my childless wedding shot to haties... - relitves come out of the woodwork..

luvbug00 wrote: So here we are planning a small wedding with only 2 kids Mya and my uncles son. ( if it were up to me he wouldn't even be there..) anyway so Brad was just contacted via myspace ( it's true that sight is nothing but trubble! Lol!!) by 2 of his 8 cousins from his fathers sister, his aunt barb. SO now they are comming out from everywhere and one my age has 4 kids and the rest have thier own crews. . OMG!!!!!! I really didn't want any kids at my wedding but mya at this rate now i'm going to have like 20!!

so now I ask How to i keep all these kids busy so they don't get into too much troubble??

BTW I love kids but i was really going for an adult theme here and they live in mossuri and have never attended family funtions and now they want to come. of all funtions...

coasterqueen replied: Did you tell them adults only in the invitation? If so then ask them to respect that. If not, not sure what to say. Maybe they have attended other family functions, though, so they might no how to act. Who knows?

Edit: BTW, we had lots of kids at our wedding and didn't plan anything for them to do. They danced and their parents controled them. They actually made it a LOT of fun.

luvmykids replied: We had kids to, didn't make any plans for them. They danced and had a better time than most of the adults!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I hope the kids that come will have a great time!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm like you...I'd have a heart attack. If you aren't planning it, it's a huge deal IMO. Especially if it is an adult themed wedding. What to do with kids?

Where is your wedding ceremony? Is it in a church? If so, could you get someone to sit in another room with the kids? Like in the nursery. I'm sure that wouldnt' be a problem. Just make sure all the parents bringing children know that is available and it is what YOU prefer. After all, it is YOUR day.

The reception should be fine with children there. Like someone mentioned, the kids dance and liven up the place...it's fun. However, if it is a formal sit down dinner...that might not be so great. But, weddings are all about celebrating and it should be fun and relaxed. Mya will have more fun with kids there, too.

redchief replied: That's a tough situation. I think that if they're planning on bringing their children it would put you in a difficult family situation if you get your back up about it. That is unless it will put unmetable financial difficulty on you. Otherwise, and especially if this arm of the family feels it's important enough for them to travel to see your union, I would take a deep breath and let the parents entertain their own children.

MyLuvBugs replied: My SIL did something really awesome, At the table's that had the kids, she put a little sack for each child. The sack had their name on it, some candy inside and a desposible camera. The note on the sack said something like:

"We need your help! We really want special pictures taken of our special day, and would like you to help us get these special pictures. Here is a list of pictures that we really want pictures of. (then she listed like 8 things) When you are done taking these pictures for us, you can take whatever pictures you want, but make sure you ask your parents if it's ok before you take the pictures."

She also said that whomever gets all their pictures taken first will get a prize. And the kids had to bring their camera over to my MIL and she gave them a gift certificate to Old Navy.

I thought it was a really cute Idea and it kept the kids REALLY busy for at least 2 hours during the reception.

Kaitlin'smom replied: when my sister got maried 2 years ago she wantted it to have a few kids, I told her thats not goign to work, how can you ask certain people to keep the kids at home and others are okay? She had 2 of her own then, plus 2 nephews and 2 nieces on her side and some more on his side. She agreed and it was fun to see the kids dancing. Kait was just over a year old and she wanted to be on the dance floor as soon as she could.

Go with it I bet it will be fun, I like the camera idea it woudl keep then bussy while your doing formalities then its up to the parents I say.

Brias3 replied: We had some kids at ours too and didn't plan anything. Luckily, the parents were good about controlling them, watching them and bringing a couple of things for them to do.

In fact, the place where we had our wedding at happened to have a huge empty banquet hall next to ours and so alot of the kids navigated in there throughout the night as there was a TV in there and some had brought a couple toys down from their hotel rooms, etc.

luvbug00 replied: we are having it at an old plantation ( read: artifacts and stuff) and the reception is a sit down dinner. On my parents side of the family the boy child is the only relitve under 6 other then Mya. everyone else is 14 and up. on Brads side ALL the children of his cousins are under 6. LOTS and LOTS of newborns and young todlers.. Cameras though a EXCELENT idea is not going to entertain them..Plus money is a slight issue..very slight..I guess we would have to get an adult sitter to watch them a hotel close by and have somone ready to choffer any parent to thier screaming child..

coasterqueen replied: Well it is your day so you should do what you want. I will say if my family invited me and not my children I just wouldn't go. What about those people with very small children who don't really want someone else watching them just yet? I'd be sure to let them know exactly what you plan to do if you are getting a sitter.

