daniel, boy with cancer on the run - news story

boyohboyohboy wrote: Have you read or heard about the 14 yr old boy and his mother who are on the run because the boy has hodgekins lymphoma, and he doesnt want to cont any more chemo, as he went thru one treatment and said he cant take it, and so he and his mother had decided to stop treatment and try to treat it with herbal remedies.
His father to my understanding wants his son to cont. with the chemo, with the chemo his cancer is mostly curable.
the father and the courts had planned a hearing about three days ago, to determine what is best for daniel, and had even appointed him a guardian. So to avoid daniel having to have treatment against his will, or for daniel to be taken from them, the mother is fleeing, they think to mexico.

I wanted to know, if you were this mother, how would you react?

would you leave to save your son from being forced by the government to have a treatment he doesnt want? would you force your son to have the treatment/
is 14 old enough to make this life decisioin?

http://www.oregonlive.com/newsflash/index....rylist=national

boyohboyohboy replied: I havent decided how I really feel about this first...I dont ever think its smart for the goverment to intervene into family matters....this doesnt seem right in this case at all.

I also am not sure how I feel about chemo, being a nurse, I think that putting that poison in your body is not always the best way to approach things..I mean truthfully, cancer isnt always curable, and if you can survive the cancer, you might not survive what the chemo does to you...
I am not sure that spending my last few days on chemo is how I would want to end my life..

I am also not sure if I think 14 is old enough to decide if he wants to cont. cancer treatment..I mean kids cant really comprehend life and death..but again, I dont know for sure how I would respond if I were in their shoes.

I think its so sad that because of government interference, that poor daniel has had to flee away from his father, siblings and friends, relatives to maybe die alone without them because he isnt allowed to make the decision.

I have also heard that there are dr's who say they wouldnt strap daneil down and force him to have chemo is he didnt want it either no matter what the courts decide..

its sad.

cameragirl21 replied: Idk, Hodgkins is nowadays one of the most treatable cancers and on the one hand, it seems kind of silly, for lack of a better term, to refuse treatment for something that hardly anyone dies of anymore.
On the other hand, I can imagine how hard the chemo must be on the boy...I remember going to a meeting for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and having a survivor discuss how the chemo affected her and seriously, how she got through it is beyond my comprehension...I know it's not like that for everyone but for some people, chemo is really hard on them and they'd rather not go through with it.
My inclination would be to find out if there are better treatments abroad, like in Israel, for example, where they are light years ahead of the rest of the world with regard to cancer treatments.
Otherwise, more likely than not, I'd insist he get the chemo...I don't think it'd be easy for any mother to see her child die unnecessarily and conversely I imagine it would be equally hard for any mother to see her child suffer needlessly.
It's a tough call but like I said, given that it's Hodgkins and the chance of full recovery is nearly 100%, I'd probably insist on the treatment. If it were a more difficult to treat cancer, I'd be less inclined to insist, I imagine.
I do, however, believe there are natural, herbal remedies in nature and would probably explore that option before insisting on going on with the chemo.

jcc64 replied: There was just a story in the news yesterday about a mother whose child died from treatable diabetes, insisting that she could pray her daughter out of it (which obviously didn't work). I think if the cancer is deemed treatable or curable, and a minor is involved, the courts can and should intervene. I know chemo is no picnic, but neither is dying. At least the former is temporary.

Kentuckychick replied: There was a story like this several years ago about a boy that was 16 and didn't want treatment anymore... he too wanted to go with herbal drugs and try alternative therapies. Unlike this child however, the parents were both on the side of their son who had a very deadly type of cancer that wasn't responding well to treatments in the first place and I think the poor kid was just tired.

The government intervened in that case too... saying that the boy wasn't old enough to make these decisions for himself and that his parents were being "neglectful". I thought at the time and still do that it was a classic case of the government going too far.

This time though... if you have even one parent who wants the child to have treatments and it is a disease that's highly treatable in a child who's underage... then I can see where they'd have to step in. I don't know what the child has been through or why the mother feels the way she does so I cannot say which parent I would be more inclined to agree with... I just hope that they can work out what's really best for their child... together.

The sad fact is that parents all over this country (and all over the world) have to make horrible decisions regarding their children and treatments for diseases every single day. Sadly there's no "easy" cure for cancer even if it is one of the most treatable types. I know adults who suffered from cancer as children who now have side effects from the chemos that were used to cure the cancer.

