please please please let me sleep

J-rod wrote: why wont kyan sleep over a few hrs straight a night? he wakes up like clockwork at 1 am and 4 am... i get up for work at 6 am so i dont get back to sleep much after 4 am cause once we get him back to sleep its at least 4:30 or later.


i really need some sleep and so does steph. i work 7:30-4 then go to soccer practice until around 8 pm. so i come home and help with kyan all i can until bed. she tried keeping him awake all day yesterday and that didnt matter he still woke up at night and was WIDE awake.


i told her today to let him sleep if he wants to BUT when he sleeps she needs to sleep too.

BabyOwen427 replied: Well, all I can say is get used to it. Sorry. But newborns sleep is very random. Just let him sleep as much as he wants when he wants. I bet he has his days and nights mixed up right now. That will change. Babies can't sleep throught the night until they are atleast 12lbs, physiologically speaking. They need a certain amount of body fat to go at length without eating. And even when they do sleep through the night, it is more like 6 hours at a time. For my DS it didn't happen until 3 months old. And he will probably wake atleast once a night until 6 or 7 months, and then teething comes along, and wakes them up again. They say parents loose 1000 hours of sleep their child's first year.
The only help I can offer is to ask someone (grandma) to come over to watch him while you two get some rest.
Good luck.

moped replied: Actualy keeping him up all day will likely make matters worse, the more he sleeps the more he will want to sleep......let him sleep all he wants.
Sleep is one of the hardest things about a newborn, but it will get better............

luvmykids replied: I guarantee, we ALL feel your pain It really will get better, she definitely needs to sleep when he does, right now forget the house or whatever. As for you, maybe you could go to bed earlier so that when he wakes up at least you've gotten a little more sleep. Or take turns at night so at least you guys are trading off a good nights sleep. I'm sorry, I know it's really rough.

TheOaf66 replied: welcome to parenthood my man...consider yourself lucky if they are only getting up 2 times a night...just remember these days when they get to be a teenager and want to sleep in until 10 on their days off school...DON"T LET THEM SLEEP!!!!

J-rod replied: i go to bed as soon as i get home at night. usually get 2 hrs sleep. ive said the house can wiat...not a priority now. its all done except trim in the bathroom, which that will be a winter project. we cant take turns at night cause she is BF so when she feeds i normally try to stay awake so i can burp and change him if needed...then put him back to sleep.


its a rough rough time. but i love that lil guy....im just gonna wake him up 2-3 times a night when he is a teenager for payback.

TheOaf66 replied:


now I understand why my dad never let me sleep in on summer vacation.

salmndr007 replied: We feel your pain!!!

Though we don't go to bed until 12:30 everynight, Isabella wakes up EVERYNIGHT at 3am, and then again at 6am. No matter how much we keep her awake during the day she still wakes up at night.

One trick we have learned is the LAST feeding of the night make sure he drinks a full bottle if you are bottle feeding. If she is breastfeeding, tell her to make sure the feeding is a long feeding. That is one thing that got Bella to sleep from 11 to 3. Before she was waking up every 2 hours or every hour and a half.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

J-rod replied:
she is BF and we try that...what we have been doing is her gma told us to give him a bottle of water when he wakes up....it seems to calm him down faster...so we try that again tonight and maybe steph wont have to wake up everytime

C&K*s Mommie replied: Others have said it best... you are not alone. BTDT twice.

It will get better. And when you watch him sleeping (soundly) through the night all these hair pulling nights will be a distant memory. Even on the days when he has you and Steph pulling out your hair, because he is going through the many phases of childhood that are to come.... take a peek at him while he is sleeping you may find yourself forgetting what you were going wacko about earlier in the day.

Sorry to get sappy there, a friend and I were talking about watching our kiddos sleep just the other day, and how much they look like angels when they do-- even if they seem possessed during the day.

mckayleesmom replied:
Exactly...it makes them over tired and then they can't sleep.....Im sorry to say this...but it is really normal. Just keep up with a routine and he will eventually follow through....but it might not be for a long time.....WELCOME TO PARENTING....

mckayleesmom replied:
Does she have a pump? I would pump him milk before giving him water. Of course water won't hurt him, but he is probably hungry and if you give him water...it will only satisfy him for so long.

