Your Parents Poll

cameragirl21 wrote: Ok, just a handful of choices but I think (hope) they cover all the bases. Feel free to comment or not.

grapfruit replied: Ok I picked "one did good, one not so much" - but I have to clarify my answer

When I was growing up my mom was great. She worked a lot, but she was there. My dad tried, but really let my psycho (now) step-mom rule.

NOW, my mom is awful. I can't even stand to talk to her. I feel bad for my brother who hates going home.


So NOW, I'd pick they shouldn't of become parents.

cameragirl21 replied:
I'm so sorry to hear that, Casey.
What do you suppose caused the change in your mom?

luvmykids replied: I picked they did a great job, it technically could have been the same as Casey since I'm referring to my mom and stepdad but I consider him my father so...we had rough patches, and as a teen of course I thought they were AWFUL but in hindsight, they really were (and still are) awesome parents.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I picked one great one not so much

to be fair...I think my dad tried...he was just totally clueless to what we would have needed at any stage of development. I think there was one time when he was actually available to me in a way that i needed him and I was 18 years old. ANd to think of going outside and throwing a ball or playing soccer with me would have never even begun to register as something that he maybe possibly could have thought of doing.

My mom was great when I was a kid. we have had some boundary issues as an adult but we are thinking that is more the alzheimers than anything else. She is still a great mom

grapfruit replied:
Alcohol and drugs, the alcohol is the major

Let me give you a recent example.

She has been all upset b/c I haven't "asked" her to do anything w/the wedding (b/c I don't trust it'll get done). So Wednesday night I was going to one of my bridesmaid's house to finish invitations at 6pm. I called my mom to see if she wanted to help. She said she was sorry, she wanted to but she had to work. No big deal.

Well she calls me later, my friend's microwave said 9:47pm, to ask about how to use the computer I gave my brother (it's a MAC). She sounded drunk (I can tell by now). I asked her how long she'd been off work, she said she got off about 45 mins ago (so 9pm). I'm thinking wow, you sound that drunk in 45 min? She said she stopped and "got a drink" first. Of course she did.

Then yesterday I was talking to my brother about it and he stopped me and said, wait, what time was it. She got off at 6 that night.

Ok, WHY would she lie like that??? Just tell me you don't want to help, but then don't scream and cry to me when I don't ask you to do anything.

lisar replied: My Mom was the greatest mother. My dad was the worst dad ever.

PrairieMom replied: My mother tried really hard, but my father really wasn't ideal. Its kinda hard to talk about, so I will just leave it at that.

lisar replied:
Thats why I put what I put. I know how it feels not to want to talk about it.

booey2 replied: Hard choice, my mom tried her best, dad took off when I was 9 and never really surfaced much, just the occasional visit here and there. So I really couldn't chose the last choice, so chose the one that was closest.

kit_kats_mom replied: My mom was young, single and poor. I think she did the best that she could but she was understandably selfish about some things. I always knew I was loved and that's what is most important to me. Regular dinners, decent clothes and her being around as much as I would have liked were not so great but like I said, I think she did the best she could in her circumstances. I think I turned out pretty well and I have a strong bond with my family.

HuskerMom replied: I'm very lucky to have the parents I have. They gave me a great childhood. In the past 5 years or so my mom has done a few things that I feel are wrong that have disappointed me but I still have a good relationship with both, especially my dad.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: It's a long story, but my parents did the best they could. That's all anyone could ask. Now that I'm a parent, I understand a little better that they are just human afterall. I'm fairly close to my family. Well, we all get along...for the sake of keeping the peace. I've been very forgiving and that process was a hard one, but necessary for me and my sanity. As many times as I've been burned, I've learned to keep my distance. Things are exactly the way I want them.

ETA: I didn't vote b/c I don't know exactly what constitutes "a wonderful job." We were happy as children. We were well taken care of. Both parents were very loving and involved. We were their life and it was obvious. They are still married and have a great relationship to this day. However, did we all "turn out" okay? No. I have 3 older brothers who are drug addicts. I refuse to place blame on my parents b/c I have no idea if they could have done anything to change this. Other than playing "tough love" and not being the enablers (that they still are to this day.) I've never touched a drug and have no dependency issues. No one can figure that one out.

AlexsPajamaMama replied:
My younger brother and I are the same way...he is almost 22 and a major alcoholic, it runs in the family, but we were brought up in the same house hold, and we were taught the same "rules" about drinking and drugs.. and our parents did not drink...and I turned out way differantly than him.
And my Dad is a major enabler. I wont even go there.

I voted they did their best. They both really did the best they knew how. My mom was sick, still is, and my dad worked alot, works even more now.....but we were happy and never went without anything we needed. We had family time and made memories, and like I said I turned out alright!!

grapfruit replied: Ok Jennifer, I blame your thread for bad luck! I respond to this thread and then all heck breaks loose w/my dad! I'm jk of course. I'm not happy about it, but as I said in the other thread. I'm prepared to walk away if that's what it takes.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Both my parents rocked. There were some rules and things that I don't really agree with now as a parent, but they were and still are the best parents ever.

jcc64 replied: My dad was a deeply flawed human being who struggled with inner demons mightily. He came from an abusive family, he himself became an alcoholic, prescription med abuser, was bi-polar, and had a lot of life threatening health problems, including 2 kinds of cancer, heart disease, and hepatitus C. Life with him was by no means a picnic. But he also taught me how to be a compassionate, forgiving, empathetic person with a great responsibility toward others beyond my own immediate family. Now that he's gone, I truly appreciate how much he overcame to give us a better life than he was able to have.
My mom was the rock who held the family together, and we have always been very close. I have no complaints about my childhood. It wasn't easy, but whose was?

My2Beauties replied: Both my parents were great to me. We were extremely poor, I didn't have much growing up at all. Even through their split-up they remained great friends and tight knit with me and I loved that about them. They're probably the best of friends today. My parents both did some things that may not have been the best choices but I've done things like that myself as a parent and looking back they did the best they could.

The only thing I can say was bad about my childhood itself wasn't necessarily anyone's fault because my parents had no clue it would affect me. When I was really young my dad would always go on weekend long fishing trips. He really was fishing, my dad was a one woman man but he does admit he should have been home more. I guess my mom got lonely and she sort of started an emotional relationship with the guy next door. To this day she tells me they never ever slept together and I do believe her hoenstly I do, but it was hard watching my mom openly flirt with him and have him come over and sit and talk on the front porch all the time, she would secretly call him at night and have me watch out for my dad and stuff. My dad clued in on it and finally caught her lying to him and it hurt my dad really really bad. Inevitably, they split up. It hurt me to watch my dad hurt. For a really really Loooong time I couldn't trust guys. I was very dependent on them being around me to have a good time and if the guy I was dating wanted to do something without me I thought he was cheating or lying about something or covering something up. It was pretty bad, to the point where I made myself look really stupid sometimes. I've learned and I've gotten over those issues, a lot of was my DH helping me realize that just because he's going out with the guys one night every once in a while does not mean he's covering something up or sneaking around behind my back it just means he needs guy time and he encouraged me to get back in touch with girlfriends and go have fun with my friends. So now I do just that and I love it, infact now I'd rather go out with the girls instead