umm... not sure if i can ask this - going to risk it anyway

huggybugboy wrote: So Im not sure this is allowed in this forum but I will ask it as subtle as possible. How long after having a baby should my "drive" come back? It has been 3 months and I really hate being touched by dh. Its horrible! I feel terrible about it, but it's just gone. And he is sooo sweet. He leaves me little notes everyday and is way more romantic than before the baby. What is wrong with me??

kit_kats_mom replied: if you are nursing, it's pretty normal. I mean really, you are being pawed all day by a little person. It's normal to crave having your body to yourself for awhile.

b&bsmom replied: It is normal to feel that way. I had no drive before I got pg due to medicine I take for addisons disease ( at least that is what I think it is from) and after I had a child and I take care of other children during the day the last thing I wanted was to be touched. You will know when the time is right. It is great your dh is so romantic i wish mine would do that stuff again.

kayla's mama replied: I thought that I was alone. I cringe when DH touches me. I love him to death and find him very attractive. I get so tired of blaming everything on hormones

stanleygirl replied: There are so many reasons that I lost the *drive* after babies, like being exhausted, not having showered (after being spit up and peed on all day lol), hormones, and the ever looming fear that baby will wake up (made worse if the baby sleeps next to you). Just to name a few!!

Wow no wonder some of feel a little less than eager to jump back in bed!

What I have found that worked for us is just talking to dh about all these things, and that made him feel better bc it really had little to do with him, and made me feel safer to get ready in my own time.
(In my case I had really bad pains around my episiomoty area for about a year, so it took a while for me to feel any real drive for *it*, kwim?) HTH

Josie83 replied: Good answers already! have you tried getting into it and seeing how the mood takes you? when Cassie was little I was really tired and not always up for doing it, but did it anyway for my husband and found that once we started it was fine.

Maybe you're unconsciously scared of it hurting and that's what's stopping you too? xx

ian'smommy replied: This isn't encouraging, but Ian is almost 3 and I still stuggle with it... it had even started to cause some problems. He claimed he understood what I was telling him, but I really don't think he did.... I have even started thinking about seeing my doctor... I know that hormones can go all wacky and there's no telling when and if they will go back to normal... And yes, you have a baby touching you all day... It's nice to not be needed sometimes... I guess that can be part of the problem even with a 3 year old when they climb all over you.... I have done what Josie does on occasion, and just do it for him even if it's the last thing I feel like doing. It ends up being ok. It's just a struggle for me to ignore how I am feeling.... Good luck. I hope it gets better for you...

huggybugboy replied:
exactly! I tell him that its probably just hormones from nursing or the pill Im on, but he takes it so personally. I wish he could understand that I want it as much as he does, I just have NO desire right now. Its not that Im tired (although I use that excuse a lot), the baby pretty much sleeps through the night. I had a csection so its not that Im particularly sore, although we've had problems in that area all along anyway. Its just that I dont like it right now! I pretty much try to grin and bear it which sounds awful. Im about ready to go see what the doc suggests.

Insanemomof3 replied: You know, my youngest is almost 2 now, and I STILL feel that way. I thought I was alone too.

Sunflower04 replied: Wow - Women like me. I thought I was the only one. I just would think that my drive was gone because we have been together for so long. I know for me I think it is because I am so tired from working. My DH would go without sleep for it.

amynicole21 replied: Mine has been away for a long, long time. I take antidepressants which doesn't help, plus I've been nursing or pregnant for 3 1/2 years non-stop. Nursing does supress your hormones - mother nature doesn't want you getting preggo when you were still taking care of a newborn. I'm not sure if mine will ever come back without help

mizraim replied:
so how was it? what the doc suggest?

mommyangie replied: I think it was the other way around for us. I was already ready to go by six weeks PP. I couldn't wait to do it again but I was always so tired that I just didn't care to do it. I would talk to the doctor about it when you go back. Have you been back for PP visit yet?

huggybugboy replied:
I havent gone. Im not sure if I should go to my obgyn or another doc. I didnt care much for my obgyn but I dont have a general practicioner.

And its funny. I was sooo wanting it right after I had the baby (I think it was because we hardly ever did it because I had a miserable pregnancy) Then as soon as the doc gave me the "good to go" and rx for the pill the drive went away. way away. AHHH. I hate going to doctors. But I guess I really should.

c0mplexual replied: I lost my sex drive from the time i was about 4 months pregnant until my son was about 8-9 months old. I only REALLY got my drive back just over the last couple of months. I felt sick whenever my son's father would touch me. Ah well..i'm sure it happens to the best of us.

Gotta love hormones lol

lisar replied: I am the complete opposite. I had a c-section 5 days ago and I want it already. I know I cant and it would be gross but I do want it. I want all of his attention all the time. Its weird. I didnt expect to feel this way. Its like I feel in love with him all over again. (but cant do nothing about it yet)

Lisa

mizraim replied:
its just only a bit of sacrifice..its for the both of you though

huggybugboy replied:
I was the exact same way!! and then as soon as the doctor gave me the good to go it was gone.