off.


I dunno, though, Kylie is in a class of 20 kids, but she honestly knows and plays with a LOT of those kids. Then she plays with many of them in other classes that she was in past grades with. She is everyone's friend, that's for sure. Like this party we went to last weekend, I didn't really think she knew the boy that well, but when we got there she was playing with him and at least a dozen other ones in her class like she DID know him well.

Don't you all have small classes like that? Is it maybe different being in a very small town community school district where EVERYONE knows EVERYONE?

PrairieMom replied: Ben has only been invited to 2 parties this entire year, and they are the same time on the same day. We are going to the first one we were invited to, even tho he says he likes the second kid better. Oh well. I already RSVP's.
I would say that one a month is plenty. It would just be far to much running and way to much $ for us.

MommyToAshley replied:
Ashely only has about 20 people in her class as well. She "knows" all of them and is friendly with them, but I wouldn't call them all good friends. And then you add all the other kids that she has become good friends with over the years through the different activities like soccer and dance, the kids in the neighborhood (most of them go to a different school), and friends she has has since she was in preschool that go to different schools too, and it really adds up to quite a few birthday parties pretty quickly. So, we have to choose and go to the parties of the friends that she is closest to as we wouldn't have time to do anything else or afford anything else.

mckayleesmom replied: Mckaylee gets invited to lots also and we just don't go to all of them......Not only does she get invited by kids in her class, but she knows alot of the older kids too and they all love her....so she gets invited, but there is just no way.

msoulz replied:
I have a friend that does the same thing. An awesome idea!

It seems so many people invite entire classes to parties. That's just too much for us.

We just say no and I understand Miss Manners would slay me, but I figure if you don't attend the party you don't need to send a gift.

MoonMama replied: Um maybe when Brae hits school age I just wont let him take a bath during the week and know one will invite him to their parties!

I'm kidding of course, but man birthday parties and invites are getting out of hand.

And I just love how certain people in my family find it perfectly ok to call the entire family up and invite us the day before and actually expect us all to drop things and go and get angry when we don't.

luvmykids replied: We don't go to all of them either....I'd spend all my time and money, neither of which are in large supply right now!

I don't have a hard and fast rule, it really just depends on who it is and when. I will say this though, for many years I figured 20 was a fair price range but now unless it's one of their truly close friends, it's down to about 10. If that offends the kid or parents, then they can not invite us next year because it really should be about the fun and the friends....Kylie and Colt both had good friends who weren't going to come to their parties because their families are having a tough time financially. I don't ever want that to stop someone from coming and having fun and figure most other parents probably feel the same.