am i nuts???? - sorry long vent

kimberley wrote: ok i am sure you are all sick of me complaining about James' teacher but i swear this woman has a mental defect. she phones me at home and writes me notes because Jade scribbled in James' book one day (we erased it, it was pencil but you could sorta tell she did) and reminded me i need to sign his agenda each and every day (i missed one day in a month because i was sick and thought i had signed it).. BUT she doesn't phone me to let me know James has had 2 detentions this week for aggressive behavior. WTH?!?! she doesn't tell me when his school work is not up to par and when i address it she blows it off as nothing. i have already spoken with the principal about getting him in a different class but they wont do it.

friday, james was not well with his asthma. they phoned around 2pm to tell me. i dont have a car in the afternoon so another mom usually brings them home for me. i tried to reach her and when i couldn't, i phoned the school back asking them to send him home in a taxi. she wasn't sure he was that bad and buzzed his teacher. she left her class to come speak to me on the phone to LECTURE me that as a parent of a sick kid i really need to be diligent in keeping his meds available and up to date. i nearly asked her what kinda crack she was on but didn't. i calmly told her that we have his inhaler here (2 in fact) and it is kept in a spot that he can reach and use. she said well James said there was none left. and i told her i have no clue why he would say that.. he knows just where they are all the time. she then barked back "I cannot dismiss everything your son says as a lie" i then freaked out lol. "No, but you can take everything I say as a lie?!?!" we exchanged words and she basically put me on hold and just walked away. witch!!!!!!! no guts to take what she deserves nor the decency to apologize when she is wrong. she even lied. she demanded to know why he didn't get a dose of the inhaler in the morning and i told her that he wasn't wheezing (we dont medicate him unless he shows signs of needing it). she said he was but the secretary even told me he was perfectly fine until lunch!!!!!!!!! you think it coulda been the cold air in his lungs running around at lunch hour?!


i have another meeting with her and the principal on friday to mediate the situation. i don't understand why they won't just switch him to another class. i am supposed to be able to openly rely on this person to communicate with me and trust them to be my child's secondary caregiver. half the times he comes home sick to his tummy from trading treats and NOT eating his lunch and that is HER responsibility. yet she will turn that around and say i sent him that way because i am not feeding him. it takes EVERY ounce of my wilpower not to knock her in the teeth!

booey2 replied: I am so sorry you have to go thru this. I totally can't stand teachers who do this. Hang in there.

gr33n3y3z replied: Do you know what you can do
Leave a inhaler with the school nurse so its always there and let her decide if he needs it.

I would also go to the school board and complain about the way this teacher is .... you already spoken with her and the principal and your getting no help at all.
They should do something bc you took the right steps.

I bet this school year cant get over any faster for you

PrairieMom replied: It is so early in the school year! Why wont' they change teachers? and if they won't accomodate you, can you send him to a different school?

I agree with leaving an inhaler with the nurse just incase. As for him saying his inhlaer is empty, is it possible that he is using the medication more than you know, and it is actually all gone?

Also, another question, is the medication that you only give him if he is wheezing a bronchodilator like albuterol or a steroid like Flovent or something? If it is a steroid he should be taking it everyday even if he isn't wheezing.

Okay. I am officially off my Respiratory Therapy soap box!

kimberley replied: i did end up leaving an inhaler there when i picked him up but i am not really happy about it. he is ONLY supposed to get it twice a day max *if* he needs it. that is what his ped told me. this poor child has been so pumped full of drugs and steroids since he was a year old because of his eczema and allergies he is going to have no liver by the time he is 20yo! i had them put a note that they must phone me before giving him the inhaler but the way things have been going with them, they wont and will double dose him btw it is flovent and i was told not to use it unless he needs it. and they were not empty.. he lied for whatever reason. the teacher likely interrogates him and he just says yes or no randomly because he can't handle that kind of pressure.

changing schools is just not an option. besides this teacher (who has been the root of many problems for me at this school as she was Jacob's teacher last year), it is a good school that is finally offering Jacob all of the resources he needs for his learning disability. i tried contacting the school board after the harrassment at the end of the last school year with this same teacher and got told about 20 times that someone will call me back and they never did. very frustrating!

PrairieMom replied: Does he also use a fast acting medication like Albuterol? If he is having breakthrough symptoms Flovent is not going to help take away his shortness of breath. It is a steroid that is meant to be used daily, not to treat symptoms.
Also, you don’t have to worry about flovent destroying his liver. It is a non-systemic medication, it stays in the lungs.

I don’t want you to feel like I’m attacking or anything. I know your post is about troubles with his teacher. Its my job to educate patients, I guess I forgot to punch out when I left the hospital Monday!

kimberley replied: i dont feel that way at all. just telling you what i have been advised by my ped.
James does not have full blown asthma. it only acts up if his allergies are bad or he is sick. he has a prescribed oral antihistamine he takes too. i was under the impression that the inhaler was to treat shortness of breath. should i go back to the ped and ask for something else? thanks for the info.

