You need to know this information

CAMSMOM1 wrote: Hello, this post is stemming from Jennasmamma's post about "sick people."

I know we don't want to think about this, but in our society we have to, for the sake of our children.

I recently went to a website where you can check the registered child offenders in your area. (web site posted below) It will give you information about the men/women that are living in your area, what their crime against children was (mostly child molesters) and it even gives you their home address.

When I checked in my area, there were 10 child molesters living within 5 miles of our house, and there were 3 living in our neighborhood!!! That was a very scary thought. But now I have that information, I saw their picture and know what they look like, what crime they committed, and know where they live.

This is also helpful if you are thinking about moving, you can look into this before you decide where to live.

I know we can't avoid these people, but the more we are aware, the more we can protect ourselves.

Here is the website you can go to for that information: (copy and paste)

www.RegisteredOffendersList.Org

Ann

3_call_me_mama replied: question for you.. do you sleep better at night knowing this information about themm... or does it cause you more worry and restlessness cause they are so near you and you have so much info about them and could infact quite often pas them in a grocery store?

Honestly, I would liek to know. Cause I once went to our states sex ofender site and looked up who was in my area, just out of curiosity. And i didn't find that it made me feel any better to go. It actually made me feel worse. I really didn't want to know where they lived and what they looked like, becasue honestly it disturbs me. I would not let my child loose in a store, or into the home of someone I didn't know without me, so other thatn that i have no real reason to knwo their personal information and what they look like. Instead, now that I do know, when I see one of them in the store it makes me uneasy, and that they are lookign at my children wrong. When in all reality they probably aren't. I agree they have done worng, most have served their time and they very well may be trying to reform their life, pinnign a big old scarlet letter to their chest helps no one. And it just drags teh problem out further IMO. AND something that I learned form a friend who was a states attorney, several of these sex offenders on this site are part of 2 separate groups 1. offenders that committed a very long time ago (liek 30-40 years for some) and have not had a reoccurance but are requored to be on there by law. and the other group (the younger aged ones ) are generally people in their late teens through 30's that date underage people and their parents are unhappy with that and will press charges for lewd and lacivious (SP) conduct, and if the person is found guilty they are listd as a sex offender. Several of them were in MUTUAL relationships that both guy and girl agreed to but parents of teh younger party did not and therefore makes it illegal. (I'm not saying it si or isn't , should or shouldn't be. Just stating how it works) Bottom line.. several of these people are not on there because they are seekign out small children to do sick and twisted things to. Those that are doing that are still not listed and may never be, as Shelley's article pointed out.. it is often a parent that teh child needs to fear most.

C&K*s Mommie replied: For me knowing which JERKS & JERKETTES live in our immediate area, (one of whom I went to school/ and worked with), I do not feel anything for them-- at least the ones that I do not know. They need to keep to themselves, never taking a second glance at my children--and we will be fine. I understand that people are convicted of wrongdoing when they really did none, someone is our family had that happen to them. The girl that accused them of wrongdoing, had done it before to someone else in her family, too. But instead of conviction, they took a plea bargain that brought the possible heavier sentence down to only (4). Now that person is back in our lives, and we could not be happier, or more comfortable with them around our girls.

But Chris has a man that does work for him and other dealerships around town, that is a registered offender. I met him once at Walmart, that is when Chris admitted that he was an offender, and since then I wish that Chris would take the pix of the girls down in his office, so as not to give any incite ideas in him. Another part of me, is very guarded with the girls, since you never know who is watching them.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: As many of you know(from past posts on this topic) this is a HOT issue with me~it angers me that so many of these monsters are in our neighborhoods~out with a slap on the wrist. I regularly check the site in our state and one other one and I feel better knowing what the ones around me look like...we have seen 2 or 3 of them in town. A couple of months ago a young seemingly nice man said Hi pretty little girl to Taylor in the post office(We live in a very small town) and I recognized him as a sexual offender and I told him I knew who he was and NEVER to speak to my daughter again! It felt impowering to face down a threat like that and KNOW that he at least knows I am watching! I also told our local police chief that he had tried to start contact with at least one child...so sorry for the What I was saying is I think knowledge is power and you can NEVER be TOO CAREFUL in this world~especially with our children!!!