Screaming or not screaming, kids will be kids though. Yours, mine and everyones.

1lilpeanut2love replied: I have been invited to a few weddings recently where KIDS WERE NOT ALLOWED!!

ediep replied: I am going to several weddings in the next few months and Jason isn't invited to any of them. I wouldn't expect him to be imvited and I really wouldn't want to bring him. He would have so much more fun at home with my mom or MIL. A formal, sit down affair is no place for a toddler IMO. My sister got married 2 years ago and a similar thing happened...out of town guests came and brought their kids. My mom even set them up with a sitter, they just had to call and make the arrangement but they never called so they brought the kids....they ran around like lanuatics, they tried to get in all my sisters pictures, they were sliding all over the dance floor.....my sister was PO-ed not to mention that it was 3 more dinners that my sister had to pay for

Cece00 replied: We requested NO CHILDREN whatsoever @ our wedding & stuck to it.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I highly reccomend finding a sitter and letting all the family know what the deal is. My sister was adament about the only kids being my niece and nephew (who were in the wedding) and my kids who were also in the wedding. Unfortunately a few family members brought their kids and it ruined it for her and a lot of the other guests that were glad to be away from their kids for the night.
Your wedding sounds much more formal and there is no way a young kid would enjoy that.
Stick to your guns and don't let anyone guilt you, the day is in no way about them or their kids.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I agree that weddings are not for children. My children are not welcome to attend weddings or funerals. That is an adult affair. Sometimes we can attend and sometimes we can't. Usually just one of us goes and one stays home with the kids unless we can find a sitter in advance.

I don't remember ever attending a wedding where children were allowed. However, a sitter WAS arranged if they weren't allowed and there were out of town guests, etc.

Good luck, hun.

booey2 replied: Well we have gone to a couple weddings where kids weren't allowed and forced us to find sitters but in the end it was nice to be out without them for a while. When we got married I had way to many cousins that we under the age of 16 so we used that as the age cut off and some families had to leave a kid or two at home while others were allowed to attend. We just couldn't afford to do it anyother way. I can totally understand when it comes to wee little ones that are nursing or are to little to be left with a sitter, they should be allowed as they don't really take up much room and a meal isn't an issue. I really don't have any suggestions other then maybe getting one of the older kids to be kinda like the babysitter/camp consellor to watch the kids and keep them enterained during dinner.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: This what my sister did. On the invitation she put that children were allowed at the reception up until a certain hour. I can't remember what time she put. But I think that it's your wedding and if you really don't want all those children coming, say something, you have every right too do that!

redchief replied:
We had a situation like that once. The wedding was about two years after ours and we considered a sitter, though we weren't happy about it since the bride's children (this was her second marriage) were more than welcome at our wedding. Anyway, we found that all of the groom's family's children were invited, along with some of the bride's family's kids. It turns out they were worried about our "baby crying," so made sure to make it clear to US that no children were going to be there. When we found out differently we told them we would not be attending along with the reason why. It caused family friction for some time afterward.

ilovemybaby replied: At our wedding the only child there was Abby. On all the invitations we put NO CHILDREN. It's not that I don't like kids. I just know what my cousins are like. Lets just say I don't think my auntie Michelle and my uncle Peter know what the word "discipline" is. I wanted to invite the adult cousins and we did invite the ones on my dads side that are over 17. But my mum did not invite my cousin Michael who is also over 17 and I felt bad about that.
Money was an issue for us. As it is we invited about 50 adults.

If these kids have invited themselves I would email all of them and tell them that they are not invited. It is extremely rude of them to just invite themselves.
And if it was someone else (like your nephew) who accidentally told them they could come then tell that person to tell them sorry but I shouldn't have invited you and you are not invited.

holley79 replied: As long as there is music they will be entertained. Just make it VERY clear to the parents that they are responsible for their children.

I hope it works out.