are you willing to help others?

boyohboyohboy wrote: something holley said in my last post made me think....

if you knew of someone, or really didnt even know them, but could see a situation where someone wasnt able to get food, or their kids were hungry, no clothes, or able to be warm or cool for summer/winter
would you help even though you yourself had so little?

I have just become aware of freecycle.com in my area, and I have met some really nice people, that are always willing to give stuff up to help others. I think its a real nice site..

I wondered though how long before people stop being nice to each other and start hoarding for themselves....

holley79 replied: I have always been very helpful and very giving. I have noticed "hoarding" coming from within though. Can I use this again? Can I sale it instead of giving it away to have a little extra money toward this or that?

I have seen a perfect stranger in the grocery store pick up her regular formula then put it back because of the price and get the cheaper stuff. In that case I picked up the can, asked her if that is her normal formula and she told me yes but she couldn't afford it this week. I told her to buy the less expensive and donate it to a women's clinic up the road and I bought her two cans of the formula she normally uses. I didn't think twice about it. I knew she wouldn't just "take" the formula for me so that is why I told her to donate what she was buying. I got a really special card from her a couple months later and a nice thank you from the Sheriff. I didn't ask for it, I just did it and will continue to do it when I can.

boyohboyohboy replied: we have been giving away the baby stuff we have, clothes and other things small.
I just dont see the point of selling it on craigslist anymore..
so many people need things.

i really do worry about our kids more then anything..i worry about christmas and birthdays. these are going to be hard times.

gr33n3y3z replied: I sure would and I do help others

boyohboyohboy replied: keep in mind I am thinking about when things get really tough, if you are on a tight tight budget barely getting by, would you still offer to help someone else at your own families expense?

PrairieMom replied:
yes.
We have helped, and we will in the future. I believe that If you trust in God he will take care of you. I know God wants us to help each other.

Boo&BugsMom replied: At my own families EXPENSE? No. I'm not going to allow my own family to suffer. However, helping a familiy in need while my family may get a little "less" but is still gettin by, yes. It really depends on the situation. We have been through some really tough times, but not so tough where we couldn't give away things that we didn't need anymore...like baby clothes. I just gave away a bunch of clothes to a girl at church not long ago who needed them. Even though we could have used the money and sold them, my family isn't going hungry because of it...that to me would be the difference. Now, if you are talking about donating money while my family goes hungry...that's different, and no I wouldn't do that. My first duty is to my family, but if we can get by and still give things away, I'm more than happy to help out a person or family in need. If you are also talking about donating items, even while things are bad, I'd still do it. I guess for me, there is a difference between donating money that you need for your famly to survive, and donating time or items you may have that you do not need. I am always more than willing to donate time or items no matter what our financial status is.

I give a lot of things, and donate a lot of my time through our church. I have never been to freecycle. Sometimes I have a hard time trusting people on sites like that, which is why I stick to donating things through our church's ministries and to people I know...or friends of friends, etc. We also have a meals ministry that I help with periodically. We make meals for families that need it.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Amen. I agree.

Boys r us replied: Yes, I love to help anyone I can...if I truly believe they are in need of help. I am careful b/c I also believe that there are a lot of people out there that like to take advantage of us good hearts!

Crystalina replied: B.C. (before children) DH and I "adopted" an old homeless man. He was the poorest person we knew at the time (because we were pretty poor back then). Every day we would drive to the off-ramp he slept on (there were bushes he lived in) and we would bring him drinks and McDonald's or Subway. All we ever got out of him was that his name was Dave. He never said anything to us except his name and 'Thank you.' One day we went out to bring him food and he was gone. We left food for 3 days before realizing he just wasn't there anymore.

As for helping an entire family I have not and that is because it really irks the heck out of me when parents complain about not being able to afford this or that for their kids (i.e. school supplies, Christmas gifts, Halloween costumes), but they can afford a pack of cigs. Everyone has their own vice and that's fine but if it's cigs or a box of crayons for school...ugh!

ZandersMama replied: When I can, things are tough right now, but the old baby stuff, things like that, they are never sold. They are given to people that need them. And alot of it was given to me.

MommyToAshley replied:
It's a great site and I am sure there are people that really appreciate it when they are down and can really use the stuff.

I hate to see abuse though, I'ver heard of people getting the free stuff and then turning around and selling it.

MommyToAshley replied:
It depends, if it meant getting one less luxury item, then sure I am all for helping someone out. And, we do our share of giving to charities although we are not well off ourselves. But, when it comes down to the bare necessities and if it meant the difference between feeding and sheltering my child and someone else's child... I would have to choose my own. Although it would break my heart and I would probably give the other child my last piece of food.

jcc64 replied: The Bible says it in so many ways for me:

"Bear ye one another's burthens and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians: 6.2.

"He who hath this world's goods and seeth his brother to need and shuts up his compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?" John: 1.

"He who shutteth his ears from hearing the cry of the poor, he shall cry and shall not be heard." Proverbs: 21.13.

When it comes to charity, no one got it more than Jesus, imo. It's too bad so many people forget this vital part of his message. To me, it's the glue of true Christianity. I think there's always going to be someone else worse off than me, and I think there's always an opportunity to help somehow. We're all one family, imo.

