sad time for us - religion mentioned

boyohboyohboy wrote: i had post at the end of june, that one of my very best friends and mentors was sick from a stroke, and her family had requested we not visit her. well after months of rehab, and very positive weekly updates, she has passed away.
i have had a few weeks now to adjust to this, but i dont seem to be able to.
i am so sad that i never got to see her again. i did write her letters every week and tell her how much she meant to us. and i was told that her family read them to her, so that has some consoling effect.

how ever i find myself really angry at God. why did he put someone in my life to help me then take her right when i feel i needed her the most?
and she was one of the remarkable people that helped so many, that her presence is so greatly missed. she had so much work left her to do. i know that God could have used her more here on earth.
i know that is the most selfish comment to make, that i want her here, but its true.
so last week i realize i was so angry that i was taking it out on everyone, now this week i am just sad. really sad.

i talked to her the night before her stroke, and she was so happy, never let anything bother her.
i just wish i had been able to see her.

i have two childrens books she was working on, she was a published author, and she was starting some books for kids like the book, purpose driven life, she had asked my husband to see if he was interested in illistrating for the book, now do i take these books to her sons, and ask if they want them, or can i keep them?

what do you think?

CantWait replied: I'm so sorry for your loss, and can only say because I'm not deeply religious that God doesn't give us things which we can't handle. That alone has pulled me up many many times.

As for the books, maybe you could get your husband to illustrate them like she would have wanted and then bring them to her son's, or pulicize them, or make a deal with them to have them publicized the way she probably would have wanted.

mom2my2cuties replied: Is all I can say. And that I will be praying for you through this.

I think I would evaluate the situation and if you think her sons would follow her wishes, I would go that route, but if not - you can have them published for her posthumously and the money can still go to her sons I believe.

I think it was you who told me yesterday - "God never hands us more than we can handle" So I give that back to you. (And you can tell me the same thing I said about that )

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am sorry for your loss.

The idea of having your husband illustrate them is a good idea. And then continue to give the books to them so they will have a physical memory to cherish of their mother.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Stacy, just remember how happy she probably is right now. She's in a wonderful place filled with happiness and joy! Much happier than us here on Earth. It was just her time to go home. Other people will continue to touch you in your life as she has.

boyohboyohboy replied: joy was such an amazing person, its just going to be so hard to imagine life without her. also i have never lost anyone close to me before. so handling death is new...i have done it as a nurse, and i have lost patients i cared about, but not family and joy was like my mom.

i just dont want her family to feel like we are taking advantage of the situation with the books, we dont want anything for them, or want to gain from them. i was just thinking of keeping them as a keep sake for myself or wondered if i should give them to her real family?

luvmykids replied: Stacy I'm so sorry, I know this was a very deep loss. Try not to think of it as her being taken from you but as a gift, if we never had people in our lives that we may lose at some time then what would we miss? It's raw pain that you're feeling but I hope a time comes when you can treasure the time you had her in your life. I saw a quote the other day that said "What is the point of death? It is to give meaning to life." I thought that was beautiful. I will be keeping you in my prayers

Kirstenmumof3 replied: My heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry for your loss!

As for the books, I would approach her sons and see if they would like to have them published with the help of your DH! I think this is what your friend would have wanted!

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry for you loss

as for being angry its normal to be angry, and easy to blame it on God... Recently someone that I pretty much grew up with was taken at his prime in life I kept asking "why him" over and over but today for some reason it came to me God loved that person more than we ever could, extremely hard to imagine but its true! He gave her to you for a short time to give you something that you needed and something that she needed, he took her when it was her time not sooner, not later. Its a part of life that is VERY hard to understand!! I hope that you will find peace about this and again I'm sorry for your loss!!

BTW i hope that made sense!!

J-rod replied:


ITA....that has saved me on more than one occasion.

cameragirl21 replied: Sorry for your loss, Stacy I've been going through this for the past year and a half that I've been working on my ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) charity project and I'm sure you (and others) may have seen me question religion and God on these boards so I know exactly what you're going through.
As to the books, what about this--have your DH illustrate them and then take them to a publisher to be published posthumously (after the author's death) and then have the money from the sale of the books go into a trust fund for her sons' future.
That way everyone benefits, including your friend who I'm sure wanted her work to be published for the public to enjoy.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.



ITA ~ they might really appreciate the gesture.