Work is making me so sad

jacobsmama wrote: So I think you all know from my previous post that DH and I have made the decision that I will be staying home with Jacob. So I talked to my Doc about it (that I work for) and she has finally accpeted it. She did Ask me to stay a little longer than I liked but hey I have been there for 6 years and I can't just leave her KWIM? Anyhow so I will be done by last week of may at VERY latest..

So what is making me sad is that she asked me to not tell anyone that I am quitting?????? WHAT? How can I do that, these ladies are my friends and the 3 nurses I work directly with she doesn't even want me to tell them..I told her I really didnt' want to do that and she said please out of respect for me don't tell anyone..She is saying this so she doesn't have to deal with all the ?? about what are you going to do when she is gone and stuff? Which I get but I really find this unfair to me and rude to do to the ppl I have worked with for 6 years and I wrong and what do I do????

(Talking to my doc didn't help she is insisting on this and If I tell everyone anyway I feel that she will be upset with me and it will ruin my good leaving..KWIM?? We always have a goodbye dinner for those leaving and it is just sad for me )

Kristi

C&K*s Mommie replied: Out of compromise, and respect for her wishes- I would wait until the last 2 weeks or so before the latest date you would be leaving. Then tell them.
Keep in touch with them as well.

holley79 replied: Oh sweetie, I'm sorry it's so hard. I understand on one hand about not telling anyone but I think it's really unfair not to tell anyone also. (Does that make sense? )

I hope that everything works out though.

jacobsmama replied: Thanks it is nice to have support..

I just think if one of the girls did that to me I would be hurt and upset and I just don't want to leav this way.. It is so bittersweet becoming SAHM for me.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Is there a way you can do transcription work for her, on the side?? Still having a professional relationship with your co-workers, but still being a SAHM.

jacobsmama replied:
No unfortunately I can't...I"m still going to be on the payroll for AS NEEDED so I can keep my Liscensing for nursing but working for her involves much more than a PRN person can handle..And an outside office does all our transcription..Thanks so much nicole for helping me through this mess.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I wish I could be of more help, but just know that you are loved up there at your work. And being a SAHM, you will discover so much in the world that you tend to overlook on a normal basis. It is a rewarding job being a SAHP, but I am still saddened that you are leaving a position you love.

jacobsmama replied:
Thanks Nicole..I really do love the position but the enviroment and the hours just aren't working for me and Jacob deserves me right now...thanks again

CAMSMOM1 replied: In some ways, I can understand her position. But at the same time, she is putting you in an uncomfortable situation. After 6 yrs. you want to be able to say your goodbyes, and not have to lie or cover up for her.
I know from what you have said to me, she is a good friend to you. But in many ways, in the past, she has abused your friendship....by asking you to do things that you weren't required to. (you kwim)
When you do leave, in May, she'll have to answer those questions then. So what's the big difference of saying something now, or in a few wks?
And it's not like you are leaving, because you don't get along with a co-worker, or that you are unhappy with your job. You want to be a SAHM, and be with your son. That has no reflection on the people you work with, as if you are leaving with hard feelings.
I think you should talk with her more about this. Be truthful on how this is upsetting you, and discuss why you wish to tell your co-workers the truth on why you are leaving.
I think there can be a compromise between you two, if you can talk with her about this.
You are doing the right thing. You are following your heart, and being a SAHM, which you have always wanted. Dont let anyone still that joy from you.

luvmykids replied: I'm so sorry that this is throwing a wrench in your excitement of becoming a SAHM! Maybe when it gets closer to your last weeks or month you can bring it up to her again?

siblingtooolivia replied: I agree, wait until the last couple of weeks then tell them, but give your MD the courtesy of telling her you are telling them? Make sense?

It must be a tough transition you are going through right now but it will be worth it. I personally could not stay home. I work 4 days a week and 3 in the summer, the 4 is good but the 3 is great, however, for me to stay home full time, I would be a nut and so would my daughter! But when you are working alot, etc it is too hard, I am a tax accountant and having just ended another tax season with 50 hour weeks when I usually work 35, and taking a class one nite a week it was very hard on my daughter and my DH...but at least its only for about a month and a half that it is that bad!!

Good luck and enjoy your new position, I agree, it will be the best one you ever have

amymom replied: I understand her position, but it is very unfair to you. I would return to her and let her know that you want to tell people by (a specific date) maybe May 1st. Then she has some time without having to answer questions and you have time to say your good-byes. Also, won't she need to hire someone to replace you? I always think that an office works better as a team if the team helps to hire the new staff. Maybe suggest that the group could have input into how to continue after you leave.

Physician's will sometimes make bad business decisions. Maybe you could get her to look at the big picture. If she waits to begin to hire someone until after you leave it will take some time and make it harder on everyone. I have managed a few physician's offices and this is why I say they should teach some business courses in med. school.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I don't understand her position at all. I think it's selfish as a matter of fact on her part. She doesn't want to deal with the questions...too bad! She's going to get them anyway when you're gone...plus, I'm sure she will hurt some feelings when they find out you couldn't tell them. It angers me that those in charge feel the need to hide things from their employees that truly only benefit themself. Maybe they don't have to know right away, but a proper going away dinner and two-week notice to all is appropriate IMO. Especially if it means your coworkers will have to makeup the work you won't be doing anymore.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. I know you want to keep a good reportoire (sp?) with your boss and all, so I would probably do what she says and just call all your friends and explain after you're gone. It stinks, but I guess we have to do what we don't like to do sometimes. I don't like to burn bridges if I don't have too.

jacobsmama replied: THANKS EVERYONE....I really appreciate all the feedback. I have decieded that I just can't leave without saying goodbye and having my goodbye dinner. I think that she thinks the quiter I am and the longer My notice is that I will end up staying again..this is her ultimate goal so I just can't do that.

I'm going to wait until 2 weeks before I"m leaving in May and then I'm going to let everyone know because I just can't bring myself to do that to my friends.

Thanks again..