help!!! - I am so tired

boyohboyohboy wrote: andrew is getting up every 45 mins to hour all night and nap times too.
I thought at first it was gas related to a food allergy, but we cut him back to just formula and oatmeal and he has been fine with that..so i dont think its a stomach ache.
then i thought maybe teething? he is 9 months old. but no real drooling. he has 6 teeth. so i tried tylenol on a regular basis to see if it helped but no real change. i also tried the orajel. nothing
he kinda sqeals like he hurts right before he wakes, thats what made me think it was pain related..but then he sits right up in his bed and cries until we come get him.
he sometimes takes a bottle to go back to sleep and sometimes doesnt.

i just need some sleep. its been going on like this for a week.

i also had him checked for an ear infection and it was clear..

do you think its teeth????

lovemy2 replied: Could be teeth - could just be a phase - Dylan goes through that - not every 45 mins all nite long but sometimes two or three times before he really settles for the nite - I have come to the realization that he is refluxing again - we are keeping an eye on it and my Ped says if it continues for another two - four weeks he wants to treat it to protect his esophogus...

Can you try to let him "CYO" gently I mean - could he be waking up and now not putting himself back to sleep because he is used to you coming in???

Teesa®© replied: I'm wondering if he's having nightmares? DD used to when she was really young.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied:
Sammy did the exact same thing when he was 9 months old -- that is when I Ferberized him.

A&A'smommy replied: my only thought is he might be having trouble soothing himself back to sleep I'm sorry i hope something good happens soon there is nothing more frustrating than being sleep deprived!!

boyohboyohboy replied: I am sorry to admit. i am a total whimp when it comes to CIO. i have never been able to do it, hence why jake is still up once a night!
andrew sleeps with us right now because i am afraid of jake getting to him at night and hurting him. so i hear him when he starts to whimper.
the orajel seemed to help a bit last night he was only up three times.
i am thinking it is his teeth.
i am going for the teething tabs today.
thanks guys.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: It could be teeth, but it could be developmental as well. Seems that age is when some sleep troubles start again. I would NOT let him CIO. You will just have to ride it out until he gets the hang of things again.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm a CIO mommy. After doing that, it took care of any sleep issue we had with either of the boys, aside from having something medically wrong like an ear infection. If YOU are sleep deprived too, you can't take care of your kids as well as you should be able to.

Good luck hon. I know it's difficult when they go through spouts like that. It also may be a short little phase as well and might pass. Since he's also in your room you will hear every tiny thing, which doesn't always help. The smallest of whines will sound like full blown cries.

Does he sleep IN bed with you? If so, perhaps he is waking up more easily from that because he feels you and your husband move...or perhaps he just wants his crib? Tanner was like that. He just wanted his bed, no rocking or cuddling. He just wanted his crib and wanted to sleep...alone. I craved to cuddle and rock...and he wanted nothing to do with it when it was bedtime at this age.

boyohboyohboy replied:
no andrew doesnt sleep with us. he sleeps in a pak and play in our room. we sold his crib because he seemed to like the pak and play better. when he was only a few weeks old jake climbed into the crib with him. so for safety reasons we keep andrew with us at night and away from jake.

i wish i could do CIO. i have tried before. my problem is it was with jake. and it was before we knew he has other health issues. and i have felt so guilty for those nights i made him cry and cry when something was really wrong and i didnt know.

so its hard for me to do it to andrew even though i know he doesnt have the same issues.
its my own guilt.

also my husband works second shift so it would be me doing it alone and i dont think i am strong enough to do it.

i would need someone to remind me its for the best....know what i mean?

its so hard to listen to those cries.

lovemy2 replied:
I don't think its a matter of out and out letting him cry it out but maybe more gently helping him learn to go back to sleep on his own - I am not sure how it would work though if he is in your room - that could be part of the problem. Is there anyway you can get a sleep tent or something to put over the pack and play so Jake can't get in? Tough situation - it could be a combination of teeth, where he is sleeping and a phase - try to start weeding things out and see if any of it helps...I was never a let them wail it out cry it outer but I did help them learn how to fall asleep, stay asleep and put themselves back to sleep and they are wonderfully well rested kids because of it and so am I

boyohboyohboy replied:
I really do agree that sometimes i am not myself because of the lack of sleep i do get. and the kids could be happier if they slept better...
our room is really large, he sleeps on one side and i sleep on the other..we have a fan near him so that keeps him from hearing noises..

i really do think its his teeth. the more orajel i use the better he is sleeping..
the teething tabs dont seem to be working on him. i think i am using them enough...
its hard to tell without real directions on how to use them.

i have never figured out how to help the child learn to fall asleep, we have always put them in bed read to them and did the baths...but when it came time to leave the room my kids are such strong willed kids that they would cry so hard they made themselves throw up..then you have this mess and a messy sweaty kid and it seems easier to just rock them to sleep.
caleb learned to sleep on his own at 4yrs. and would go to his own room.
jake is just starting but gets up about once a night..he is 2 1/2
andrew is 9 months old and he shows more signs then i ever noticed with the other two of getting tired. he yawns and rubs his eyes and we take him in and rock him and he goes right to sleep. if you lay him down though before he is ready he gets made and then wont go to sleep forever. it almost revives him to get mad.

honestly sometimes i think there should be a service you call and have them come in and teach your kids to go to sleep..
i need jen (moped) to come and do it!

i keep telling myself its my last baby to enjoy while i can

MommyToAshley replied: Don't feel bad, I could never CIO either. I could never figure out if something was really bothering her or if she just wanted to be cuddled. Either way, I couldn't just let her cry. I know CIO works for some, but then I also hear horror stories about it as well. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, it's not going to work anyways so don't beat yourself up about it. You have to do what is best for you and your family.

