serious question i want to throw out there... - please no debates!

mummy2girls wrote: I was watching an episode with a couple who had a baby girl with downs. The mom wanted her but the dad didnt. he found it way to hard to deal with it... How would you feel if you had one with downs? would you want to keep him/her?

I would fall in love with a child with downs. i feel that a child with special needs is a gift. ( well any kids are gifts....) but i think it takes a very speacial erson to raise one. I think thats why i have had a big passion for special needs kids and absolutely love to work with them:) there is one thing about downs... no matter how hard life is for them or what is thrown at them they always have a huge smile on thier face! They are always happy little people!

Nina J replied: If I had a child with Downs, I would love them just as much as I love Emily and Odessa. They would be my child, I couldn't not love him/her or not want him/her. A disability wouldn't change a thing. It would be difficult at times, but the child is a human being and to not love them or want them because they suffer from a syndrome they can't help having is inconceivable to me.

I agree with you Shelley, people with Downs Syndrome are always so happy. Being around any person with Downs Syndrome always brightens my day, just seeing the smile on there face and there passion for life, even though they suffer from a disability, is inspiring to me.

mammag replied: Any baby I had.......regardless of their health or abillities........would be loved and cherished. Sounds to me like the guy just wasn't cut out to be a father period. With any child there could be issues to deal with. Would he give the child up if it got cancer or something?

My3LilMonkeys replied:

Hillbilly Housewife replied: That's a hard question to answer without having other people's perspective of you forever changed.




On that note... I don't know if I could, I won't know unless I'm in that situation. Of course, I wouldn't need to handle it unless *up there* felt I needed to handle it, so I'm not woried about it. If it happens, it happens because it's meant to happen. I worked with midly to severely handicapped cihldren, for a couple years, so it's not like I don't know all the care and attention, time and energy that is involved. Having three young children right now, I don't know that my sanity would be able to hack it - but, I'm not there - so I don't know for sure.

mummy2girls replied:
That makes sense! my mom said the same thing. she would love the child no matter what buit does not know if she could hack it... ita a tough tough life for both child and parent...

Ashlynn's Mommy replied:
I think you made a good point.

amynicole21 replied: I would definitely love any child I had, but don't know if I would have the energy or patience to handle it either.

BAC'sMom replied: Yes I would keep the child.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: My cousin is 26 years old now and has Down's. I wouldn't trade him for a million dollars. Shelly you're right, they are such happy people. I'd keep one if I ever had a Down's baby.

luvbug00 replied:



ITA but if it happened tomarrow I financially couldn't handle it. I also would love my child but I think that a child with disablities deserves someone who can give them the best care available and i know right now that is NOT me and deffinately not Brad. he couldn't handle the emotional stress.
as far as if it happened in the future I can't say.

TheOaf66 replied: well I don't want to be insensitive or anything but when we found out we were pregnant I prayed for a healthy "normal" baby because I just did not want to deal with a "special" child...now had it happened I would have loved it just the same but I just didn't want to even cross that bridge.

Sorry

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I would DEFINITELY keep a child with DS. DH's uncle has down's and is in his sixties. I've never met him since he lives in Holland, but I hear that he is an amazing person!

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
ITA! I'm sure it would be difficult, but it would also be an honor and a gift.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I would love it no matter what, but I also know it would be hard. I hope I could do it, but I dont know if I could. It would be a very hard decision.

5littleladies replied: I would keep my child no matter what the circumstances. It might be difficult, and I'll admit that this is one situation that I would probably have a hard time with, but I believe any child God gives me is a gift and I would love and care for that child no matter what.

CantWait replied:
Well said.

To answer your question though, I don't blame the father. Like you said it takes a very special person to be able to handle the care that a disabled child would need. I'm not sure that I could provide that care, but God only gives us what we can handle at any given time.

MyLuvBugs replied: Wow. that episode you were watching sounds like my Sister and her hubby. My youngest niece has down's. She's adorable but a holy terror! I love her, but I really don't know if I could handle having a child with downs. I know God only gives you what you can handle, but.....I don't know. I guess if it happened we'd deal with it then. KWIM?

mckayleesmom replied: I would keep my child and give my husband away

lisar replied: I would 100% keep them. That would be my child no matter what there problem was. I would love them the same and everything. I would have no problem with it. I have never asked my DH about it but I wouldnt really care what he said it would still be my child.

mammag replied:

Boo&BugsMom replied: It is my belief that God doesn't give people more than they can handle. With that said, I honestly believe if a person could not handle a child with a disability, then God would not let that happen in the first place. So, if I was blessed with a child with Down's then God obviously thinks we can handle it. Just my two cents.

A&A'smommy replied: I think it would be very hard.. and I actually do think about this a lot I'm terrified that I'm going to have a child with mental problems but I know in my heart no matter how hard it will/would be that I will love that child with all of my heart, mind and soul and I will do everything I can to care for that child....


ITA Tannerbugsmom well said!!!

C&K*s Mommie replied: Several others have said what I was thinking, that GOD does not give you any more than He knows that I am capable of handling. Even if I think, that I cannot.
I would definately love that child- no doubt.

Brianne, said it well. If push came to shove, and it was our child, over our marriage.... and nothing else was helping to save the marriage.... my child is forever, my child.

AlexsPajamaMama replied:
Well said, I agree!

I'd love any baby I was blessed with

kimberley replied: my child is my child no matter what illness they have. i love them the same

Maddie&EthansMom replied: My ex-boyfriend's little girl has Down's. She is precious and they love her dearly. He and his wife had a hard time with the diagnosis, but they knew that God gave them this child for a reason. They now have a 6 month baby boy...so it didn't scare them too badly.

I look at it this way....my kids, both of them, were given to me as a gift. God chose me to raise them for whatever reason... He wanted me to be their mother. It wasn't a mistake b/c God doesn't make mistakes. If He were to give me a child with DS, I would love that child with everything in me. I would feel honored and blessed.

I've always loved kids and adults alike who have Down's. I think they are very special and wonderful human beings. They are not always sweet and fun loving...they can have varying degrees of Down's and some of them are severly retarded which can make them more violent. It really just depends.

On another note, Scotty had a cousin who was born with Down's. His name was William. His mother never took care of him and basically left him in a home to die. It breaks my heart and I never knew him. But Scotty is close to his older brother. I'm not sure why he died, but his mother wasn't there when he passed, either.

I don't understand some people, but you know what...they are the ones who have to live with themselves and I suppose I'll leave it to God to do the judging on this one.

luvmykids replied:
I think most of us feel the same ....

My SD has a cousin and an uncle with Down's and they are awesome, incredible, inspiring people. ITA it would be difficult to have a child who is so "challenged" but the rewards are awesome.

PrairieMom replied: I would love my child no matter what challenges they had.

My dad told my mom when she was PG with me that if she ever had a child with spacial needs he would leave her. How nice is THAT?

ashtonsmama replied:


I worked as a Special Ed. assistant one summer in high school, working with autistic and Down's kids, and they are the sweetest human beings on this planet. Wow-for sure-I can't imagine how hard it must be, but that baby would be OURS.

ashtonsmama replied:
That's awful! Your dad sounds like he needed a little attitude adjustment on that one.

PrairieMom replied:
Yeah. He needs an adjustment on a LOT of things.