J-rod replied: no pump. i told her we needed to get one and she said no. i told her for when i have him alone. she said thats why we doing breast and bottle feeding. alot of times Kyan will eat just for the sake of doing something....kinda like his father. lol the water makes him fine...i dont think he is hungry alot...more like bored.


yes his days and nights are mixed up for sure

mckayleesmom replied:
have you tried a pacifier?

J-rod replied:
yes and he loves his pacifier. uses it really well.

Bee_Kay replied: Awww... it'll get better soon.
Sleep deprivation is one of those many things that come with a new baby.

Hang in there, he'll get himself scheduled soon enough

(the funny thing is... people think they put their baby on a schedule... it's the babies that schedule the parents )

J-rod replied:
yep!!!


i told steph last night the chain of command has changed in the house

now its:
Kyan
Steph
me

Cece00 replied: Thats a newborn for ya. I would get a pump or try formula in a bottle before water. The water can dilute their system (electrolytes, etc) , I personally wouldnt give him that...

Hopefully it'll get better. A lot of newborns start sleeping better around 6-12 weeks. Some dont...so you just hope yours is one who does!!

TheOaf66 replied:
hey don't feel bad in my house the heirarchy is

Tanner
Jennie
Me
2 Cats (and they are plotting to overtake me)

MyLuvBugs replied: Welcome to being a parent man! The first two weeks suck, but I swear it will get better. What you have to understand is this little person is growing constantly, so their metabolism is HIGH and therefore they want to eat a lot more often. The best thing you can do is sleep when he sleeps. Have you tried a swing to help soothe him a little?

BAC'sMom replied: I remember those days. It's only temporary you'll be him on a schedule in no time.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I hope you get some sleep soon.

Just a side note...you aren't supposed to give breastfed babies water. Actually, I don't think you are supposed to give water to a formula fed baby, either. My grandmother was the same way...always told me to give my kids water b/c "aren't they thirsty?" Anyway, I think Kellymom.com has something on that.

luvmykids replied:
I remember seeing something about that too... I think 6 months is when they recco giving a baby water. I'll try to find it.

ETA: I can't find my link, there are a lot of conflicting opinions but more say no than yes, mainly because after drinking water they won't nurse as well

moped replied: Yeah I am pretty sure I was told not to give Jack water at that age..................at 8 days old he is going to eat often and lots, which is a good thing. Sleep is not high on the priority list unfortunalty

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I've always wondered who coined the phrase sleeping like a baby. I'm pretty sure that person never had one. Welcome to parenthood. Newborns, especially BF ones, can and will get up every 2 hours to nurse. The fact that Kyan is only getting up twice is really good. Also I was told no water until a year old myself.

Boo&BugsMom replied: It's not bad to give a baby water from what I've been told. For a 'meal' it is obviously bad...but, not to sound too sarcastic, what is formula is mixed with? Water. I've never heard to not give a baby water and have actually been told by many doctor's, nurses, etc. that giving water is good for their system and keeps them hydrated. Water is natural, pure, and good for you at any age. Of course, I am not a nurse or doctor myself, but that is just what I have been told by the ones I have talked to. I suppose every doctor has their own opinion too. Tanner loved water inbetween meals and kept his colicy self very happy.

BTW, welcome to the club!!! Get use to it, but know that is does get better! Only waking up twice a night is great for a newborn. We had it worse...so feel lucky. Sooner or later he will get himself on a schedule. Just be consistant with his bedtimes and everything and slowly he will start to sleep for longer periods of time. Good luck!

C&K*s Mommie replied: Does it help any to know that you are not alone??

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I've never thought of that point. That's a good point...about not nursing. Tanner never had a problem taking anything, so giving him water didn't make him not want his formula...and it shows. He'd eat anything, typical little male . I guess you'd have to access your child to see if it has an adverse affect on them. It didn't matter with him, but it just may make a difference with the next I suppose.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Here's the link with some information. BTW, I don't think you are hurting your baby. I just always read that you shouldn't give a baby water and was sharing that info with a new dad who may not be aware.

http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/baby-water.html

J-rod replied: well he is still eating good...did last night, and today a couple times she said. so i dont see a problem so far. if it makes him stop eating then we will cut the water out. so far so good...except the sleeping. lol

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Thanks for the link. I'm really interested to read it, as I've never heard anything negative about it before, so the news is new to me, but it makes sense!

