Why can't people mind their own business

blue72 wrote: I pick anywhere from 5 - 8 children up from school. Therefore, I pack 9 people in my Bonneville. Of course, I have no way to buckle them up. Well, some parent saw us yesterday and decided to complain to the cops. He pulled me over today and told me I have until Monday to figure something out or I will get 6 seatbelt violations. We live in a small town. I never drive above 20 mph. I wouldn't purposely put any of the childrens in harms ways and the parents of all the children are perfectly aware of the circumstances. Before I began picking the kids up, my daycare provider was packing up to 14 people in her van. Do you think it would do any good to complain to the school about not bussing in more areas of town. I don't know what to do.

Calimama replied: I hope you dont take this the wrong way but I can see where the lady is coming from. Is there anyway you could make 2 trips? Having kids in the car with no seatbelts can be really dangerous. I hope I didnt offend you.

PrairieMom replied: I'm sorry, I have to agree, that packing that many children in a car and no seat belts is a bad bad Idea. I understand that you have good intentions, but what if something beyond your control happened? like what if you got rear ended? There was an accident like that not to long ago around here, where 5 children were in the back of a car at a stop sign, they got rear ended, a 2 year old was ejected from the car and is now a totally paralyzed, and in a coma. As a parent, there is no way I would allow my child to be transported like that.
Sorry, I know its not the answer you were looking for.
Maybe it would help to complain about the busses, but I bet it would take a long time before changes would be made.

amymom replied: I am sorry, but it is her business! What if she were the one who was unfortunate enough to be in an accident with you and a child was seriously hurt. Usually I do not comment on posts that can go controversial, but this is a biggie with me. No kid of mine would be in your car. I do not move the car if someone is not buckled. I think everyone has answered you already and I know that you do not want to hear this, but if I were her I would have talked to you and reported you as well. And yes you should discuss bussing with the school.

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree with the others no way should you be doing that


And I would complain about the busses also

redplaydoh replied: Sorry, but I too have to side with the others. It is not safe at any speed to transport children without the proper restraints. It isn't questioning your driving ability, but others. I would never allow my children to ride unrestrained in a car. I have even told their grandmother a few times that she couldn't take them when she's shown up without a carseat. I even make the kids wear seat belts on the public bus here because as their parent and caregiver my number one responsibility is their safety.

My2Beauties replied: Sorry I have to agree with everyone else, there is no way on this earth my child would be in your car without a seatbelt on...nope!!! I know you're trying to help but this is extremely and I mean extremely dangerous! Kids have no business in anyone's car without a seat belt on. I think you need to tell the parents that 3 in the back seat and unless one of the children is big enough to go in the front seat (pretty much IMHO close to the 100 pound mark), I wouldn't even put a 4th person in there!

lisar replied: I would complain to the school about the buses in the area. Also what about getting a diffrent car? I dont know if thats an option or not. Also I like the idea of taking two trips. Is that possible. You know that cop is gona be watching you on Monday. I hope you get it straight before then. Good Luck.

blue72 replied: I mentioned 2 trips to the cop and he didn't think that was a good idea. I'm not sure why. I don't know that the school will allow me to do that. I think ultimatley I'm going to have to use my daycare providers van. It will be inconvenient but I think we can make it work. I wasn't offended by anyones comments. Seatbelts are a means of protecting a child from harm.

Calimama replied:
I wonder why he didnt think two trips would be a good idea. I hope you find a solution. I'm not sure I could put up with that many kids in one car at a time.

boyohboyohboy replied: I have to agree that seatbelts are number one on my list too. its so important.
I wasnt sure if you are saying you work for a daycare provider and thats why you are picking up so many kids???
doesnt that leave the daycare at risk for liability?

CantWait replied: Barking up the wrong tree here. I've known to yell at people when I notice kids not buckled up.

How scary to think that you and the parents don't mind or see anything wrong with it.

mom2my2cuties replied:
Ditto - And even horrible things happen at low speeds. So not going over 20MPH means really nothing.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Would a second trip mean that either the kids waiting to be picked up, or the kids dropped off will be unsupervised? If so then a second trip would be out of the question. But if in both groups can be supervised while you make the second trip than that may be the best option, until you can start driving the van.

Just curious, why would it be inconveinent?

redchief replied: First, no seatbelt, no seat. It just has to be that way. Good intentions or not, you could be the world's most careful driver, but just happen to meet the world's worst driver coming the other way and your life would be negatively impacted forever. I know you feel strapped, and one option would be to make yourself heard at a school board meeting.

