Would you be offended?

TrulyBlessed wrote: I have 2 daughters ages 5 & 10. My MIL sent them invitations inviting them to a Mother Daughter Banquet. She wrote inside for them to join Nana for fun and food. Would this offend you?

mckayleesmom replied: It would if she didn't invite me too...afterall it's mothers day and you are their mom. Maybe she meant to invite you too and worded it wrong. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Maybe yours is in the mail and theirs arrived first.

moped replied: I wouldn't be offended one single bit! Maybe she thinks it would be nice for you to get a little break? And it is nice for grandparents to see the kids without the parents!

My MIL would do that - they always take the kids places, we aren't invited and don't really want to be sometimes!!!!!

PrairieMom replied: nope. Sounds like a good bonding experience. UNLESS you have a past history of a strain in the relationship between you and your MIL.

Calimama replied: Nope!

BAC'sMom replied: I guess it depends on the MIL. If it was my MIL then yes I would be offended.

luvmykids replied:
Ditto...my kids and the grandparents both get something different out of it when parents aren't around. All the grandparents in our family love it when we do stuff together but make a point of getting them alone, too.

TrulyBlessed replied: Yes, I have a very strained relationship with my MIL. She only lives two miles away and refuses to come to our house. She HATES that I am breastfeeding because she wants to give the baby a bottle and has asked that I only use a bottle when at her house.

I don't have any problem if she wants to spend time alone with my kids. But this hurts my feelings because it is a Mother Daughter banquet and she has invited her two daughters and wants to take my girls. I am hurt because I am not invited and I am offended because the banquet is for mothers and daughters not grandmas and granddaughers (which she has taken our youngest to and I have no problem with). I feel mother's day is for mom and kids, not grandma and kids.

She has always been pushing to be the mom and has even asked hubby to come over with kids but leave me at home EVERY time. If my husband does not live the way she wants him to live she gets furious.

She doesn't want to be grandma, she wants to be mom. Maybe if she wasn't so controlling and pushy, this wouldn't have hurt my feelings.

Calimama replied:
Yeah.. in that case I would offended! She sounds a little.. crazy. No offense!

TrulyBlessed replied: No offense taken. My feelings were just really hurt today. I really envy those that have a close relationship with their MIL's.

my2monkeyboys replied: Honestly, I think if my MIL wanted to exclude me from everything, I probably would not let anyone in my family have anything to do with her. After all, those kids are part of you, too, not just your husband. I not only would be offended, hurt, mad, etc., but I wouldn't allow it either.
But, that's just my opinion. Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck!

TrulyBlessed replied: Thanks. I just needed to vent today. I appreciate all the comments and advice. I am at my wits end and sometimes I don't know if I am handling the situation right. Thankfully, after 12 years my husband is finally seeing his moms true colors and he is getting pretty upset.

This is how sneaky she is....

DH and his dad went to Home Depot. They took Brent (our 9th mth old baby). His dad picked him up and stayed and talked for 10 minutes. When they were pulling out of the driveway, he says "you know your mom will watch him, why don't we just drop him off there?" Totally, putting DH on the spot. So they did and when they came back 2 hours later (with baby) DH told me and I got upset because of how sneaky his mom and dad were. His dad doesn't say anything in front of me, but waits until he has DH alone to corner him. DH has a very hard time telling his parents no.

Background - he has 2 sisters - one is 39 yr old virgin and will not date anyone because there are no men good enough for his mother's approval, the other sister is 36 yrs old and leads a secret life.....

Crystalina replied: Yes, I think it would bother me.
YOU are closer to a daughter then her grandchildren. She should have invited you.

luvmykids replied: I wasn't aware of the problems, in your case yes I would be offended. I'm sorry it's such a rotten relationship

Danalana replied: Before you gave more info, I wouldn't have been offended at all...I would be now, though. It's too bad she's like that! I agree with Stehanie; I wouldn't allow it. If she couldn't see the kids in my presence or couldn't conform to my desire to breastfeed, I just wouldn't be around her at all anymore. I hate even saying that because I know how important grandparents can be for kids, but this sounds like an extreme situation. I'm sorry it's that way.

mckayleesmom replied: I would just send a letter back stating that the kids would not be joining her that day because they have plans with THEIR MOMMY.

youngmomofone replied: It wouldnt offend me but that's because I already expect her to forget about me. WHen dh, dd, and I are at my mil's house it's all about dh and dd...she will make them food and forget about me for an example!

Sorry that your mil didnt invite you