J-rod replied: i printed the link for steph to read too.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That is a really good link! I learned some thing new today! We need a lightbulb smilie! It does make sense that they don't "need" it because milk and formula have enough water in it to keep hydrated. So, it's not nec. that it's "bad" for them, they just don't need it, and getting more BM or formula is probably filled with more nutrients anyway.

I think for Tanner when he was a baby it is was that he was actually just thirsty. He's still a thirsty boy til this day, always drinking water, but still eats his meals. I dunno. Now, I'm more confussed. I guess I would just assess each child and do what you think is best. I didn't know about the allergens though. Are they referring to tap water more so than the bottled kind I wonder?

MyBabeMaddie replied: Wow! I'm really impressed that you are getting up also, my db thinks there's no point in him waking up since i'm BF - props to you!

Cece00 replied:
Just to add...another link about the subject...

http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/foodnutri...sp?content=1240

My3LilMonkeys replied:
Wow, your cats must be slow....mine have already overthrown DH, myself and Madison and are plotting to take out Brooke. Then they'll be on the top of the chain!

flirtycuddle replied: I just had a baby boy on July 12 and even now he is waking 2 times a night to eat. Will is over 10lbs and 6 weeks old and is always eating still. My daughter on the other hand was 3 weeks old sleeping all night and I was so thankful. My daugther is 19 months and just so my son doesn't wake her me and him sleep out in the living room on a futon lol. He is bottle fed by the way and still wakes alot to eat. When I was bf and he was that age he was up every 2 hours all night and I swore I was gonna lose it. Also my peditricians also always said to never give water this young cuz the water will take away from his food intake and the nutrients that he needs.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Hey new dad! Sleep has now become a priviledge NOT a right We have all been there and feel your pain BUT I promise that it will get better (Tay did not sleep an entire night until she was 2!!!) And all these sleepless nights are worth the reward-


I did not read any past your post about giving the baby water so forgive me if I repeat what may have already been said but that is really not the best thing for him right now-I understand it is counter intuitive-It makes him sleep right? Formula is mixed with 75% water and Breastmilk is a great majority water as well BUT straight water can dangerously imbalance his system....I know you were just following what an older=wiser relative said (I heard the same thing when Tay was born) but I was shown different by a pedi in the ER one night when Tay was 2 weeks old....(not in ER from giving her water but happened to mention it) Just tell Steph to hang in there....this too shall pass. I know it is soooo hard BUT tell her to try and enjoy these first few moments in the still of the night! Memorize his face and his smell- they change faster than you will ever believe and amazingly enough-in just a few years these sleepless nights won't seem so bad after all!

coasterqueen replied: PLEASE don't give the baby water. A breastfed baby does not need water as breastmilk does a good job The link Aimee provided is an excellent one.

Also, you really have to get rid of the mindset that your baby is just eating for the sake of eating. The baby DOES need to eat at least every 90 minutes, as breastmilk digests within about 90 minutes. So giving him water is only replacing the much needed/important nutrients he needs from his mommy. It may keep his tummy fuller longer giving the impression that he's fine, but it's really not giving him the health benefits he needs from that breastmilk to grow big and strong and for OPTIMAL brain growth and development.

I'd highly suggest trying to get your wife to cosleep with the baby. When I coslept, there was no need for burping during those night feedings, unless the baby is acting like it needs to be burped. Cosleeping will give both of you some much needed rest.

One other thing you need to remember is that a baby goes through a TON of growth spurts in those early days up until 3 months. Then the spurts stretch out a bit. So a baby could likely nurse every hour in the 1st few weeks/months as those spurts not only help them grow it increases your wifes supply to what it needs to be to help this baby grow.

Last, but not least, not getting sleep is really just a normal thing in the early days. There aren't too many people who could tell you they got sleep. You just really have to try to grin and bear it. I know, no fun.

Also, if she was going to pump a bottle so you could feed at night for her to get sleep........she'd still have to get up to pump that missed feeding unless you were sure you were going to do this feeding every time because her supply will decline if not go away during this time frame you would feed the baby.

