When is the best time to talk? - need advice

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: What time is the best time for you and your SO to talk? For example, when do you get the best conversation from each other in which you feel like you're connecting and nothing is distracting you? Do you make an effort to talk everyday? Do you designate a certain time? Or does it just happen whenever?

I like to talk when we get into bed , but DH always falls asleep on me and it often hurts my feelings. I understand he's tired, so am I, but that's the only time I feel completely free from distractions. DH likes to talk either throughout the day by calling me from his cell or when he gets off of work, but he says I usually seem annoyed with him when he calls. Which is often true, because my mind is on Wil and it's hard to get focused on the two of us when he calls me in the middle of the day. And when DH gets off of work, I'm typically trying to feed Wil, make dinner, empty the dishwasher, feed the dog, fold laundry, bathe Wil and get the little guy to bed. So our timing is completely OFF and I'm not sure what to do about it! We have dates at least once a month, but it's not enough IMO. We each want to unload our day, but again, our timing is always bad for the other person.

MyLuvBugs replied: I'm like you. In bed is the best time I've found to talk. And we've actually had some of our best conversations right after sex. Go figure. But DH is always so distracted during the day, and when I get him to sit/lay down and relax he's a lot easier to talk to. Sometimes we fall asleep talking, but b/c we're night owls we tend to stay up really late.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: um... when our parents are babysitting.



Nah - seriously - in the mornings. The kids play in their rooms with each other... Naomie is playing in the bed between us... we have an hour to laze around between 6am and 7am, where the kids are pretty good at leaving us alone... lol then we all get out of bed around 7, I get dressed and i go downstairs with the kids while dh gets ready to leave for work... then he comes down and we all have breakfast tgether. We continue talking over breakfast... if it's an ok subject for thre kids to be privy to.

kayla's mama replied: We have our "talk" time before we go to bed or right after we put Kayla down for the night. We have always been night owls and recently we stayed up for 2 hrs just talking about "stuff". Hope you guys can find a common time to talk. I really think that communication is very important in a relationship...up there with sex

AlexsPajamaMama replied: My DH works third shift so during the day he sleeps. He gets up at 4ish in the afternoon and thats when the busy part of our evening starts. Alex wants Daddys attention and after spending the day with a 2 year old Im ready for some adult conversation!! We talk some but from 4-7 its more family time or Alex and Daddy time. Alex goes to bed at 7 7:30, and Greg leaves for work at 9:30pm. So from 7:30-9:30 its our time together.
I soo know where you are coming from when you have to take care of/chase the kid and try to take a few mins to talk to DH too. Its hard. Things will happen during the day and I'll think to myself oh I'll have to tell DH about that but...but by the end of the night when we get a chance to really talk I have completely forget about what I wanted to talk to him about!

lisar replied: Me and my DH talk alot when we go to bed. We also go outside and sit on the porch alot after the kids go to bed so we get alot of talking time in there.

luvmykids replied: My DH has never really been a talker, at the most random moments the "mood" would strike and that carried us for the next few months until the next LOL

redchief replied: For us, bedtime seems to be the best time for us to have heart-to-heart chats. The only trap in that is if it's a heavy topic, those can become very long nights.

ashtonsmama replied: When we're in bed, or if I get up early enough in the morning, he leaves about 7:00, so if I get up I can eat breakfast with him and we can sometimes chat more then...

MyLuvBugs replied:
I hear ya on that one!

C&K*s Mommie replied: to most everyone. Bedtime. Since we co-sleep the girls take that opportunity to get crazy and release the last bit of energy they have while the lights are out, and they know that at any moment it will be bedtime for the last time. But we talk at night, or while we are sitting on the couch watching the kiddos play.

Cece00 replied: Whenever the heck I feel like it

Nah, just kidding. Well, sorta. If I need to talk (or if he does) we do. We'll talk on the phone a couple of times a day, we talk during dinner, when one of us first gets home, sometimes whenever we are about to go to bed...just whenever, really.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I have the exact same problem. Sorry I have no advice. I feel so disconnected from DH at the moment (in that way). He's been working a lot and he is so stressed out.

Sorry, not my post.

mammag replied: In bed here too. With 4 kids its darn near impossible to find time alone other than when they are all asleep.

A&A'smommy replied: talk time.. whats talk time?? I feel like dh and I haven't talked in ages... but anyway it use to be bedtime or when he got home from work