Would - spouse VS. Best Friend

A&A'smommy wrote: Explain...

I'm just curious because I know how me and my husband are and we would fight about it a LOT.

stella6979 replied: Unless that friend was mean and disrespectful to my Husband than yes, I would remain friends with them. Unfortunately, not everyone gets along, but I certainly wouldn't let anyone (even my DH) dictate who I can be friends with. I actually have a friend that Jeff doesn't really care for, but he knows that she's MY friend and that doesn't mean she has to be his friend too.

Calimama replied: If he just didn't like her personality, I'd still be her friends. He isn't that keen on a couple of my friends but that's okay. They are MY friends.

CantWait replied: I voted yes, but really it's so hard to say because we've been in this situation before...and despised really is the right word to use.

The thing is, my dh is a really good judge of character, and when it came to this friend it took me longer to figure out that she just wasn't worth the rift it brought between me and dh when it came to her.

PrairieMom replied: i had to say no, because IMO that is the "Right" answer, but we have never been in that situation, and hopefully we never will be. I think that we just respect each other to much to put the other one in that situation. Generally, If I am with someone who is doing something that my DH despises, chances are I would despise it too.

boyohboyohboy replied: I have been in this situation before, and honestly, its not worth my marriage.
I had a wonderful friend, but her lifestyle was not something that was good for a marriage, it left distrust in my husbands mind no matter when she was around..

I guess since I married him and had children there is never anyone that I put before that union.

TheOaf66 replied: it would depend on what the spouse despised...if the friend was always getting you in trouble and causing turmoil then there would have to be a big

I think it is situational

stella6979 replied: I'd like to add that if it came down to choosing between my Husband and my friend, I would most definitely choose my Husband. However, I know Jeff, and it would never come to that. If he doesn't like a friend of mine, then he doesn't have to hang out with her and vice versa. We do our own things and have friends we both enjoy hanging out with and friends that we don't. But neither of us would never let something like that interfere with our marriage.

stella6979 replied:
I absolutely agree.

Kaitlin'smom replied: despise probably not, not care for maybe. hopefully its not something I will have to ever deal with.

A&A'smommy replied: Situation is spouse 1 is good judge of character, friend reminds spouse 1 of crazy ex (literally crazy) and spouse 2 that is friends with that person KNOWS there is something wrong with that person but wont let go of the friendship because spouse 2 doesn't really have any REALLY good friends.


btw spouse 1 is really laid back and not really saying anything about the friend just that he/she doesn't like the friend.

austins mom replied: I voted yes, but only if they arent disrespectful to my dh.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Well it would certainly make it difficult - I'm sure I would want to stay best friends with them, but the conflict between them could make it too stressful for me I suppose. It would also depend on if Dh had a really good reason for not liking them - if the relationship with the best friend wasn't healthy for me and Dh was worried about me, then I would probably have to step back and see if maybe I should be finding a new friend.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful best friend (love ya Jen! ) and she and my Dh get along bee-yoo-ti-fully. (of course the fact that my best friend's Dh is also my Dh's best friend makes it nice too. )

Hillbilly Housewife replied: It wouldn't matter. My friends are my friends. Nobody gets along with everyone.. and seriously, if my spouse tried to limit my time with said friend, I would cry manipulation. I have a head on my shoulders, I can make my own choices.. and whatever choices I might make when I'm spending time with said friend, would still be my choices.. if he doesn't like the friend, he's not obligated to spend time with him/her.

MoonMama replied: If my DH didn't like them (for an actual reason not something petty), I probably would probably stop the friendship, because my DH has to come first. However I do have a best girl friend and a best guy friend that I have known since our mom's were all pregnant (birth classes together) and DH has know issue with either.

Boo&BugsMom replied: It would depend on the reasoning and how picky my spouse was about people. Troy is not a picky person and is pretty tolerant of most people, so if I had a friend he absolutely despised, he would probably have good reasoning and therfore wouldn't continue on the friendship.

Jason's Papa replied: I had a female friend before i met my wife that my wife wasn't too thrilled with. She was very attractive, but we had no romantic history w/ each other. But it made my wife uncomfortable if we were to hang out w/ her. Which is understandable. If she had some single, hot guy friend, i'm sure it would have made me a little nervous.

As it stands now, my wife has a friend (married w/ 2 kids) who has been known to cheat on her husband and gets herself into situations not very 'becoming' of a married person, and she's always asking my wife to go out for a 'girl's night'. But i would never dream of trying to tell her what to do. Plus i trust my wife, i have no reason not to.