omg, i can't believe i said that! - long and embarrassing

cameragirl21 wrote: ok, so i don't know if i should even be posting this and showing off a new side to me that seems to have just come out of the woodwork and that i am not very proud of. i have to start out by saying that while i am hardly miss prim and proper, i pretty much NEVER say bad words in front of clients or anyone i'm doing business with...only among friends if i'm really angry. so much of the business i do is around children that i've learned to instinctively remain calm and not saying anything that could potentially embarrass me...until now. lately i seem to have a major case of diarrhea of the mouth.
ok, so let's start with last week--i was photographing a little girl holding a rabbit in a public place, mind you where there were people watching and witnessing everything. out of nowhere, the rabbit flips out of her arms and i couldn't do anything b/c i was holding the camera. so i screamed, "sh**!" and it wasn't just any scream, it was a very high pitched scream because the rabbit literally flipped out of her arms like a porpoise and it looked like it was going to hit the ground head first which could have caused serious injury, not to mention that it would likely traumatize the child. luckily, one of the animal handlers grabbed the rabbit and it was unharmed but i couldn't believe i said that. i turned the girl's mother, who was watching and apologized and she said, "please, Jennifer, i'm surprised i didn't say that myself!" still, it was so embarrassing.
before i get to the next incident, which just happened, i want to say that while i have a history of eating disorders due to years of ballet with a very strict teacher that always commented on our weight no matter how skinny we were, i have never EVER judged anyone else by their weight, no matter how fat or skinny they may be. the only person's weight that i'm concerned with is my own. anyway, i have a saltwater aquarium and i buy all my fish and corals from a marine biologist who works with his wife. they have another customer who is a rotund, roly poly type of guy and is REALLY annoying. his weight is SO not the issue, he's just long winded and annoying and i've never liked him. but whenever he sees me at the fish store he always compliments me on my hair. so i called Jan, the owner's wife to ask about the availability of certain fish and she said, "Jose says hi to you." and i said, "who's Jose?" and she said, "the guy who likes your hair." and OMG, i have no idea where this came from because not once in my life have i EVER talked like this but what came out was, (spoken in a very snotty, high school cliquish tone) "oh, that fat f***?"
i seriously have no idea where that came from and i don't know who was more stunned, me or Jan. after a dramatic silence Jan says, "excuse me but i am old enough to be your mother...."
i didn't even know what to say, i was too shocked to speak.
and then, yesterday, i was talking to my graphic artist...some of you may recall i posted that her mother was having some problems with a neighbor who was harassing her. anyway, the crazy lady attacked my GA's mother and she is now in jail. but my GA was concerned that she may be mentally ill and would potentially be released by a judge, due to her insanity. so my GA asked me, since i have an advanced degree in psychology and have some background on this if i thought she is mentally ill. well, Barbara, another neighbor witnessed the incident but my GA didn't so i asked to speak to Barbara so i could get the story first hand before making any judgements. well, Barbara is also a bit long winded and she went on and on and on and kept referring to her partner, so it was obvious that she is gay. now you all know i have no problems with gay people and am a big supporter of gay rights...it's been a point of contention between myself and some of you on this board. so i really don't know where this next one came from but yesterday, my GA tells me she's going out to dinner and i asked with whom and she said Barbara and Ann (Barbara's partner) and i said, "oh, the gay girls?" even my GA was shocked and she said, "Jennifer, what's wrong with you?!"
seriously, i cannot stress how out of character this is for me...my whole life seems to have turned into one big Freudian slip! do they make chastity belts for the mouth...?

luvbug00 replied: you were on a roll ehh? dropping the f bomb to me is like saying " the " though. and I get to say Biotch at work when reffering to a female dog. No worries I'm sure none will judge you on it.

ps. I was "fat" too in ballet class. for 12 year aprox.

C&K*s Mommie replied: so sorry about the embarrassing incidents, Jennifer.

Kaitlin'smom replied: maybe you should carry around those chewy granola bars, like the commercial for kids who talk to much or say the wrong thing at the wrong time time for a vacation?

Hillbilly Housewife replied: OMG you and I could be twins this week.

I hate when that happens. I have a sailor's mouth though... make that a crossbred sailor/construction worker mouth... I really really have to watch it during the day, as well as on here. I drop the F-bomb like it's hot ALL THE TIME.

PrairieMom replied: I go through phases like that, where I only say stupid things. hopefully it passes quickly.

Calimama replied: We all have our moments.

grapfruit replied: Aww, that stinks!

I usually try really hard not to embarrass myself by talking, but normally if my mouth opens then well out it comes. I like to call it "Word Vomit".

My worse was in church. (I go to the 9th largest United Methodist Church in the country, so there's a lot of people in service). Well I had seen the service already (b/c my brother was singing) and well, the pastor asked a question that I knew the answer to (b/c I'd seen the service) and OMG, out it came, loudly. He stopped and looked at me and said, "Well that's b/c you've already been here for a service!" and he laughed and went on. I was mortified. There's over 1200 people in a service!!!!!

Then afterwards, this sort of slow guy came up and scolded me! AH! I didn't want to go back to church! LOL!

b&bsmom replied: Sounds like you need a break. I am sure no one will think about them anymore, it is old news. I can imagine you are embarrased though. It happens, could be worse.

redchief replied: <-- Dances around the forum chanting, evilly, "Jennifer is a potty-mouth, Jennifer is a potty-mouth."

cameragirl21 replied: LOL, Ed!
tbh, i didn't even post the worst of it because the rest is just not appropriate for this forum.
hopefully this phase will pass quickly and yeah, maybe i do need a vacation.
thanks for the nice words, everyone, and Nadia, i'm sorry you're in the same fat boat as me...i can't tell you how many of the girls at my ballet school had to be hospitalized for anorexia and/or bulimia. That mental state of fatness never goes away, no matter how low the scale goes. it's sad too because i loved ballet but didn't love the daily weight checks and comments....

sparkys2boys replied: awww your poor girl.. sounds like you need a rest..lol! I don't mean to laugh but.. geeeeshhhh....!!!!! I bet that all of those ppl have forgotten about it already!!