terrible terrible two's - anyone?

boyohboyohboy wrote: Jake is driving me nuts this week. he has never been so badly behaved or worse tempered as he has this week.

he is hitting his brother non stop on the head, thank God it never occurs to caleb to hit him back. I think if I were caleb, I would knock him across the room by now. He hits him with toys or what ever is near him. i have tried time outs, he just doesnt get it, i have to hold him there, and he struggles and fights and its hardly worth it, i wonder if by the time we are done fighting he even knows what he was in time out for. I have tried slapping his hand, he just hits back. so thats not working. we tell him no hit, but he just makes a fist even and hits..

he is constantly doing things he knows he is not allowed to do, he has shoved so much stuff into the vcr this week, it might never work again.

i do think he is teething, and also having some food allergy issues, but man, his temperment is so bad...

nothing is working..
is anyone else going thru this?
caleb never had terrible twos, jake is only 20 months..

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Logan started the terrible twos at 18 months. He even went through a biting phase. I used time outs, and I had to hold him there. The entire time he'd be on the naughty chair, I was using a soft voice telling him, we do NOT hit. over and over and over until I was blue in the face. I also took his hand in mine, stroked it softly on my cheek and said, "Soft touches." It isn't easy. Kids should come with instruction manuals.

A&A'smommy replied: oh honey I don't know.. maybe he doesn't feel good?? I know alyssa is HORRIBLE when she doesn't feel good. Allergies and or sinuses are our biggest problem right now I hope things get better for you!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Oh I'm definitely there. My ped told me that it doesn't matter what they do in TO (ie; kicking, screaming, etc), it's that they stay that's important. Is he staying put? If not, I would maybe try putting him in room and close the door. Take all his toys out of there. I've been starting to do this with Wil since a TO chair/corner isn't working anymore. Wil escapes and thinks it's funny. My ped also said to just keep putting them in TO. Their little brains forget easily, but if you stay consistent, then they should eventually get it. I know how frustrating it is. Wil is CONSTANTLY hurting his brother and breaking things around the house...But the more angry I get, the worse he gets. Being very firm and not showing too much emotion seems to be helping on our end. Wil wants the reaction from me, so by staying calm and sorta giving the "I'm serious and in control" look is helping some.

Stay strong my friend!! You are not alone.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Tanner never went through the 2's. It's when he hit the 3's stage is when he got crazy. He did go through a minor aggressive stage when he was a toddler (about Jake's age), unfortunately it is common. The only thing that got him to stop was when a kid faught back with him to show him he's not the boss. Unfortunately, with him, that was sometimes the only way to show him it's not ok was to show him how it feels back.

Perhaps a time out in his crib? He is not too young, despite what some professional's may think. I have had many children this age "get it" when they are put in time out. They might wonder the first few times what it is about, after a few more times it starts to sink in. When he is aggressive with a toy, take the toy away and do not allow him to have it back until the next day. Perhaps make a bucket labled "no-no toys" or something and show him that the toys are going in the same bucket whenever he is naughty with them. Remove him from the situation if he is aggressive towards someone else. Show him how to use gentle touches. Practice using gentle touches. Do role playing between him and Caleb. When a situation occurs and he hits, go back to the beginning of the situation and role play what he "should" have done. And like Rae said, STAY CALM. I know it's hard to do, but when they see us really upset, sometimes it's like letting them win because they do things in order to get us to react.

Good luck. It does get better. This is a hard stage.

grapfruit replied: Tie him in the chair!

I am TOTALLY kidding btw! Just trying to make you smile a little.


On a serious note, the best thing I can say is, hopefully his terrible twos will end early too!!

Insanemomof3 replied: Just wanted to give you some Mine started their terrible 2's at like a year old. LOL And I have been told they don't stop until they are 20.

lisar replied: Oh yes the terriable twos. Raygen is in them. And she is driving me nuts. I think I am telling her NO like every 5 minutes now. Lastnight she climed ontop of the kitchen counter and just sat there. I was so mad. And she has figured out that if she dumps the trash can out in the bathroom and turns it over that she can stand on that and climb onto the sink. She is driving me crazy. What happend to my sweet innocent tiny little baby.

moped replied: Jack didn't have the 2's, but 3's - YIKES!!!!!!