jcc64 replied: I think there were some good points brought up here. While it is certainly comforting in some way to know that the information about predators' whereabouts is available to the public, it is also important to keep in mind that the term sexual predator is a broad blanket category. Its relevance to your life as the parent of a small child may not be as vital as it initially seems. For instance, there was a guy who worked at dh's company a few yrs back- he held a very important position in the firm and was responsible for managing millions of dollars of accounts. He was a church going married father of 4, and he also happened to secretly solicit teen age male prostitutes off of the internet. Eventually, he was caught in a sting operation for attempting to arrange an encounter with a 15 yr old "call boy", and is presently serving jail time. Dh and I argued alot about his crime- to me, that 15 yr old is still legally a child, consenting or not, and at 15, was not in a position to know that he was in fact being victimized by this guy's pedophilia. Dh said although this guy was ethically wrong, no purpose was really served by his incarceration, the "victim" had in fact approached him first, and his own family suffered unnecessarily.
So, this guy would be on the Amber Alert list. Is he a threat to my 3 yr old little girl- probably not. While it's good to "know", it's probably not necessary to completely freak out before knowing all the facts about the molester next door.

My2Beauties replied: ONe of these sex offenders actually lives on my street about 5 houses down. I am back and forth on the issue, his wasn't against a child so it really doesn't bother me, he has been out for years and we've never had a problem with him! I Just think in those instances a sex offender shouldn't be listed, when it's the slightly older guy with a younger consenting girl who has some p'd off parents. But I mean I would want to know if the person next to me committed armed robbery or committed burglary or something like that but I dont have that knowledge, what makes them different from sexual predators? They are both a threat to me and my family? That is my only question.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: OK I am sure I am going to upset some people here but the vast majority of "child molesters" are not in "consentual relationships" with a 16-17 year old girl or vice versa and Yes I do feel that many of them are a threat to my child and everyother child out there....a MAN that has sex with a 15 year old BOY is a threat....if you want to have a sexual relationship with a MAN as a MAN that is your business but NOT a CHILD! The "fact" that the child approached him first is niether here nor there it is still SICK and thankfully against the law! States have ages of consent and I do believe that some people get wrongfully accused and there are some ticked off parents out there BUT I also believe that those cases are few and far between in the big sceme of things.

3_call_me_mama replied:
Good point. I honestly I feel more threatened by teh number of burgulers and other criminals out there drug dealers included that we don't know about than the sex offenders I see on a website.

3_call_me_mama replied:
If you had not know he was a sex offender would you still have reacted that way? Would the comment been ok if it came from a person who had never been convicted of an inappropriate sexual act wether it be a child or not. Some sex offenders have nothing to do with children and are still on that sight. a sex offender as Jeanne said is a VERY broad area of people.

CAMSMOM1 replied: Wow, I didn't think this would cause such a debate. But I really liked hearing all the comments either for or against this subject. And I can understand both sides of it. And I think it's good that we are talking about this.
The reason I posted this message was because of a story I heard on the news. I believe it was in Florida. A man that lived next door to a nice family, became friends. This man was a regesterd sex offender...child molester...but this nice family didn't know about it. The man befriended this family, came over for BBQ'S, went on vacations with them. They had no reason to suspect him, and none of the neighbors were aware of his past.
Then one day their 9 yr old daughter was missing. The man next door had kidnapped her, he picked her up from school and of course she trusted him, and he took her to a private location, molested and murdered her. He later confessed to the crime.
I understand that looking at the site is distrubing. It should be. This is a very real reality to us, and even though it may make you a little paranoid, I believe knowledge is far better than ignorance. If this family would've known he was a sex offender, they could've warned their daughter and would have never been friends with him. Most child molesters do not change. I agree there are people on the website that had sex with teenagers and was consensual. But I went on there specifically to find out child molesters.
At the school I work at, a man was lengering around campus. Luckily, there had been parents who knew he was a sex offender and report him. The later found out he had tried to seduce children into his car that day. I was glad there were parents who were up to date with this, and stopped a possible kidnapping.
This is your own personal choice, and I can understand why you may not want to look at this site. But for me, I want to know and be aware of the people I live next too and who I allow to get close to my child. Most of these men/women, look like everday people and can put on a good act. I don't want to be fooled, and suffer the consequences.
Ann

