When will the madness stop - I'm so stressed out
My2Beauties wrote: I have been teary eyed all day, I am so stressed I can't think straight, I don't want to do my job, I've been rude to people all day! Ugh...this wedding and everything else I have going on right now is getting to me. I have 2 months before I get married and I'm ready for it to be over with, I feel like I don't have any money left over to pay the things that need to be paid off, meanwhile Brian isn't helping. All he has done this whole time is complain about our wedding, he keeps saying we should have just went to the justice of the peace and then threw a reception...HELLO the reception is what is costing so much freaking money! Our church - FREE, our preacher - FREE (it's Brian's uncle), our tuxes and gowns for bridesmaids (they paid for them) our Flowers $53, ok that is what our actual wedding has cost us, well my dress but I bought that like 8 months ago for $350 from some girl, it's an $800 dress - I got a heck of a deal! Anyways, the reception is what is costing and if you ask me I have done so good about cutting costs, our friend is doing our food for us, so no outside catering just the cost of the food, it's her wedding present to us, my mom's boyfriend is a DJ so he is doing that for free, we paid for our hall already, our photographer only costs $300 which is mighty cheap IMHO, our cake was $1.65 a slice, we have 350 people coming so I couldn't afford that many slices, I had to get one that fed 210 people, his family never eats the cake, there is always tons leftover (at least I hope that will be the same in this case), we have to pay for the liquor and stuff but all in all this wedding will only cost approximately $2500-3000, for 350 people I think that is darn great! But all brian does is complain about the cost, my bridesmaids are driving me crazy, one dropped out and got back in (my maid of honor) then another one dropped out 4 days before our dresses had to be paid for and ordered, so I had to find someone else and pay for her dress out of my own pocket because it wasn't fair to ask her to buy her dress with 4 days notice, I still have like $400 to pay on my cake, $90 to pay on my hall, $150 to pay on my photographer, I still have to get the flower girl dresses and my hoop and my shoes for my dress, we have to give the church a donation, we have to tip our limo drivers, so all this stuff is having to be paid within the next 2 months and we are so broke!  Not to mention my maid of honor had these big plans for this limo for my bacholorette party that she had my mom calling around about months ago because our wedding and bachelor/ette parties are during Prom season and the Kentucky Derby season and the limo prices go sky high and become hard to come by, most places are booked the previous year for Derby alone and she found the perfect limo at a great price, put her own $125 down on it now there is a balance due that my maid of honor was going to pay and she hasn't paid a dime, we have a month and a half to pay for it and I'm afraid we're gonna have to send it back and mom won't ge ther deposit back, I will be furious if that happens! Meanwhile she just got fired from her job, so now what, now none of this stuff will ever get paid off. Another girl threw a fit at me because she was going to throw my bridal shower and got mad because there were more than 15 people invited...um Brian's family is huge he has 8 aunts and uncles on each side and they are all close, I can't help that, she knew about it before she said she would do it then after she thought about it she said she would pay for the hall but no decorations, food, games, or anything else so my friend who is helping me coordinate my wedding had to do all that. I haven't even begun to decide what to get my bridesmaids as gifts or the the groomsmen I have school and graduation to worry about, I have a huge group project and we have to write a 30 page paper on a leader, I have a leadership self-assesment to do myself, I have a final, and I have 2 more tests in my other class and a paper due! Brian hurt my feelings last night because he was all around just being a freaking butthole! I am completely flat broke, I have absolutely no money, my account is in the negative right now and I don't want to tell him because he was complaining last night about how I am always broke....URG! I know we are both just stressed, today he is in a great mood, but I'm not returning it back because of how he acted yesterday!
Then on top of all that we're going on out honeymoon in June and today I almost cried thinking about how much I will miss Hanna and if she'll miss me when I'm gone and if she know me when I get back  I am such a worry wart, but the time we went to Vegas last year (she was 6 months I believe) she acted weird when we came back then when my dad took her for a week with him to Alabama (she was 9 months old) she really acted leary of us when we came down there to pick us up! I don't want that to happen again but it's like I want to go on my honeymoon KWIM!! I'm sorry guys I needed to vent and I'm stressing, Hanna keeps getting sick, my house is a mess, I don't have time to cook or clean, I'm broke, I have no money to speak of right now and a thousand things to pay!
Just need some HUGS right now!!! 
DVFlyer replied: )))))hug((((( 
Alice replied: Here come the HUGS!!!!!!
But Kira woke from her nap while I was reading your post, so I'll give you a real answer later.
One quick comment: it's the Marriage that counts, the wedding is just stuff we do to ourselves to make ourselves crazy. It's so easy to get caught up in it all. So take a deep breath and listen to the words of wisdom from all the people who don't have a crying 2 year old upstairs and can offer some real advice:
COME ON, LADIES AND GENTS, HELP HER!!
gotta go!