PrairieMom replied: Yor Doc was on the right track perscribing Flovent, but we are taught in school that patients should always have a fast acting inhaler to carry with them as well.

There are 3 differnet strengths of Flovent, I would suggest he be on the lowest dose, which is 44. It will tell you on the canister. I would also suggest that you also use it 2 puffs in the morning every day. If his asthma is allergy related then maybe you just have to do it durring allergy season. If he is still having trouble, then I would increase it to 2 puffs at night too. If that still doesn't cut it, then I would go up to the next hight dose. Also, he should rinse his mouth after using it because that med. can give you thrush. I don't know if you are using a spacer with his inhalers either, but it would be a good idea, it helps more of the medication get into the lungs and less into the mouth, so chances of thrush would be less. A spacer is a plastic tube you put on the end of your inhaler.

Okay. That being said, the best medication that we have in an inhaler to relieve shortness of breath and wheezing is Albuterol. This would be a medication that he would keep on him, (and with the school nurse) to use when he is having trouble, not on a scheduled basis.

Here are a couple of links i found for information for you.


Flovent Information
http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/fluticinh_ids.htm

Albuterol Information
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginf...er/a682145.html

I hope this is helpful to you. The good news is that Albuterol is a relatively cheap medication compared to flovent, so maybe this would save you a little $!

coasterqueen replied: I'm so sorry you have to deal with that lady. She sounds like a huge pill! I really hope your upcoming meeting brings some good results.

kimberley replied: thanks for the info. we dont use a spacer. he knows how to inhale since he's used them on and off most of his life. it say 50mcg on the tube. i will get him to rinse after tho. going to ask ped about albuterol. so if his inhaler says 1 puff twice a day max, i can change that to two in the morning??

A&A'smommy replied: OMG that woman hope your meeting goes well and that something good comes from it!!!

mckayleesmom replied: Ok...Since they won't let you switch his teacher..Im going to suggest the following. I would tell the principal that from now on...this teacher is not allowed to contact you without him being present...that means every note that goes home or every phone call needs to be monitored by him or her. SHe sounds very disrespectful to her students parents and I wouldn't stand for it. If she calls your house...hang up and call the principal.

PrairieMom replied: I wouldn't change anything with out talking to your dr. I don't know your son, I only know what is recommended by the pharmacutical company and what is general pratice in my hospital.
It might also help to talk to your pharmacist. A lot of times they know particulars on medications that Dr.s can't possibly know. Theres so many out there, that they just can't know everything! Good luck!

DansMom replied: Oh, Kimberley---that teacher, what a self-righteous moron.

redchief replied: I've had to deal with teachers like that. Sorry you have to, because in my experience those types are always right regardless of what proof you present to the contrary. I think you're doing the right thing as far as requesting mediation goes. Hang in there!

I also agree that you should talk to your doctor. Albuterol might be a good option for your son. It's not steroid based and quite a few kids here are on it in a maintenance dose and it seems to help them; especially those with cold air induced asthma.

Good luck!

kimberley replied: had my meeting this morning... where is the "steam coming out your ears" smiley???? of course, they stuck up for each other and now want me to take James to the ped for a psych referral because it just isn't normal for them that he lied. what?!?! a 7yo who lies... how scandalous!

i brought up all the nit picky crap the teacher was phoning me about and she played innocent saying she was just trying to be helpful. grrrrrr. i questioned why i wasn't called for him getting detention twice this week and was told she'd be on the phone all day if she called parents for every little thing that happened. i swear i felt like i was in the twilight zone! i asked why they aren't feeding him and they had no excuse other than "it's halloween week" and they will now give him detention for not eating. WTH?! sure, give him an eating disorder why don't you!
i am so fed up and angry and tired and don't know where to turn anymore. i made an appt with the ped for next week and CAS is coming the same day so hopefully they can help me somehow.

redchief replied: You're not in the Twilight Zone; you're in elementary school hell! Good lord I'd have had a hard time keeping my fingers on my hands and not wrapping them around both their necks.

PrairieMom replied: How is this allowed to go on? Isn't there some mediation that can be done? Isn't there someone higher up than the principal that you can talk to? you don't sound like you are being unreasonable.
Something isn't right. There has to be someone higher you can go to. what is CAS?

b&bsmom replied: JMO but I would go higher up to the school board or whatever and I would call them everyday until someone talked to me and I got something done. I understand they don't like to switch kids because if you do it for one...however if there is such a conflict it needs to happen. I also understand them sticking up for the teacher although she is wrong but they need to be sticking up for the student as well. I know this is not the same but when my daughter started preschool she would come home and say her teacher didn't like her. The aid was telling me her days were getting better and then I found out when I went for a thanksgiving thing the teacher says I don't know what you want to do but she cries the whole time. I was so angry. I said she will not be coming back. I switched her to the Y and in 2 weeks she was leaving me and saying bye on her own. It was a conflict with a teacher. Being a former daycare teacher I understand both sides. Keep up the fight and don't back down. I would keep bugging people till I got an answer that felt right to me. Just my two cents. Hang in there!

mammag replied: I'm so sorry you are having to deal with her Kimberley! I had to deal with a rotten teacher last year and know how awful it is.