My2Beauties replied: I mean like I said I am on the fence. I DO want to know if there is a true "child molestor" living by me, I mean child molestor as in some man or woman who preys on small/young children and asks them for sexual favors, etc.... I don't want to know about Tom down the street who got with Jane when she was 16 and he was 25 and her parents were mad about it, so they called the law on him and had him arrested and ruined his name forever. Yeah men who date younger teenage girls 16 and 17 years old are more than likely jerks and looking to take advantage of those girls because they aren't mature enough to handle an adult relationship but sometimes these people honestly love each other and end up getting married, if I'm nto mistaken a few mommies on this board have older husbands! But honestly I am more frightened like someone else said by a potential burglar living next to me rather than someone who committed a sex crime, because the reality is they probably didn't do anything to a small child and it was more than likely a one time he said she said type deal and to be honest, and I HATE to say this but a lot of women take advantage of the system when it comes to sex crimes. OK please don't bash me but it's the honest to God's truth. I just want to know why sex offenders are different from murderers, attempted murderes, burglars, etc... Child molestors is one thing - believe me they are the scum of the earth and I'd like to do a few things to each and every person who has ever molested or hurt a child - but a sex crime is a totally different thing when it didn't involve pure non-consenting rape or sodomy! I would also want to know if a convicted rapist was living around me anywhere, but sex offender is such a broad spectrum of things, some of these people are really not bad people, just dated the wrong person at the wrong time! JMHO!!!

CAMSMOM1 replied: hannasmommy, I 100% agree with you on the sex offenders who had sex with a teen and it was consensual. I am not worried about those guys, unless I have a teenager and that would be a little different. Wouldn't want her shacking up with a 40 year old man!
I also agree there should be a website with other offenders, such a robbery,drugs, murders, car theft. That would be helpful and in some ways, just as bad as a child molester and just as good to know about.
On the website I gave, you can find out men who are rapist. It gives there info as well.
Again, I would want to know if a rapist, child molester was living next door to me. And any convicted person in that matter, no matter what there charge. Sure, if they stole a car at 16, that would be different. But if the went to jail for selling crack...I'd like to know.
Maybe I''m a nosey neighbor, but I think I have the right to know if I'm in danger by the person who waves hello to me next door.
Ann

jcc64 replied: I understand what you're trying to say, LeaAnn. And I don't think any of us is really disagreeing with the need to be informed in order to keep our families safe. That story about the 9 yr old little girl in Fla is very very typical of how psychopathic pedophiles operate. They are very methodical- first they infiltrate the life of their victim, gain the trust of the family, and then move in for the kill. It's textbook, that case. Most victims of child sexual abuse know the perpetrator, as do their families. So, while no one is disputing the value of that website, let's not kid ourselves into thinking that it will completely innoculate us against any potential harm. While we're scrutinizing Joe Neighbor on the list, we might also want to take a second look at the cub scout leader who invites the boys on extra overnight camping trips, or the priest who takes an extra interest in an altar boy, or the baseball coach or Uncle Freddie and so on and so on. It's all around us. But the temptation to suspect EVERYONE is dangerous as well- what kind of world do we want to live in where we trust no one and suspect everyone? It's a balancing act, right?
And one more thing about LeaAnn's comments- I have a friend who was a probation officer for sex offenders in our county, and I once asked her about websites like the one we are discussing. And she did in fact say that MANY of the people on them are in the category that LeaAnn described- an older guy with a 16 yr old girl type of thing. Would I be happy if that was my dd? Absolutely not. Do I think he is a sex offender who should be run out of town by an angry mob. No. I think that's what LeaAnn was trying to say. Correct me if I'm wrong.

My2Beauties replied:
Yep you said it. I would just soon they not have a website for anyone out of fear that people would be prisoners in their own homes. Even my own DH has been to jail a few times for assault (gotta love bar fights) Hey we're all young right! I mean what I am trying to say is that to categorize the type of person I was referring to to an honest child molestor who has been caught and convicted and let out for whatever reason is wrong in my opinion. Why are sex offenders made to put their picture, their address and everything on the internet and a person who just got out of jail for armed robbery or attempted murder is not. I mean they tried to kill someone, why wouldn't I want to know that! I mean if you do one category that way why not all of them! It's like racial profiling almost except with crimes!

ETA - again like I said before, I am speaking of the minor sex offender not the child molester and not the rapist - they deserve everything they get!

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
Maybe I should clarify that he IS a child sex offender....the web sites I look at does list their convictions and the age range of their victims....and no I do not blindly trust anyone who makes contact with my daughter thus the reason she is not watched by anybody other than myself and my husband and family. Better safe than sorry!

My3LilMonkeys replied: Well I live in PA which is one of the few states that does not publish addresses of known sex offenders. After reading what everyone else has said I think that I am better off not knowing.

Not knowing gives me a desire to be even more careful about watching those around me. If I knew that Joe up the street was not a registered sex offender I might be a little more lax around him. However just because he is not on their list doesn't mean he might not become a sexual predator or that he just may have never been caught.