As far as Freecycle: I think it's an amazing site on so many levels. It keeps perfectly good, usable stuff out of landfills, and it helps people in need. It's a win-win situation all around in my book. I highly doubt anyone is going to get rich reselling the kind of things one typically finds on freecycle, and if they do, so be it. If I'm too lazy to sell it myself, what do I care if someone else does it after it's gone from my hands? I'd rather run the risk of being taken advantage of occasionally than close my heart to those truly in need. If I'm putting it on freecycle, I don't need it anymore, kwim?

kimberley replied: i would and i have. before i had kids i had a couple of friends with babies and dead beat exes and paid for a few birthday parties, and many loads of groceries. i've been a member of freecycle since i first heard of it a few years back. the goodness of the people there renews my faith in people and i happily gift whatever i can.. even tho we don't have alot ourselves.

the way i see it is this... i have a roof over my head, my family is fed and healthy.. if i have something or the means to get something for someone less fortunate... especially a child, i won't hesitate. if it means no extras for a month, so what.. the lesson i am teaching my kids is far greater than lunch at mc donalds or a new pail and shovel, kwim?

luvbug00 replied: i'm part of the freecycle of my area. But i am a horder to the max. I keep things in abundace that i don't need. not becuase i don't want to let others benifit from what i have laying arround but i have this habit of attaching emotions to them. I offered a friend mya's crib and it took me over a month to part with it. Not because i didn't want to give it to my friend but i had to "let go" of it. sounds stuiped.
But on the street I'd help any woman or child but for saftey reasons, not men.

A&A'smommy replied: YES in a heartbeat.. I do have trouble parting with things though like baby clothes and stuff for the same reason as Nadia I have a bad habit of attaching emotions to things. I wish I did more now

redchief replied: Our county veterans organizations still collect and distribute new and gently used clothing and household items. Anytime we clean out our closets, and other places of dead storage, we donate the items there. Should it come down to us in a world of it, but others still worse off, I know that we'd do all we could to help those even worse off than us.

For the record, I think freecycle.com is awesome too.

BAC'sMom replied: Sure all the time! I donate clothes, household items etc. to a local consignment shop here in town at least three times a year. All the proceeds go to local Churches, EMS and our Volunteer Fire Dept.

luvmykids replied: I do and will continue to help others....Because of my faith I honestly can't see things getting so bad that I can't help at all...I know God will always provide and because of that I'll always have something to give

luvmykids replied: And Staci, just a suggestion. I've been shopping based more on whats on sale than a set list...couponmom.com lists the stores in your area and what the specials are, so I can still plan pretty well but instead of making a list and then shopping, I base my list and meals on whats on sale. I got our grocery bill down almost $200 last month just by doing that

Teesa®© replied: We're in a very tight spot due to support payments, with DH's cutbacks at work and the payments being garnisheed, we're only clearing about $1000/mth. But I still do everything I can to help others. It's not really at our expense, though.

I volunteer at our local food bank once a week, sometimes more. I will hold doors open for anybody. I'll go out of my way to open a door for someone if they need it. I help people with their groceries and grab things off the top shelves for seniors or shorter people. I spent 20 minutes in a grocery store helping some poor guy pick out pads for his girlfriend, LOL. I have been known to walk into the middle of a street to stop traffic so a senior or a mother/father with children can cross

When I was a teenager, a girlfriend and I actually physically picked up a senior and carried her across the street. We were walking and saw her - it was winter and there was tons of ice on the sidewalk and road. Had she slipped, she would have gone right down the darn hill and into a pretty busy street at the bottom. We just walked, hooked our arms into hers, picked her up and deposited her on the other sidewalk without even missing a beat. We didn't even say anything to each other that we were going to do it, we just did. I'm sure we scared the living s#%$ out of her, but she was safe and that's all we worried about.

Also, when I was a teen, I worked in a restaurant. I'm not a pasta person and even though we got free meals there, I went to Mr. Sub for my lunch. I always passed a homeless man who looked JUST like a younger version of David Bowie. I always bought two subs and two Cokes and we'd sit and eat. Like Crystalina's homeless guy, he just disappeared one day. It was like 20 years ago, but I still miss him and think of him often

One day while driving around in Toronto, there was a 14 or 15 year old male hooker on the corner. It broke my heart I picked him up and we went to McDonalds. I won't just give money to people like that, but if I have enough, I will take them to McD's or Mr. Sub to ensure they're EATING.

I give our old clothes to Good Will and sometimes to the local women's shelter. It's too far for me to walk to the shelter, so unless DH drives me, it usually goes to Good Will. If we're replacing furniture, I ask at the local fire station if there has been anyone recently who's home has burned and if anyone needs whatever I have. It also will go to the local women's shelter if anyone is moving out at the time. Once, we donated it to DS's school because a family who's children attended had their house burn down so we brought our things there.

A couple years ago, there was a woman who carted around her suitcase with her all the time. I sat down with her one day and talked with her. She had 2 sons, grown and married, who wouldn't help her and a man who'd let her crash on his couch... for a price [I'm sure you know what the price was ]. I went home, wrote out a bunch of phone numbers for places she could call for help - shelters, food, etc. and gave her every quarter I had so that she could call them all. Then spent 4 days wandering around the city looking for her, lol. I finally found her and she cried. Of course, that made ME cry, My children were with me at that time and they both hugged her. She had bruises on her face and that ticked me off. I guess the "price" wasn't enough for that guy I don't see her anymore, so I hope she's safe.

I have an adoption Search and Help site to help people. It's a free site, so it doesn't cost me anything. I've even found a few "lost" people. I also have a puter help site that lists free programs to clean out your puter of virus', worms, trojans and help prevent them in the first place. Also a free site. I fix puters for friends and family for a miminal price.

So everything we've done isn't really at our expense, even though we could really benefit by selling the stuff. I know that when I give stuff away that it's actually going to someone who NEEDS it other than someone who just wants to pay less but can afford more. I have a little circle of friends at my children's school and we often trade stuff back and forth.

boyohboyohboy replied:
thank you so much this is the kind of stuff i need to learn..i did just do this last week, bought what was on sale not what i had planned to cook for the week, and i ended up turning a typical $300 grocery bill into $119!
so i will definately check out that site.