I would be very careful about utilizing a van. I'm not sure what the rules are where you are, but here, if you routinely transport six or more people to school in a single vehicle, unless those persons are your family, you qualify as a bus service and need to have a commercial drivers license. It's a sticky situation and I hope that you find a sensible solution quickly.

sparkys2boys replied:
not to add fire to the fuel here.. but I do have to agree with the others. I hope that you and the other parents can figure out a safer solution.. Good luck!

my2monkeyboys replied: Well, I'm obviously on the 'wrong' side here, but I say that it's no one else's business whether you or your child wears a seat belt. While it is a law, I think it is one that infringes on our rights. To let you all know, me and my child always wear a seat belt. But only bc I think we are safer that way, not bc it's a law. It is not the government's place to make us... that should be up to us. Sometimes I feel that law is in effect only to make easy money for the tickets they get to write. If it were really a safety concern then school buses would have had them all installed decades ago.
With all of that said, bc it is safer for all, then you should do it. I think the other lady could have talked to you about it, rather than reporting you, if she were concerned. Obviously the other parents are not concerned and therefore it's not her right to 'make' you all do it by turning you in. This is yet another aspect of the government sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, trying to make us do what they think is right, IMHO.

Flame on, now. I know it's coming.

Jamison'smama replied: Although I agree that the government should not mandate seatbelt use for adults, I completely disagree when children are concerned. Too many parents wouldn't buckle up a child or use a child seat if it wasn't required so someone has to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

jacobsmama replied:
Ditto, Very well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my2monkeyboys replied: But, really, how many people do you know actually buckle them in just because it's a law? I know of no one that the law effects enough to make them do that if they weren't going to anyway. I also don't think that makes the mother/father a bad person. Heck, growing up I never wore a seatbelt. It wasn't as big of a concern when I was young, I guess. No one wore them, ya know?
I can almost understand a law for the kids, really I can, bc it atleast makes people aware of the dangers. But again, I don't need the government telling me how to raise my child. It is my child.

blue72 replied: My children always wear seatbelts when they can. Unfortunately, there are 4 families involved. All of us work out of town. I changed my work schedule so I could pick the kids up vs having my daycare provider pick them up. She had to pack all the little kids in her van. I actually made the situation safer. I'm very pressed for time. To have to run to her house to change vehicle will only make me later and I would bet the school will complain. Even with the van, we still will not be able to buckle them all in (3 days a week) but more will be in seatbelts. The only other option we have at this point is to have them walk home. Most children do walk home. But the walk is long and cold in the winter. We feel it is safer to transport them the way we are. 5 of the children are 2 grade and below. We'd like to give them a couple more years before they have to walk the 9 blocks in cold weather. Please remember that I live in rural Iowa.

mom2my2cuties replied: Well - I am not really going to say more than has already been said about safety - but my thought on your original question is this and I had to think overnight of a tactful way - Because they care about the children is why they butted in. As adults we have free reign to take our lives into our own hands and if we choose to put ourselves in a situation where we may get killed or seriously injured - So be it. But we have NO right to put our children (or someone else's) in that same position. They are innocent and not able to speak for themselves and are not able to make the concious choice and have all the facts about it at thier age.

mom2my2cuties replied:
I would buckle my kids in either way and I know no one who buckles thier kids in "just because it's the law" that is almost as ridiculous as saying "most don't abuse thier kids just because the law says they can't". I don't know if I would say it makes the mom/dad a bad person, but I do think it makes them a neglectful and in my opinion a bad parent if they don't buckle that child down.

blue72 replied: [Well - I am not really going to say more than has already been said about safety - but my thought on your original question is this and I had to think overnight of a tactful way - Because they care about the children is why they butted in. As adults we have free reign to take our lives into our own hands and if we choose to put ourselves in a situation where we may get killed or seriously injured - So be it. But we have NO right to put our children (or someone else's) in that same position. They are innocent and not able to speak for themselves and are not able to make the concious choice and have all the facts about it at thier age.]

If they care so much about the childs safety why didn't they just approach me an offer to help transporting the children. That is what we really need. Someone to help. I can't tell my daycare provider or the other parents that I won't do it any longer. 4 of the kids are my darecare providers and she provides my transportation to school.

gr33n3y3z replied:
for one its not their job to provide help if your talking about the police
Maybe if enough parents get together maybe you can get a contract of some sort with a bus company to do the transporting of the children.
Its an idea just trying to help lol

PrairieMom replied:
I'm sure the person who reported you (I assume that is who you are talking about) just saw a situation that she felt was dangerous and needed reporting. She probably never thought about WHY you were is the situation in the first place. It probably never occurred to her to ask if she could help. I don't think she was trying to make things harder for you out of malice, she was probably just trying to keep the kids safe.

Would it be possible to let the school know that you are having transportation issues and see if there are any parents out there that can volunteer to help?

C&K*s Mommie replied: Agreed with Tara (PrairieMom) above. And with Lisa's (gr33n3y3z) suggestion about asking for help from the bus company as well.