safe haven law - nebraska

boyohboyohboy wrote: I keep watching this on the news and it just breaks my heart.
From what I understand you are allowed to take your child of any age to the hosp and leave them there, you now have 30 days to return before they take your child from you....

they have 35 kids now..
can you imagine the psychological damage done to these kids as there parents kiss them good bye and they leave them there.

oh it just brings me to tears to type this.
they said that kids as old as 17 are dropped off, now what are they going to do with a 17 yr old, just keep bouncing them in a bad system until they are left out on their own with all these scars..

My3LilMonkeys replied: I think a safe haven law is a good thing - it hopefully prevents babies from being left for dead in dumpsters or wherever by mom who don't want them. However I have never heard of it extending to kids as old as seventeen - that seems kind of odd to me.

And IMO I don't like the 30 days to change your mind idea.

boyohboyohboy replied: I absolutely dont think you should get to change your mind! I agree with a safe place for people to take new borns and babies that they are over whelmed with if their alternative is to kill them...
however I dont know that I agree with no prosecution or anything being said or done to them..I mean it just seems wrong to just abandon a human being..

this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way.

HuskerMom replied: I don't know about other states but here in Nebraska there's no age limit to drop kids off. In the last couple months I think there's been about 30 kids dropped off and none of them were infants, I think the oldest was 18. They're talking about changing the law to have a limit of 3 days old.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I cant help but wonder what will happen to all these kids now, and if they do change the laws are there more kids out there at risk?

I saw an interview tonight with a nurse who meets these kids at the door and she was saying how they cry and beg their parents not to leave...
can you just imagine?
as a nurse I think that I couldnt handle that...

HuskerMom replied:
I know I feel so sorry for those kids. It makes me wonder what the kids think, kwim?

I hope they change it, I've always been proud to be from Nebraska but this is just embarassing.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I wouldnt be embarrassed at what they tried to do....I guess its the people of nebraska (small % of them) that are abandoning their kids that are really terrible...

I agree, I keep thinking about what does a 4 or 5 yr old think when mommy says sorry I cant do it anymore...I mean I have a son that old..we dont even use sitters because I wont leave them that long..so I cant even begin to imagine what type of person just walks away from their child....

My3LilMonkeys replied:
ITA that it is wrong to abandon your child...however I feel if there were consequences such as jail time or a fine or whatever then the mom wouldn't want to bring their child in...which is what leads to the babies being left for dead.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I know, but what is the answer then?
It just seems so wrong..

I dont know if there is really a good side to this.. I guess a three day old baby wont be as "damaged" as a 5yr old or worse a 17 yr old..but it just doesnt seem right.

mom21kid2dogs replied: This law is a perfect example of why you shouldn't let legislators be social workers (or teachers for that matter). It's a very poorly crafted piece of legislation that allows any one ANYWHERE to come to Nebraska and abandon their children. The NASW told them flat out that this would happen as did a number of other child welfare advocates but they went ahead with it anyway. The state got what they deserved and the kids got the shaft.

PrairieMom replied:
It's not just Nebraskians, nebraskaites? what ever. People are driving from Other states to Nebraska to abandon their children. They did a piece on GMA or that other morning show, which ever one I watch... and they interviewed a lady from I think Arkansas who drove over 1000 miles to abandon her 15 year old.

I don't know what the answer is. Should she just kick him out of her home into the street where he can get mixed up into who knows what, which he is probably already mixed up in, to be homeless, or take him somewhere where he can be placed into a system to be given at least a chance?


They are changing the law. They originally wanted a 3 day age limit, but decided that that was to little time, so now they will be placing a 30 day age limit on it.

stella6979 replied:
Yep, some woman here in Michigan drove there to drop her son off too.

Crystalina replied: THis all started with one woman dropping off her unruly teenager. She found out that she could do this in Nebraska (where she lived). That made the news a few months ago (if that long) and now everyone is jumping on it. I guess the law has been in affect for years but nobody used it until this lady checked into it. I think it is very sad but some of these kids need real help. I'm not saying dropping them off is the answer but I know of some people who have asked time and time again for help d/t their teenagers being violent, doing drugs and just plain causing trouble and not listening and nothing is ever done. Most are from single parent (mostly mother) homes. If the mother has other children to take care of and a job to keep and gets no help when she asks for it I can't see what other choices she has. Some of these kids are just out of control and I realize it's d/t their enviroment but some parents are doing the best they can and still get no respect from their kids.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I agree with everything you said, but I think dropping them off and making them feel abandoned and not wanted and just left to fend on their own in a very over crowded system is just setting them up to be criminals..

I know I have heard of these kinds of kids that just act out and the parents have no control..I dont know what you do, go to the dr and have them committed? I dont know...

I also just wonder what happens to these kids once the law is changed?
and I wonder if anyone has done a story on if any of the parents came back to get their kids?

msoulz replied: I think it better they drop them off than harm them. It's probably better to be alive and emotionally scarred than dead. JMHO.

A&A'smommy replied: UGH this breaks my heart!!!

mckayleesmom replied: I would rather see safe haven laws include all ages..then to hear about a child being murdered....It is sad that some people are abusig it, but better abuse the system then a child.

My2Beauties replied: I'm wishy washy on this. I have a very good friend, she's in her late 30's who has a teenage son, he's 17. She had him when she was 16 I believe. Her and the father are still married and have been since the child was born and are a very happy couple. She, from what I've heard and seen, is a very good mother, very hands-on, very involved, has tried countless times to make sure he does right. She has cried and cried and cried to me numerous times because he got mixed up in the wrong crowd and went down the wrong road. he is currently in rehab, he almost OD'd and died several weeks ago He has been to juvie a dozen times and she has asked them several times to keep him and treat him because she can't control him and he'll go back to the streets. She can't afford boot camp, she has looked into it, she has been unsuccessful in getting any help for him. She has had him admitted and they let him out after the mandatory 72 hours. It's really sad, so I can see where the mother of a teenager who has no other recourse would want to drop them off to see if they could get the help they need - but after the 30 days is up, do they have no rights to them, do they have no rights to see how they are progressing? What do they do with the children? This is where I have an issue, because I couldn't just (nomatter what the circumstances) drop my child off to never see them again!! As far as babies go I think it's best because we'll have less murdered children and women having kids in back alleys only to dispose of them in garbage cans Now dropping off a smaller child anywhere from 2-12 years of age - I mean honestly are there really children out there that cannot be controlled and that are that bad at those ages to the point where the parent gives up or do we just have that many horrible selfish people out there??? Sad sad world!

Cece00 replied: I definetly think it should be allowable for young children, say under 1.

Actually, I'm not totally opposed to the "any age" thing bc obviously if you are so intent on abandoning your teenager, you probably werent providing a good home life to begin with, or youre a good parent with a totally out of control kid, and sounds better to seperate in either of those cases rather than live in a bad situation.