Hang in there. Some of us, me at least, had one who nursed every 2 hours 24/7 until she was 18 months of age. My coworker constantly asks me how I manage two kids who didn't/don't sleep through the night and keep me up a lot and I just reply "you get used to it, your body does at least".

jcc64 replied: Ita about the water thing. Babies who cry to eat ARE hungry- they aren't really capable of being bored in the way that we know it, and thus, aren't eating to merely amuse themselves. Newborns are basically all about getting their basic biological needs met- eating, sleeping, warmth, comfort- that's about it for a little while. If the baby's crying- why would you replace an opportunity for meaningful sustenence with water? I know as new parents you're receiving TONS of advice- from relatives, friends, us- but the only one you really have to listen to is your baby. If he's crying- he needs something, and at this age, it can only be a few things. The great thing about bf is it satisfies hunger AND thirst simultaneously.
As far as the sleep deprivation- it really helps to adjust your expectations. Don't expect to get more than 2 or 3 hrs at a time. If you co-sleep and bf, the feedings don't really interrupt your sleep all that much. As Karen said, your body will adjust. In a few weeks, if you get a good 4-5 hr stretch, you'll feel like you can conquer the world, believe me.
Good luck, and enjoy this stage- it goes VERY quickly.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I just wanted to add that I completely agree with the co-sleeping. Now Jade was a challenge, She did have colic and her colic time usually started at about 2 am. So I would be in bed with her at 6 pm. Yeah it was weird, but if I wanted sleep that's how I had to do it. I got much more sleep with Jordan. I miss the moments in the quiet of night when it was just her and I. Anyway it will get better. That was my mantra through Jade's first year of life. With Jordan it's been this too shall pass. You have to take the good with the bad, but that's being a parent. You're doing a great job and kudos to you for staying up to help.

J-rod replied: we didnt give water last night....he woke up every two hours...guess i jinxed myself.


whats cosleeping? sleeping with Kyan in the bed with us? she has been doing that from 2-3 am on. he wont go back to sleep any other way it seems.

jcc64 replied: Yeah, that's basically what co-sleeping is- just keeping the baby in bed with you at night. There are a variety of products available if you're uncomfortable with keeping the baby right in the bed- such as these side car thingies that are like a crip or cradle but they attach right to the side of your bed so you can basically just roll over and grab the baby as soon as he cries w/o ever even sitting up. There are also little pillow type barricades that you can put in your bed if you're afraid of rolling over on the baby in your sleep. We never had any of those things, we kept them right in between us- but we also had a king size bed so there was plenty of room for everyone.
Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of co-sleeping- and there are things to consider pro and con, but for people who are really missing their sleep, this seems to be a good solution for parents and baby. There's lots of info all over the web about it. Good luck.

J-rod replied:


thats actually what led me to this site looking for info on those (my first post ever) never did find it. i know about the things you put them in to make sure we dont roll on him....but cant find one local. might order one tonight.

we gonna start the co-sleeping....cause he does sleep better i just worried about him not going back to his bed to sleep. my assistant coach's wife told me she slept with her mom/dad till she was 15, her youngest son is 11 and still sleeps with them....and that troubles me.... i KNOW we wont be like that...but i want him in his own bed soon and always.


edit - we have a queen bed..so room is ok...but im a paranoid new young dad

J-rod replied: my first post ever on this board

http://forums.parentingclub.com/index.php?act=ST&f=3&t=36137

moped replied: I am not sure what you wer describing, but there is something called "Co-Sleeper"..........just like a little bed thing that would be in your bed between mom and dad......I discovered it after Jack was out of our bed, but it sure looked cool
Will look for a pic

J-rod replied:
this:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...g=UTF8&v=glance


yea we might get one of those today at Target.



but in my linked original post im looking for the one that attached to side of bed

MomToJade&Jordan replied: This link will bring you to what you're looking for. Infact there seems to be a lot of them. They're called a Co-sleeper.

Co-sleepers

J-rod replied: thinking about buying this on the way home:

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-...asin=B00012CHFI


still cant find the one that attaches to the side of the bed

moped replied: Oh I like the one you posted the link to - get that one!!!!!!!!

J-rod replied:
the one from target or amazon?


edit - the blue or tan one?