He is a good boy, but what a change!

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
I wouldn't do time out in his crib. He may connect the crib to a place for when he is in trouble and not want to sleep in it anymore.

I don't know how any of you feel about SuperNanny, but she says to put them in t/o and tell them why they are there and then no more talking. If they get up immediately put them back and continue to do this until they sit the correct length of time. (1 min for every yr old). Eventually it works. When the t/o is done they are suppose to say sorry.

I make Alyx sit when she's been bad and she understands it even at 16 months.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
There is no evidence for or against this, TBH. It's a "theory", like anything else. Nowhere in my ECE classes in college did it say "it's bad", it just depends on what the parent prefers. To each is own. Some prefer it, some don't.

Tanner's time out spot is on his bed, and never did we have a problem with him not liking to sleep in his bed...or crib for that matter. In fact, I can't think of a single child in all my years of teaching that had this issue.

moped replied:
Yep, when Jack commits a SERIOUS offence it is TO in his room.....no problems!

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
That is what happened to my child. (part of it anyway). For 6 months she slept in my bed because she wouldn't sleep in hers. That's the only reason I said that. It may not happen to him, but every child is different so there's no telling.

I wasn't trying to make it sound like that would happen. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

moped replied: Can I comment on Super Nanny too - too soft....LOL

Sounds like Jennie and are a couple of old fashioned HARD A$$ES with discipline!!!!

moped replied:
You didn't offend at all!!!!!!!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yeah, I'm pretty old fashioned in most areas. I'm a meany.

Cyndi, not offended in the least. I'm sorry your daughter went through that tough period.

boyohboyohboy replied:
jennie can you just come over and "fix" jake.

you guys made me feel so much better, to know that jake isnt going thru this alone..
i was afraid for a while he was going to end up next door to the menandez brothers in jail!

sometimes its tough.

he doesnt sleep in a crib, he never did, he refused.
he sleeps in a twin bed..

i will keep up the time outs, and hope he gets it soon. i am not sure which one of us has the most stamina, but its worth a try.

moped replied:
Also, I am not a parent of more than one yet, but I am going to guess it might get worse for a while after baby - but stand your ground and be consistent - he will learn you are not fooling!!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
If I lived closer I would come over and help you in a heartbeat. Just remember, it IS the age. Just be consistant in your discipline whatever you do. It will sink it. Just have to be more stubborn that him. I know it's hard, but it is worth it in the longrun.

Oh, I wanted to ask you, do you think he could also sense that the baby is coming? Even if he doesn't get it, children can usually sense when a big change is about to happen. I swear it's like a sixth sense to them. That could be another reason for his acting out, for attention perhaps?

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
I get so confused as to who's pregnant, who only has one, and who has more than one.
That was a good point.
Granted there is 7 yrs between mine, but Meg did go through a period that I wanted to kill her, just before and just after Alyx was born. The little green monster reared its ugly head.

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
Yeah, I don't always believe what she says. Sometimes they just need a good a&& kickin. j/k There were times Meg needed spanked instead of time out. Thankfully now a days taking away the game boy and the tv work so much better. A little back ground about me: I am a child of a 20 year Veteran of the Navy. Dad didn't mess around.

boyohboyohboy replied:
you are probably right, he does sense that something is changing, and i am sure my anxiety over this pending section does show....
but so far he has not really shown that he knows he is getting a new brother.

there is the baby stuff all over the house, and we have tried to talk to him about it, but he just ignores us..

but i am sure its some of it.

grapfruit replied:
Well and too, some of that was the crappy baby sitter. You should do a new post telling all about that lovely experience.

Needless to say guys, I'M ready to kill my nieces' old baby sitter...so you can imagine how Cyndi feels...

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I can imagine. Tanner was abused in childcare. It's sad some of the things I have seen happen to other people's children, let alone our own. Some people need to just stay away from children all together.

grapfruit replied:
How horrible, what happened? Is that part of the reason you started your own daycare service?