Hillbilly Housewife replied: You know....I'm in the SAME boat..... we have like 300 guests too, just family.....and we have an estimate of 17,000$. We've paid about 800$ so far.... and that's NOT counting the dress, the cake, the flowers and the wine.
Trust me baby.... you're doing great!! 
~Roo'sMama~ replied: I remember that feeling all too well! We cut corners everywhere and still spent probably 4 or 5 thousand. (which I know is dirt cheap for a wedding but we were flat broke) It was so tempting to just elope.  Don't let yourself get too stressed out - in 2 months it will all be over and your life can go back to normal! 
mckayleesmom replied: Sorry...I can't really help..Never went through it. Dh and I went to Las Vegas. His mom paid for our plain tickets..the wedding...gambling money...food. Our family that came paid their own way,,,but it wasn't much considering they live about 1 hour from Las Vegas. They just came up for the day. We didn't have a reception...we just went gambling and those who weren't old enough took a cab to the hotel with that big roller coaster on top and rode that. Dh and I took my 2 year old Niece swimming.....What a wierd wedding we had. LOL...But we had alot of fun. By the way...when you are in Las Vegas....Never fall for the free show tickets if you sit in on a meeting....They are about time shares and stuff and they try to sucker you into buying them...They say its only for a couple minutes...but they LIE...LIARS.
My2Beauties replied:
I had a run in with those, I had purcahsed a vacation package from Ramada Resortd and carnival cruise lines, I found out it was basically a scam to get me to buy timeshares after talking to several people and I cancelled my vacation, they only gave me back half of my money though the buttholes!
Kaitlin'smom replied:  Oh sheesh girl I am tired just reading all that, Sounds liek your doing great with wedding cost, i know its stressfull but take a breath it will all work out and be fine, as far as that bridsmaid how dare she accept the position of maid of honor and treat you like crap, I think I would have replaced her long ago, you dont need that added stress.
Sounds like you need a break and to win the lotto, no really I am sure things will come together do you have anyone you can borrow money from until payday or a bit later to help you out?
Oh I think I still have (or my sister does) the crylins and hoop for under dresses....wannna borrow them?
lots of hug
My2Beauties replied:
I was just talking to mom and a girl at her work has one I can use, but if for some reason that falls through or it isn't the right size hoop (I had to have the biggest one the bridal shop carried for my dress) then I will definitely take you up on that, those things cost freaking $60...and it's like what in the world do I do with it once my wedding day is over  Thank you so much! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness, if I need it I will let you know!
mckayleesmom replied: Have you looked on Ebay? Or you can sell the hoop you buy on Ebay
My2Beauties replied: I guess I could, as far as the hoop gies, but now since mom's friend may be able to give it to me then I'll just give it back to her when I'm done with it or if she doesn't want it I could sell it  Thne I'd make some money off of something I didn't even purchase, I would give her the option to take it back and sell it herself first though! If not mom's friend Di said she had one she could send me too! Oh yeah I also have to get a cake topper and some decorations too, I just remembered that it wasn't in my first post! URG!
Kaitlin'smom replied:
Well thankfully mine got great use, I will look for it and put it aside incase you need it.
oh things just keep piling up for you, BUG HUGS
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh honey! Try to relax and take a deep breath. Don't think about all of these things all at once. Just focus on one thing at a time. You will make it thru this.
Alice replied: OK- the kids are in bed.
How much of the stuff you have to do can be delegated? Ask someone to take over the shower/bachelorette party, etc. These are supposed to be things that other people do for you; you should not have to worry about them. Take one good friend aside, tell her what's going on, and ask her to take charge and delegate.
As far as the finances go, can you put any of it on a credit card? Around here, the custom is to give serious money for wedding gifts... a typical gift is in the $200 range. If that's how it works where you are, you can pay off the charges after the wedding.
Concentrate on your schoolwork, being a mommy, and keeping the house clean enough to keep you all in clean underware and keep the Board of Health from knocking on the door. Everything else can wait.
Hope you're feeling better!
CCTandME replied: Holy Cow! That is alot on your plate. I would have lost it long ago. All the more reason for me to never have a wedding. O, wait, nobody wants to marry me!!
JUst breathe in, breathe out. Before you know it, it will all be behind you. God, how time flies by. Have fun and relax
My2Beauties replied: Thanks for all of your support guys! I need to have a serious talk with my maid of honor and let her know if she isn't going to step up then someone else needs to. I just need to sit down and make a budget as well to figure out how to get everything paid off and then I need to let Brian know that I need some "me" time in order to study and work on school, graduation is really close and this last Leadership class is critical! I don't think he realizes how hard it is to manage a full time job, 2 night classes, a baby and a MAN  I know it will work out it always does, it's just getting there that is the hard part! I have always trimphed through hard times and this one won't be an exception...I'll make it, thanks for your support and letting me know that I have your guy's shoulders to cry on and your ears to listen to me! 
gr33n3y3z replied: Well I think you did a GREAT job on the cost of the wedding
I wish it was less stressful on you
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