bathing with child of opposite sex - how long, how to end it?

my2monkeyboys wrote: My son loves to take showers with me. He's almost 3 1/2 now though, so I am wondering when I should make it absolute that he never sees me naked. He always has, so he doesn't think anything is odd about it, and yesterday he snuck into the bathroom and got in the shower with me. Now he's never said anything about my body, such as wanting to touch a part of it or anything to show much curiosity about it, but I think that with his age I should be covering up soon. I just wonder how to do it though without it being such a big deal. I don't want to make it taboo so that he wants to see me, kwim?
Any opinions, suggestions??? I'm kind of lost on this one.
Thanks, guys!!

My3LilMonkeys replied: DH used to bathe with Brooke all the time but stopped when she was around a year old. He was uncomfortable with it, not Brooke or I. As for how, he just stopped. At that age it's not as difficult, though. Madison has never bathed with daddy because I've always just bathed the girls together.

DVFlyer replied: My wife takes the baths with the kids mostly, but occasionlly I will. When Chloe was about 1 or 1 1/2, I started to wear a bathing suit. It seemed like she was becoming more aware of "stuff", so the time seemed appropriate.

JP&KJMOM replied: I took baths with JP alot especially when I was pregnant with Karlee just because it was easier than leaning over the tub with the big ole belly. But after she got here I quit and then when she got old enough I put them in together. They are kinda past that now so I do one then the other but never with me anymore.

mckayleesmom replied: Hmm...I would say at 3 or 4 I would stop....Maybe you can just buy them some big boy or girl shampoo and soaps and make bath time all about them and being a big person now....KWIM? Then they will just associate it with being a big boy or girl and not realize that you just don't want them to see your parts anymore...

Ty&HaileesDaddy replied: Cara and I went over this when Tyler was born. We decided that it will stop at 4. Thats all the advice/info I have.

ilovemybaby replied: I once asked Paul to take a shower with Abby but he was so uncomfortable with it. LOL He did it but he wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea. So that's out of the question HAHA

I sometimes shower with Abby when we have limited time before going out somewhere. She is already fascinated with my top half (was way before I started taking showers with her) so it isn't going to do any harm IMO for now. She isn't even interested in the other half as far as I can tell.
But I will definitely stop having showers with her once she is 2. I think once they get to about 2 1/2 they become more aware of everything around them. And they start asking questions.

MamaJAM replied: I would say that until he is uncomfortable....since it hasn't been an issue in your house in the past...there's no reason to suddenly change the rules. When he starts feeling uncomfortable - you'll know. He'll start covering up or asking for privacy. When that happens - you can slowly work in new rules about nudity and privacy.

My3LilMonkeys replied:
I think that is a great guideline! Unless YOU are starting to feel uncomfortable - if so, then maybe now is the time.

1lilpeanut2love replied: Michael and I take turns giving Kaylee a bath each night. We get in the tub with her. He does it one day and I'll do it the next. He wears boxers. Also, I think here soon we will let her get in by herself. It is just easier for us to get in with her!!

Michael would NEVER ever feel comfortable getting in with her in the nude or taking a shower with her in the nude. She is just too curious these days and I don't think it's appropriate for her to see anything.

I read somewhere that once a child turns like 3, it's a good idea to get dressed in private-especially if the child is the opposite sex of you!

MiniMomy replied: I agree w/ Jocelyn!

Brias3 replied: Neither my husband or I ever bathed with the kids at the same time but had we done so, I think around 3 or so is an appropriate age to stop.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I guess 3 seems to be the average answer. That is what I was thinking too. Logan has lately become VERY interested in my body. Someone taught him the work booby and he loves buttons, so you can imagine where his hands are all the time now. I have made it a point lately to get dressed in private where he can't "press my buttons"

my2monkeyboys replied: It seems that neither of us are uncomfortable, I just don't want to make him into a sicko perv when he gets older. You always hear things like, yeah, I cut off their toes and stuck them in their ears bc my mom make me sleep in her bed until I was 12. lol
Really though, he only takes a shower with me about once every 2 weeks, but he sees me naked on a daily basis. I'm just worried about damaging him in some way. I guess I'll just ease into the clothed-only deal slowly so it won't be too big of a deal, I hope!
Thanks for all the great advice! Once again, I knew you'd come through for me!

1lilpeanut2love replied: I read this in the "What to Expect the 1st Year" book: 'Experts agree that up until the preschool years parental nudity won't disturb a child in any way. Beyond the age of three or four, however, the consensus changes. At that point, some believe, it may be less healthy for children to see parents of the opposite sex fully undressed.'

HTH.

my2monkeyboys replied: Thanks!!!

Nina J replied: I have showers with Emily, but I guess it's slightly different because we're both girls. DH has never had a shower with Emily, and won't bathe her unless he absolutly has to (issues with his own past).
I think I would stop at the age of 3, just because that is the age where I can remember small details of random things.

ilovemybaby replied:
I think that is why Paul doesn't want to shower or bath with Abby or even to just bath Abby or change her diaper. He doesn't feel comfortable cleaning her down there. I don't know if it's because of my own past or that he just doesn't feel comfortable.
But I'm guessing it's just him. Because my dad is the same way. He won't put his hand between Abbys leg to put her into her highchair HAHA And that is when she has all her clothes on!

jcc64 replied: Huh, I'm totally out of synch with everyone here. I have bathed with all of my kids (boys and girls) well beyond the age of 3. We have a big jacuzzi tub, and if I happened to be taking a bath and one of the kids asked to join me, I never refused on the grounds of it feeling inappropriate in any way. I don't equate nudity in and of itself with sexuality, and I think when the child begins to crave privacy, the situation resolves itself naturally and w/o any residual shame or awkwardness. I haven't seen my 13 yo ds naked in many years now, but if he happens to walk in the bathroom while I'm getting dressed or taking a bath, I see no reason to freak out about it. And neither does he.

ilovemybaby replied: You are probably right. I think it's a personal thing. I know it is for me. I am too self-conscious. And Paul feels uncomfy because he doesn't feel it's appropriate for him to shower or bath with Abby... probably because of my own past. But it might just be him.