Yet another WWYD, I'm I overreacting post. - about dh.

Crystalina wrote: Ok, I'm not jealous in the least bit. Never have been so I really doubt that is my problem.

So, there's a girl who I was bff's in school. We kept in contact after school and I still see her maybe once or twice a year in passing. I was friends with her when I met DH and lost contact (the first time) shortly after getting married when I was 18. I'm 35 now. DH knows her through me and has met and talked to her several times while we dated and whenever I've run into her over the years. She recently found me on MySpace. She requested both of us as friends. We both accepted her and she's messaged both of us at different times about what we've been up to. She's even had several conversations with him that had nothing to do with me concerning truck driving (she wants info because she's looking for a new career). She's also become friends with some of dh's real life friends who are on his MySpace because they are truck drivers and she just wants to learn all she can on how to get started. She then put a photo up of herself with nothing but a bra on. I commented on the photo and said something like "not sure if you know it but your ta-ta's are hanging out girl." I could care less and I was just trying to be funny. She then messages me and says that she will take it down but she put it up to 'Mess with someone" but she can't tell me who because my dh knows them. First of all, I don't care if she posted a photo of her in her bra but then I start thinking....all of dh's friends on there are married. Anyway, she never takes the picture down (not a problem, it's her space) but my issue now is that she's uploaded MORE pictures like this of her barely wearing anything at all (in one she's just holding a shirt up to cover certain areas) and she's posing in very seductive ways with WAY too much skin showing.

My issue: To me this is getting a bit too "odd" seeing as how dh knows her IRL and she's not so much a friend these days but she is someone I stop and talk to when I see her in this very small town. I don't want to tell him to delete her but she seems to be up to no good since she's obviously taunting one of his married friends. WWYD?

ANyone who has seen my dh's myspace will know that this is not really about jealousy. Every nekkid hoochie on MySpace is his friend and that doesn't bother me but this is kind of rubbing me the wrong way. I haven't talked to him about this and he has not yet seen her recent uploads.

mckayleesmom replied: That is wierd. I would just tell your dh to distance himself a little. If she is after one of his married man friends then this could come back to be his fault for introducing them to her.

You really can't control her booby display or the other guy possibly cheating. He would cheat anyways if that is his character.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I find it sleezy, IMO, to post things like that with her intentions behind it, but you can't control what people put on their "space". I agree...distance yourself and himself from her. If that is how she is, she probably doesn't have much respect for people's marriages. It's just taking the proper precautions. I don't think you are over-reacting, I just think you are being proactive about it. Nothing wrong with that...cheating happens, it's a real issue, and it can happen to anyone...and if you put yourself in those situations intentionally anything can happen.

Crystalina replied: It's not the cheating I'm worried about. I totally trust dh but it's just really weird if we run into her at Wal-Mart and stand there and talk for 20 minutes after dh has seen her in all her hoochiness. Ya know.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Totally. I'd get the heebie geebies too. But I probably wouldn't want myself associated with her, knowing the intentions she has for your dh's friend. If you are associated with her and something happens with your dh's friend, then you are put in the middle of it. As much as I would trust DH, I wouldn't trust her for a second if that is how she is. I wouldn't want to keep someone like that as a friend in my life, personally.

mckayleesmom replied:
Exactly. I know that you trust your husband..I never questioned that. I would just distance myself and tell your husband that he might want to have a chat with his friends because she might get them in trouble with their wives. He can't stop a friend from cheating, but a wife might be ticked and point her anger towards your family because they met through your family..kwim? It would be a shame for your husband to lose a friend over someone that can't take a picture with clothes on.

gr33n3y3z replied: report her pics she will never know :-)

Crystalina replied:
we can't talk to dh's friend because she would not tell me which friend of his it was. She has more then one of his friends on her myspace and she does not know any of them IRL. I don't want him to approach the "wrong" friend.

I had my sister look at the photos and she says it's borderline soft porn. I've made up my mind that we are deleting her. I thought that myself but didn't know if I was overreacting. In two of the new photos she's wearing nothing at all but is positioned where you can't see certain areas. I'm not going to let her continue to "entertain" us the way she is. All of her friends are famous people that she will NEVER meet and there are only me, dh and some of his friends and a few other "real" looking people that she may or more then likely may not know in real life. If she were anyone else but someone we know IRL her pictures would not bother me and I guess it's not even the pictures but rather the fact that she is putting stuff like that up when she's asking married men to be her friends.

mckayleesmom replied: Well the fact that you and dh are among few real friends on her page speaks volumes.

Crystalina replied:
I know.
She also does not use her real name anywhere on the site and she also says she's in Utah. The girl is VERY far from Utah. When I questioned her about the fake name and state when she first requested me she said it was because she didn't want her family (her sister mostly) to find her on MySpace. I'm starting to understand why.

DVFlyer replied: If you're not jealous, then you have to figure out why it bothers YOU.

Next step is to figure out why you are spending time on the actions of this person.

Crystalina replied:
The only reason it bothers "me" is because this is someone that he sees from time to time. It will be kind of hard to chit-chat with her the next time yet not remember the photos of her crawling across her bed nekkid. kwim? I'm not the jealous type at all. I never have been. You can go to his page right now (he's my #1 friend on my page which is linked in my sig) and you can see by his selection of friends that nudity and women are not really something that bothers me with him.

I've decided to not spend time on it anymore. I've deleted her from my page and I'm sure he'll do the same when he gets home. I could easily do it for him but I'm not going to do that.

My2Beauties replied: I'm not a jealous person at all either and my DH cat calls with the best of 'em right in front of me, heck I point 'em out for him BUT that would be a little weird for me. If it were me I'd want her deleted too because the next time you see her, it would be a very weird conversation.

Celestrina replied:
Even if she does, maybe it will help her get the hint. From the sounds of it, her pics are inappropriate for that site.

gr33n3y3z replied: If you have to put yourself out there like that for ppl. to talk to you it does say how much you respect yourself and if trash is it then so be it lol
Since its a friend its like ewwww ummm yeah ok I lost respect for you

holley79 replied: I would just talk to DH. He probably doesn't even notice her new pics and he probably could care less. If she is taunting another married man than that guys wife needs to take it up with her.

Crystalina replied: I deleted her and I had dh look at the photos to see if I was overreacting. I don't want to tell him who or who should not be on his friends list (even though he would listen to what I say) so I let him make his own judgment. He said that yes, the photos were a bit too much and that she's obviously trying to get someone's attention and he wanted no part of it. He also had an unread message from her wanting to know if he would run team with her since he had 17 yrs experience and she was just starting out. Since he owns the truck and has his own authority he can let anyone drive it as long as they are licensed (which she hasn't even done yet). The fact that she would even ask to drive a team with my husband!! For anyone that doesn't know, that means they are both in the truck together all the time and overnight. HELLO! DH won't even run team with another man because he doesn't want someone else in his truck that long. She wasn't that good of a friend where I'm willing to share my husband. I can't believe she would ask him that. The message was unread because he barely even notices when he has a message unless he's expecting one from one of his friends. He isn't too myspace savvy. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. As far as any friends of dh's are concerned...I'm not getting involved.

She has nerve.

My2Beauties replied:
Oh no she didn't!!!! Yeah definitely um...HECK NO on the answer to that question!