It does sound like it might be teeth. Have you tried Motrin?

It might be difficult now, but hang in there. There is sleep in your future.

MommyToAshley replied: I forgot to ask...what kind of nap schedule is he on? That can really affect his sleeping at night too.

boyohboyohboy replied:
he usually sleeps about 2 hours in the morning. he wakes at 6am and goes for a nap from 830-10 or so. then again at 1230-2p and then to bed at 6p
but he isnt sleeping more then one hour at any time he is going down

i am doing tylenol and the teething tabs now..but its not really making a difference.
he seems to want to sleep but it seems like pain is waking him
he is chewing and biting..

and his appetite is down.
but no drool really.

MommyToAshley replied:
Our ped told us the Motrin works better for teething pain than Tylenol. Might be worth a try.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
There's nothing wrong with rocking them to sleep . That's your job . This whole idea about getting your kids to fall asleep on their own is too much to expect from a baby.

You're right, you need to enjoy this time while they are young .

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I agree. Tylenol did nothing for my kids.

Stacy, you do what works best for YOUR family, but also remember you need to take care of yourself. It's easy for all of us to tell you what to do, but we are not you and in your shoes or live your life.

I don't think anyone was saying to let him wail though either. I think too many people imagine the worst when thinking of CIO. There is a gentle way to use CIO.

And if you ask Jen...I think you know what she'll say.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I really don't think there is a "gentle" way to leave your baby to cry all alone, wanting someone to pick him/her up & to give them love.

boyohboyohboy replied: I have thought that it would be best for andrew to learn to put himself to sleep because jake has no self soothing tech. at all.

but, I dont know how to modifiy the CIO so that we are both comfortable with it.
I know if i keep going back in and he sees me, he will just cry harder..and we do try to put him on his belly and then rub his back to sooth him to sleep, but that just makes him scream louder...

i will try motrin tonight.

lovemy2 replied:
Try motrin - it lasts longer and takes away the inflamation of his gums - just be careful with it as it can be harsh on the tummy-

Hang in there - its hard I know but it will work itself out - I honestly have never had sleep issues with my kids because like Jen I am a nazi from day one - I always rocked and read books - still do - but they went into bed awake and figured out themselves how to go to sleep - sometimes with with some whimpery crying but never full out wailing - I can't do that either - if it got to that I went back in held them to calm down and put them back - sometimes it took 3 or 4 tries but eventually they got it

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I was talking to Stacy.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Just stating an opinion .

lovemy2 replied:
As you always ever so gently do

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Everyone has given you some pretty good advice! I just wanted to offer you some support and lots of hugs!

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: Sleep deprivation is a very scary thing - especially when you are in charge of taking care of children/babies all day. As a SAHM, I found my self in a dangerous situation when I'd become so sleep deprived when Sammy was waking up every 45 minutes. That's when I knew I had to so something. If you would decide to get the book by Dr. Ferber (Solving your child's sleep problems)....one of the first lines in the book is that most parents only resort to his book out of desperation. LOL Its so true ! Anyway, his book is actually very informative regarding sleep cycles, sleep associations, night terrors, sleep walking -- all kinds of information regarding lost of different sleep problems. Even if you dont Ferberize your baby (which is NOT cold turkey CIO, btw -- you go in and comfort your baby without picking him up) you'd learn alot from the book. I highly recommend checking it out at the library sometime.

What really got me was - I realized that I actually felt SICK due to the lack of sleep. So, if I, a full grown adult, felt SICK from lack of sleep,,,,,,,,,,,then how does my baby, who's brain and body is still developing, feel from this lack of sleep? I mean,,, my growing baby needs his sleep more than me. So, if I feel like I'm ready to keel over,, how the heck does the baby feel? When I thought about that -- I knew something had to change.

Good luck - I've been there and I know how horrible it is. I hope you and your baby find relief soon!

Our Lil' Family replied: I haven't read this book but there is one out there called The No Cry Sleep Solution....I can't speak from experience but I just wanted to throw that out there.

Have y'all ruled out reflux?

boyohboyohboy replied:
I have seen no evidence of reflux. i thought at first it was a food allergy like jakob but have watched him closely and I havent heard or seen him reflux.

boyohboyohboy replied:
i have been so sleep deprived before that i have been sick and having break downs, and all that with jakob and his health issue for the past two and half years.
i dont want to get like that ever again. i am more aware now to watch for signs that mean i have had enough and need a break.
I also have read dr ferber and he isnt for me.
I have the no cry sleep solution here, but as i posted before, my main concern is that I am missing something medical. I posted before too that I missed that with jake and for one week we attempted the CIO and I feel so guilty about that, that I am not able to do it with andrew until i am certain there is nothing else i am missing.
of course i guess its always hard for "mom" to think that her child is crying just to cry and that there is nothing wrong.
but thank you for all the wonderful advice.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied:
Well,, I hear ya and feel for you! It just totally sucks all the way around.

Hang in there and I do hope this comes to and end for you guys soon