my issues

boyohboyohboy wrote: ok, so here are my issues, in case you havent gotten the sense already from my other posts....
i hate the town we moved to.
i love love love the house...its got tons of room, really pretty..but i cant stay in it forever...
the town is run down, old, i dont know what it was known for in the past. their are some new strip malls going in, but even they are just ok. we are finding we are spending more almost double on things like groceries here, and the selections are poor. the people in the town so far are rude, our neighborhood appears to be a bunch of partiers...and there is no such thing as customer service here.
the schools, well there are tons of then 10 elementary schools, but they are all old and run down, and caleb got into one of the top three, and its not even a real building. its a trailer added onto the side of a musty old school. it has paneling on the walls, and just smells. if he doesnt have an asthma attack i will just be shocked.
the teacher is brand new out of school, and i swear she looks 12 yrs old.

there are no real restraunts here, no real shopping centers..

and did i mention i cant find a decent dr in the whole town?
also after we got here, and i dont mean to word this wrong, but it appears that the majority of the towns people are just migrant workers that have come in for the apple orchards and other seasonal work..
so the town seems to cater to that.
the other schools in the district got really low scores because none of the kids speak english!

oh i have tried to be patient as we have been here only two weeks, but how do i tell dh i hate it!
we had to come here because of his job, it made it so much easier on him.
before he had a two hour commute home, and we were not seeing him much, and the extra gas made him work weekends..
so now we have him home for dinner and no working weekends..
but man what a sacrifice...

did i mention i hate it here!

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm so sorry Stacy! Is there another town somewhere nearby that would be better? Would you feel comfortable homeschooling Caleb until you find a better school district? I'm sorry. I have no words of wisdom, but if you hate it that much and do not have good feelings about it, I would talk to DH and see what you can do about looking into some nearby towns.

boyohboyohboy replied: i do hate it that much.
there is one private school here a christian school, that has good reviews on line. i wanted to check into it, but dh said no, because he said he was sure it would cost more then we could afford, but i wanted to just call and see. i dont know really how to come right to the point in a phone call that i just need to know how much it costs.
its not just the schools though, its the entire town. we did come here a few times and drive around but i never got the sense that it was like this.

we have driven to maryland which is only 15 mins away and did some shopping and got away and it was nice, so thats where we will go for that stuff, and i guess some dr's...its just the idea of this town. sometimes it feels like its smoothering me.

i guess that sounds stupid, for some reason i just am not happy here.
and i feel selfish for feeling that way, when its so much better for dh and the kids get to spend more time with him.
i hate to be the one to ruin that.

mckayleesmom replied: I felt the same exact way in Jackson Alabama....instead of the migrant thing....everyone there was racist.

Maybe you can go online and find some moms groups or something in the area.....It might just be that you are also feeling lonely. Places are easier to live in if you have friends.

lovemy2 replied: That stinks - can youmove to Maryland - if it is only 15 minutes away would that make it a hard commute again for DH?

As for the Christian school - call most times they have some kind of financial aide and you may qualify - as for the MDs and things - I agree go to Maryland if its 15 minutes that isn't too bad.....

I'm sorry you hate it - have you looked into any kind of Mom's clubs? Through a church or something? Maybe that would help you find some nicer people.....

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm sorry Stacy, but I do feel your pain. I don't like it where I live either, for a lot of the same reasons...it is mostly strip malls and chain restaurants, but it's the move we made for DH's job three years ago (the sacrifice). We knew from the start it would only be temporary. It has been a good stepping-stone in his career, plus it gave me the opportunity (financially) to stay home with the kids, which is what we wanted. We love our home too, and wish I could take it with me to CA, but I am counting the days to get out of here. I hate winter and I hate how conservative it is here. Anyhow, I would say just suck it up for a while. Get out there and join any moms group you can...it helped me to learn that there are moms out there going through the exact same thing I was. Plus, they may have some good resources that you haven't thought of yet (ie; good doctors and schools). Just be careful how you approach it with DH. If he loves his new job, I wouldn't say anything. But if he is not so into it, then maybe you guys can set your goal to move somewhere else in the next year. Just take it one day at a time.

boyohboyohboy replied: i am trying to take it one day at a time, today just seemed to hit me.
i think i have spent the entire day in tears.
i have checked for churches, but our church doesnt have a branch here, so we started looking into other churchs, and frankly just calling and asking for service times i am met with such rudeness here.
i dont even want to take my kids there and leave them in sunday school
i keep telling myself that maybe its just the receptionist and dont put it on the entire business but its hard when its time and time again.

dh loves it job and the commute now, he has gone from getting up for work at 230am to 430 am..he says he feels like a new person

and the kids seem happier. they love the house and the room to run, and the yard and so far caleb likes his school.
i guess its just me.

i tried to talk to our neighbors but she was so snobby...the only person who talks to me so far was the post man!

how pathetic i sound today!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Stacy, this is JMO, but...I think a receptionist or office person does reflect on what the church is like. Maybe not in ALL instances, but I can't imagine the office personel at my church acting rude to anyone who calls. I think it says something about the church when the person handles you rudely, but that's just my take on it. When you call a church, they should be kind and compassionate...not rude.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Do you think maybe it's just the transition you need to get through? The anxiety of everything new?

luvmykids replied: BTDT, and it's miserable. We lived in a town I hated for five years. But, it was just the way things had to be for that time and I had to choose to just make the best of it because frankly, there was nothing to be done about it. I'm already worrying about the same thing if we move to Georgia but have learned from experience that since I can't change the town, the people, etc, all I can do is try to adjust.

I agree that meeting some other moms might help, if MD is only 15mins away maybe you can find a church there. I know it's rough but these are the times we have to make the decision to make the best of a bad situation and challenge ourselves to find some bright spots to get through it. I only say that because, like I said, I've been there....it took me about a year to realize I had to find a way to deal with it or I would have made us all very miserable for those five years.

Good luck, I hope something changes so you can be happy there

A&A'smommy replied: you don't sound pathetic at all!!! Maybe you could put the kids to bed and have a nice dinner just the two of you and talk him about how things are going for you!!!

boyohboyohboy replied:
you are right! i think i just need today to cry it out and feel miserable and then tomorrow i can try to start finding things that i like around here.
we are stuck here, let me rephrase, we are living here for the next three years at least.
I think i will try to search for drs and a church in md. its just seems nicer there.

and also i keep thinking maybe once the weather warms up and we can get outside and walk that i might meet some other moms in this development too.
so far though i cant even find a play ground.

i am working on making the house as nice and pretty, cheerful as i can to keep my busy..

and of course its hard to keep running to the bath room so i dont cry in front of the kids!

thanks for your support

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry Stacy!! Maybe once winter moves out of the way it will seem much better.

luvmykids replied:
I know, it's hard

And the weather always helps when it's nice, thats one thing that no matter where you are you can have fun with the kids outside, even if it's only in your backyard. Another idea, does the town have a Parks & Rec department? Ours has all kinds of things planned, from lunches at the park in the summer to fingerpainting in a gym in the winter. You might meet some moms at the library for story hour too. And, if worst comes to worst, since the MD side is so close, you can just ditch your town for that kind of stuff and head there for all your fun

Hang in there, change is always very hard for me, even good change, and it always takes me awhile to get back on my feet. You'll find some friends and things to do and it will get better

sparkys2boys replied: I'm so sorry that you are finding it rough right now.oving is always hard I think. Myabe take a few weeks to settle in and get used to it and it may seem better then. If after that you are truly miserable I would tell dh and talk through it. GL