Who's responsibility? - Kids to see Grandparents

Our Lil' Family wrote: DH and I have differing views on who is responsible for making sure children have relationships with their grandparents. He was raised where his GP's felt that it was his parent's responsibility to bring the kids to see them. I think it's a mutual obligation. Sometimes it's easy for us to go and see our parents but other times it's a lot easier for them to come to us, since it's just the two of them that have to get in the car and go. What do you think?

Keep in mind that this is assuming the relationships between all parties are on good terms.

mummy2girls replied: Mutual... yes us as parents should bring our kids to see them but teh grandparents should have that same responsibility!

My3LilMonkeys replied: In our case, it's mutual. With both sets of GP we generally take the kids to the GP's house as opposed to them coming here - but the GP frequently ask to see the girls and are always excited to have them come.

luvmykids replied: I think it should be mutual....fortunately, three of the four sets of grandparents are very good at doing their part. The ones in Utah come here several times a year, the ones a few hours away take them for weekends every few months, they all call regularly, etc.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Like any relationship, it takes work on both sides.

Calimama replied: I voted mutual. It seems like Antonio's family doesn't make an effort, then they complain when we don't come down for every event. Talk about frustrating.

Nina J replied: I think it's mutual. At least, in my case it is.

CantWait replied: I think it's fairly mutual, however there are times when the grandparents are to old to physically go over and visit. Those times I think it's the parents responsibility to bring the kids over and stay in contact.

stella6979 replied:
I agree. If the Grandparents aren't physically able then I think it's the parents responsibility to take the kids to see them. However, I do think the Grandparents should put forth some effort to be in their lives, such as calling to set up a "playdate" or even just to chat with them for a bit.

DillsMommy replied: Toms parents keep Dill every sat. night and mine watch him everyday while I work (only 3 hours a day) So we don't have to worry much about how he's going to get to see them. But I think it's mutual. Parents and grandparents should both make the effort.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

eta: that when you see that the GP's have not seen their gc's in some time it is wise to step up and make an effort for them to see them. Sometimes in our lives we get busy and lose track of time since we saw someone we love last.

Kaitlin'smom replied: deffinalty mutual.

redplaydoh replied: I think it should be mutal, but in our case we always have to ask DH's parents if they can take the kids even though countless times I've told them to ASK ME if they'd like to have them.

Cece00 replied: It SHOULD be mutual, IMO. That is how it is with us anyway. Well, sort of. My parents make an effort to see my kids, my husband's dad & stepmom make an effort to see our kids. My husband's mother never makes an effort to see them, just makes comments like "Oh, I'll have to come see the kids soon" or asks US to come to HER but never actually makes a real effort, and then whines like a kid about not seeing them. As you can imagine, since she can not make the effort, we are no longer bothered to make the effort, therefore she doesnt really see the kids.

holley79 replied: I think it is very mutual. I do not go out of my way to take my daughter to see DH's biological mother though. I have tried endlessly to try for them to have some kind of relationship and she doesn't want it. Then she turns around and says that I'm hindering their relationship. I just tell her that if she wants a relationship with Annika then she needs to make the effort.

My mom/ dad come by to see Annika all the time and I also take her over to see them. Dh's dad who raised him and his wife love Annika unconditionally and I dont' have a problem taking her out to see them as they always seem to have guests at their house. Dh's biological father/ wife live almost to the AL line and they dont' make the effort. If WE get invited then I take them out to see them but we don't invite ourselves out to their place for visits. If they can drive to Biloxi and Mobile to see their other grandchildren every weekend then they can come see her at our house if they really want to see her.

Sorry that got long winded.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: It's mutual. However, we live very far from any grandparents. And a 4 hour drive from a great grandparent. So, it's harder for us to travel to see them. Plane tickets are expensive and Logan has to have his own ticket now, so that's 3 tickets we have to buy as opposed to 2 tickets for the gp's. But I've always made sure that all the gp's know they are welcome anytime.