Worried about Kel - :(

loveydad wrote: A freind of Henry's was talking to Hen and he was saying all this crud about Korea having the bomb and basically we were going to get bombed. Henry kept telling him toshut up, Kel was in the room, and Kel was looking scared. Well sure enough, it freaked Kel out. He's convinced that this house is going to be bombed or something awful is going to happen to him. I keep telling him no, daddy's here and he won't let anything happen, and all that but he don't buy it. The only time he sleeps (or falls asleep) is when he lays in my arms. He climbs up into my lap quite a bit when he's awake. He wants to be right by me unless he's occupied with a game or tv. If I leave him alone in the room without telling him where I'm going he gets upset and starts screaming for me.

I'm really starting to worry. I thought he'd be okay after the first or second day but it seems to be the same. At least he will cling to Henry for a while if I need a break. All the other kids are with freinds, they'll be home earlier, but he got stay home and is being spoiled!

*sigh* It's always something with tehse kids.

mummy2girls replied: AWW poor kel! Kids get scared pretty easily. give hime time he will feel better...

iluvmysweetiepies replied: Poor Kel. I think he'll be okay after a while.

Alice replied: I don't think the problem is with Kel, I think it's with the friend who didn't have the sense to realize there was a child in the room!!

I don't blame him for being frightened. When a child hears something about "us", he doesn't assume the speaker is talking about our nation, he assumes it's the people in the room. Once an image like that is planted, it's hard to let go of.

Poor baby- I hope you can find a way to divert him.

loveydad replied:
I think so to. I yelled at the kid, I told him maybe he'd like to come tell Kel it was going to be alright.

I hadn't thought of that the way you put it. It would make total sense for him to think "us" as in this family instead of "us" as this country. I'll talk to him about that. Thanks Alice!!

When he'll talk about it we kind of go in circles like this:

Kelton: But what if they bomb our house...
Daddy: That won't happen Kel. You know, they aren't even able to bomb far away like this Kelly. They're on the other side of the world. That's a LONG way away- (and I showed him on his globe, Yes my child has a globe LOL)
Kelton: but what if they learn? Or what if they come here.
Me: daddy's here Kelton. I wouldn't ever leave you. Daddy's have super powers they don't let their kids get hurt.


*sighs* but he still worries. This has happened before. Some started talking about NUCLEUR WAR to them last year in preschool. NUCLEUR WAR! They were 4-5 years OLD!! Vincent never gets bothered. He never hears any of this stuff lol.

atlantamomof2 replied: Oh, people make me so mad sometimes! Is the "censor" button only present once you've had children or what?!?! (And even then some people don't have one!)

I'm sorry Kel is feeling afraid. I'm sure after a little time goes by he'll realize he's safe and go back to being a normal worry-free child. Keep reassuring him and comforting him-you're doing a great job!

Becky74 replied: I hope he can get over his fears soon, how wrong it was for that other kid to say those things around him gettin him all scared. I hope you can find the words to fix this

Kirstenmumof3 replied: grouphug: Awwww Poor Kel, that's awful! I don't know what to suggest! I would just keep reassuring him that everything will be okay.

loveydad replied: THe worst part is the night mares. I forgot to mention those. He wakes up, he thrashes and he starts screaming and maybe crying until I calm him down. I'm going to give this a few more days and then if it's not gone I'm going to see if i can get him in to a doctor.

Last night i had to hold him really tight to me and just tell him it's alright kiddo.. i'm here.. until he calmed down. he didn't go back to sleep for a while after that. he'd be about to drop off and then suddenly open his eyes really wide . It's heartbreaking.

lovemyboy replied: I'm sure he doesn't need a Dr. they probably wouldn't be able to help him. Just keep doing what you're doing and he should feel better soon.

Des replied:
i agree!
that's pretty scarey stuff for a little kid to have to hear!
shame -
i agree with the rest tho - try reassuring him at all times.
poor little thing!

Alice replied: And for what it's worth, my kids have a globe too!!

Brian is adopted from Korea. We needed to show him where he was born.

It just occured to me: we're always talking about how when it's night here, it's day in Korea. For some reason, Brian just gets such a kick out of that idea. Maybe it's something you could emphasize; how it's soooo far away that the days and nights aren't even the same. Maybe it would drive home the idea of how great the distance is. and make Kel feel safe??

I bet there was some great children's literature written after the Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11. Maybe you could talk to someone in a bookstore and they could suggest something???

mammag replied: This is sooo sad. I remember being little and hearing about nuclear war and being so afraid I couldn't sleep. I didn't understand it really so sometimes I would hear planes outside and think it was an airplane coming to bomb us. It is scary when you don't really understand.

I hope he feels better soon.

loveydad replied:
Alice you are a LIFE SAVER! Man I don't know what I'd do without your suggestions here!

I'll order Kellly some books. I'll have to talk to him about the nighttime thing when I give him a bath or drive with him or something.

Great ideas. Thanks so much.

Glad your kids have a globe! LOL it was hens and was passed down.

loveydad replied:
That's really sad. I wish nobody's kid had to be scared of that.