Kaitlin'smom replied: are these more what you had in mind?

on step ahead

moped replied: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-...asin=B00012CHFI

THis is the one I had in mind

J-rod replied: this is what i was thinking...guess they dont "attach" to the bed
http://www.onestepahead.com/product/117/406756/117.html

too bad we already have an oak crib, pack n play, mom made us a a rocking cradle (beautiful).


yea jen - thats the one i was considering buying on way home from work if time permits.

ashtonsmama replied:

Good luck!

boyohboyohboy replied: J -Rod, I remembered you posted this a while ago, and I just came across this book by Dr Tobin, that discusses babies sleep patterns, I have a 9 month old that still gets up hourly for feedings!
anyway, it says it does the no cry solution, I am not a fan of the CIO method. I just thought I would mention it to you, in case it could help. It says its easiest to use in the first 6-8 weeks of life....
Good luck

my2monkeyboys replied: Your son sounds normal to me. When he wakes up does he cry, or is he just awake? If he's not crying, I would just let him lay there. Of course, if he is crying then he's probably hungry. Does Steph stay home with him by herself all day? If so, maybe she could get someone to come by for a couple of hours right after he eats so she can a little nap. That's the one thing I would go back and change if I could... sleep when they sleep, and take up offers for others to watch him while you take a nap!
At any rate though he'll start sleeping longer before too long. I think typically around 3-4 weeks old they'll usually drop one of the their night time feedings, then a month or so later another one. By about 2 1/2-3 months old they'll sleep a good 6 hour stretch.
One thing too to make sure of is how much he's eating each time. If he's only eating enough to knock the hunger down then he'll wake up sooner. When Will was 3 months old I realized that his 3am feeding wasn't a feeding, it was a snack. He'd eat like 2 oz then fall asleep. After a couple of nights of letting him just fuss during that time, he quit waking up.
Sorry for the long post! Hope some of this helps!
Welcome to parenting... where there's always something to drive you crazy!

J-rod replied: he over eats. he spits up after eating several times.


normally he cries (when in his bed) but when in our bed he will wake up and just make noises. he rarely wakes up to eat when in our bed. maybe 2 times per night.

my2monkeyboys replied: That sounds good then, that he's eating until he's full. This is totally a personal thing, but I just want to warn you of sleeping with your child. It seems as though you do not want him in bed with you as he gets older, which is why I'm mentioning this. The more he sleeps with you, the harder it will be to get him into his own bed later. My nephew is 8, and about once or twice a week he still goes into my sister's room at night and climbs in bed with them. I never had Will in bed with us bc we just wanted our bed to be our bed, not a family bed. I just had him in a bassinet next to our bed when he was little, kind of like those cosleepers that strap to the bed. Anyway, I know it will be easier for now for him to sleep with you, but you'll eventually have to go through some trouble getting him switched into his own bed, so I say why not go through it now and get it over with, KWIM?
Of course that's not to say you shouldn't let him sleep with you... it's all a personal choice, you just seemed like you don't want a shared bed and I just wanted to give you my 2 cents on it.

J-rod replied: i dont like him in the bed but it relaxes him. i told her were stopping this asap so we dont have the fight later..... but for now its okay cause he's too little to remember....

my2monkeyboys replied: yeah, it's hard to be tough when they're so small and sweet, isn't it!?!

BTW, I want to commend you for getting up with Steph every night. MY DH never did, but of course I stayed home and he went to work every morning, so I had a chance to take a nap during the day if I wanted to. Anyway, that's just great of you! Tell Steph she's got a good hubby!

My2Beauties replied: You've had some good advice. ITA agree about the water thing, my MIL used to swear that I was harming Hanna by not giving her 4 oz of water every day and my dad would even tell me that she needed water, of course when I was a baby this is what all doctors told parents so they were all baffled when I said my doc told me no water. I secretly think that MIL would give her water anyways if she watched her but...well... a different story. Anyways, I would give Hanna water after about 8 months old if she was thirsty and it wasn't quite time for a bottle or any food. It was very rare though. I admit at first I listened to older family members and gave her a couple bottles of water, then when the ped told me why there's no need, I ceased it. I think your little one is doing great just waking up twice a night, I would have given anything for just twice a night, Hanna was up 5-6 times a night. BF babies usually feed every 2 hours or so so that's awesome. Just hang in there it gets better, but fair warning Hanna did not sleep all night long until she was 18 months old!!!!! I was going crazy by then.

Also, FWIW my DH is a sound sleeper so I chose to not put Hanna in the bed with us too much, I mean sometimes she did end up in there but it just scared me to death. So if you do co-sleep I definitely recommend the co-sleeper things you are already looking into. I just think it's dangerous to not have one.

J-rod replied: we have a co-sleeper....sometimes we use it sometimes not. steph normally holds him if he is not in it. but normally he is in the sleeper.