Hope they take care of the situation.

jcc64 replied: Hey Kimberly-
Boy, when it rains, it pours, huh?
There are so many things to be horrified about, but for the time being, you need to get James straightened out. The psych referral b/c of the lie he told the teacher is total b.s- really. And I don't know how things are done in Canada, but here in the States, the schools need your permission to do anything with your kid, and if you don't want him to see the psych, you should say so. The same goes for the meds- I absolutely agree that you really need to leave a rescue inhaler with the nurse. You should fill out a form with EXPLICIT instructions on how it is to be administered- which again, here in the States, is filled out by the prescribing dr and also signed by the parent. The school can do nothing other than what is indicated on that form. I am a little concerned that your ped hasn't explained the difference between a daily maintenance med like Flovent (which will have little effect on an acute attack and is instead intended to keep James' breathing situation under control on a day to day basis) and a rescue inhaler like albuterol, which is ESSENTIAL for all asthmatics to have on hand in case of an acute asthma attack. Albuterol is dirt cheap (for a reason) and can be a life saver, literally. Not so with Flovent or Advair, which are pricey but when used correctly at the proper dosage, should drastically reduce if not eliminate the need for a rescue inhaler (although you should always have one, just in case). Forgive me, but I cannot remember how old James is- but the asthma specialists we see insisted that my ds use a spacer until just this past summer, and he is 13. James may look like he knows how to use an inhaler, but would probably get much more benefit from a spacer until he is old enough to co-ordinate all the steps necessary to properly inhale. Asthma is serious, but there are a million drugs out there, and a million ways to use or misuse them. You have to find the right dr who's willing to stay the course until James' situation stabilizes. Alec was taking meds for years, and yet he still had regular breakthrough symptoms. I finally got a referral to an asthma specialist who completely changed his regimen (a few times) until he was symptom free. The same can and should be true for James.
The teacher/school thing is a whole other issue. Clearly, she's gotten an attitude about you, and I would probably consider going over her head until you get the results you're looking for.
Best of luck, and feel free to pm me about the asthma thing. Unfortunately, half of my family has asthma, but luckily, with a dr in the family, I've had access to LOTS of info on drugs, side effects, latest treatment options, etc. Would be more than happy to share what I know. Also a great thing that we have our very own respitory therapist here at PC, huh?

kimberley replied: thanks Jeanne . i did call the ped after all this and he will give him salbuterol (i think that is what he said.. started with an "s"). we have an appt wed. i guess the reason he hasn't gone into full details about the meds is because James has never needed them on any permanent kind of basis. he is prescribed inhalers if he is sick or allergies are at a peak. i always understood that to mean he doesn't actually have asthma that needs constant treatment and it was just a symptom of a bigger illness . when giving him the inhaler, i count to three and on three, i shoot and he inhales. it looks to me he is getting it all in. we had a spacer years ago when he was a toddler and it got lost in the move since he doesn't use it often. when i looked into it again.. they are like $80 and not covered.

James has had breathing problems maybe 5 times in 4yrs at this school. usually from gym class or cold in winter. sitting out, drinking water or coming home and sleeping usually worked tho i did always send his meds with him. now i wonder if i should be doing more???? he also has an allergist and a dermatologist and they seemed to concur with the pediatrician.

and yes, it is great to have prairie mom's expertise!

canddsmom8 replied: Oh, hon. I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this witch!! Who the heck does she think she is?! Just out of curiosity, have you taken a poll from the other parents about how they feel about this teacher? Cause maybe they feel the same way and you could petition the school board as a group, then they would have to do something. Another thing, maybe try sending him to the school counselor, and then maybe she could intercept between this teacher and what she is doing. I think that she is a very inconsiderate person who is on a power trip. OMG!!!


(((((((hugs))))) to you hon!

amynicole21 replied: OMG, I would be going out of my mind if I had to deal with that woman!! Keep going higher until you get this straightened out. He shouldn't have to deal with this, and neither should you!

MommyToAshley replied: Oh Kimberley, sorry I didn't see this earlier. I can't believe people like that are actually teachers. I am sorry both of you have to deal with that woman. How outrageous! It infuriates me that schools care more about protecting their own butts by taking the side of the teacher rather than getting to the real root of the problem. It's ridiculous that you can't change teachers when there is an obvious conflict that is going to interfere with learning. I do hope you make some waves and go higher up until you get someone that really cares and wants to resolve all this. BIG HUGS to you, this is the last thing you need right now.

A&A'smommy replied: Gosh Kimberely that is some crazy stuff!!! Is there anyway you can change teachers or schools? ugh I hope you get something worked out for you guys soon!!