Cancer treatment is a double edged sword... I just hope I never have to be in the position of either of these parents.

luvbug00 replied: I say if there is a PROVEN home remedy then go ahead and do what you want. I am not going to give my religous perspective as to respect those on this board. I do however think the government has a right to step in since this is a curable diesase and it's not like there is no cure.. i think this kid needs athority to step in.

boyohboyohboy replied: But is it right to step in and interven when someone truely does have religious beliefs, in a country where we are free to have those beliefs?
so is that like saying you are free to believe what ever you want to, but you arent allowed to practice it?
There are other cases where there have been herbal remedies that have proven effective in this type of cancer, survivors who didnt want chemo either...
so who is to say that the chemo is the right choice?

and honestly, each case is different, they said on cnn that this boy has a large mass in his chest, he wasnt brought in to the hosp. until late in this disease,so the chemo might not work...

does that change your opinions? should he have to spent the rest of his days sick and feeling so horrible, as chemo makes you feel, we arent talking about just being tired or sick to your stomach..we are talking really really sick...
maybe he would like to spent his last days happy, and with friends..

also dying doesnt have to be painful, there are meds that can be given to increase the comfort, I have in my nursing career helped many many people die a peaceful death...

jcc64 replied: To me, the sticking point is that the type of cancer this boy has is treatable. Do your beliefs entitle you to subject your child to certain death when he has an opportunity to be cured? Idk, in my mind, the answer is no. If a person of consenting age wants to refuse treatment on religious grounds, that's different, imo. If you want to pray away until you drop dead, so be it. But when a child is involved, then the gov't has an obligation to protect his interests. No one objects when the state steps in to remove a child who's in an abusive situation. To me, it's on the same continuum. To not provide medical care to a sick child is a form of abuse, imo, and i believe that is probably the legal justification for it. I don't see how potentially saving someone's life can be seen as a case of government "going too far."

My2Beauties replied:
I agree Jeanne. I could never ever ever even begin to comprehend not doing everything I could to give my child a chance to live their life...even if it meant making them sick for a while. I'm sorry but it's a chance you take. I'd feel awful if my child got the treatment felt horrible all the time and still passed on...yes that would haunt me every single day but so would turning the other cheek and not trying my hardest to ensure everything was being done to help cure their disease. WOW...tough case, I feel bad for all involved and I hope that I never ever have to deal with what this family is dealing with.

stella6979 replied: I personally think the judge did the right thing. I don't know, I guess I just think as Parents we should be willing to do and try anything in order to save our child's life. And this kid is only 13 so who knows how much he really understands. I really do feel that his Parents are being neglectful.

MommyToAshley replied:
I am usually on the side of less government intervention, but in this case I have to agree with you .... if it were an adult, then the gov't should mind their own business. But, it's different if a child is involved and the parents are not looking out for the child's best interest. I was watching an interview with the doctor, and he said that the boy has a 90% chance of survival if he gets chemo, and only 5% chance without treatment. I don't see how a mother could walk away from that.

I also heard that he is 13 years old and can not read or write. His cancer was not discovered until this year. So, I don't know if he has some other disability or it was just neglect on the parents part, but the lack of education would most definitely affect his ability to understand the benefits of treatment and make an informed decision.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I totally agree with Jeanne...and you all know I am a super "faith" driven person.

Personally, and this is JMO, but I totally believe in the power of prayer, but I also think God gave us doctors and the medical profession for a reason. I don't put medical treatment in the same category as playing God, so I believe that those who treat our illnesses are a blessing. Also, given the world we live in today...polution, poor dieting, etc...we NEED those medical professionals to survive really. We have put so many poisons on our Earth, it's no wonder why God gave us doctor's and medical advancement. JMO.

If the boy didn't have much of a chance at surviving, then I would respect my child's decision to not want treatment. However, if it's something that was easily curable I would be the parent and make that decision in the best interest of the child, because it is my decision until that child is 18. No matter what though, I would not run away to another country because it just makes things worse.

I guess I just remember being this young. When you are this age you think your life sucks, that nothing gets better, and that you have it "so hard". Teenagers think they have a tough life.....until they get until the real world and realize it was a walk in the park compared to being a grown up. Even though the boy is so beaten down by it now, I'd be willing to bet in 10 years he'd be thanking his parents for getting him treatment if the mom would do it.

luvmykids replied:
ITA with Jennie.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That's interesting. I wonder if the boy has a mental disability and mom sees this as a "way out". Of course I don't want to assume or hop on a rumour mill, especially given the small amount of information, but with the world the way it is it certainly wouldn't surprise me these days if someone did that. I hope it's just a case of mom acting out of impulse and not wanting the chemo because she wanted alternative medicine, which seems to be the case.

I hope mom and son return home soon. How scary for all involved.