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Would this upset you?? - Inlaws might get long


lisar wrote: Okay so my inlaws are really rich. And they told my dh the other night that he will get the most inheritance than the other kids.

Here is thier reason why:

Renee: The oldest daughter is VERY succesful and has anything she could ever want.

Nicole: the youngest married a doctor so she wont need any help.

And my dh: The middle child just didnt do as well in life as they wanted him to. (as in me)

HELLO!!! They obviously dont know us. We just dont flaunt it like all the other kids do. So that is thier reason for giving him the most money. I told him I didnt want thier money. I am so sorry that you (my dh) didnt marry a doctor. This is what I told him. His mom doesnt like me anyways but I really dont care. Would it upset you. Cause I am taking it as an insult. Any opinions would be appreciated.

Kaitlin'smom replied: ohmy.gif

I need to think on this one. You say they dont like you much but is it also he is not doing what they wanted (job wise) instead doing what he wants and thats part of it also? wow that could certly be taken wrong.

TheOaf66 replied: well I think that is pretty crappie way to do things on a couple fronts.

Singling you out and saying you didn't do well enough so we have to bail you out is not fair to you

Giving you a different inheritence then the siblings is a slap in the face towards them for not doing it equally

I would recommend that they split everything equally

luvbug00 replied: I'd be livid and tell them to take their money and put it ...user posted image

msoulz replied: I can see their logic and likely good intention behind wanting to give more to those who need more, but the presumption is flawed. I wouldn't be too mad at them, they thought they were doing a good thing. But that would lead to potential issues when they are gone, so suggesting an equal split would mitigate any issues that will arise. Good luck, these things can be so sticky. hug.gif

Calimama replied:
rolling_smile.gif rolling_smile.gif Nadia you always crack me up.


Anyway I would ask that it be split 3 ways equally. But I guess in their own weird little way they are only trying to "look after" their son, so I wouldn't be too upset. You are wonderful woman, it's too bad they can't see that. hug.gif

holley79 replied: I totally understand where you are coming from and I would be upset but you know what, they obviously HAVE to HAVE someone to pick on so they chose you. Don't let it get to you. When you get their money rub it on your fanny.

A&A'smommy replied: it would bother me but I wouldn't let them know that hug.gif

Boo&BugsMom replied: Would it upset me and hurt my feelings for hearing their reasoning? YES

Would it upset me to get more money? NO laugh.gif We're poor. sleep.gif

lovemy2 replied:
dito.gif

But I also like holley79's idea take the money and rub it on your fanny emlaugh.gif

luvmykids replied: My grandparents had similar reasoning when they told their five kids about their will, it hurt a lot of feelings. However, that was never their intention, they just handled it wrong. In their case it had nothing to do with spouses or jobs, just wanting to help those that they thought needed it.

I can see where you're upset but I would take it with a grain of salt. If it was done with good intentions, let them enjoy feeling like they're doing something nice.

stella6979 replied: It would probably upset me, but I'd gladly take their money. biggrin.gif

boyohboyohboy replied: would it hurt my feelings, yes but i would get over it as i spent the money.
it might cause hard feelings between the siblings later on....
its not a nice thing for these parents to do really.

gr33n3y3z replied:
and the both of you enjoy the money but lets not hope for a heck of a long time for their sake
hug.gif hug.gif

Kentuckychick replied: I can understand why you are upset and I can also see where they may think that they are just trying to be kind and not necessarily doing it with a negative intent.
However were he my dh I think I would tell him to absolutely tell them no, it's not necessary and that they should plan on their inheritance being split equally amongst the children. That's the fair way to do it, the way it should be done and they should not be responsible for putting your dh in a bad position in the event that something should happen to them.

I don't know about your dh's family... but I know quite a few families where that absolutely would not fly. And tension is not something you want after a death.

redplaydoh replied: After a comment like that I'd ask them if they were planning on knocking off early because you'd like that inheritance now! Then offer to help them with an early demise... (y'know I'm just kidding right?)

grapfruit replied:
Nothing to add, I just liked Nadia's comment. biggrin.gif

lisar replied:
Thats the thing he did tell them that and told them it wouldnt be fair. But they dont seem to care. I see it as a way to get on my nerves. But I am not letting them know it bothered me. I will happily spend the money.

And they are actually talking about giving us half the inheritance now, so that we can build our house without having to finance it. Which would be nice and thats the only reason I have kept my mouth shut.


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