yesterday evening....

cameragirl21 wrote: so yesterday evening, as i was driving home, i pull up to a red light and off to the side of the road, there is a park bench and sitting on it is this woman who out of the corner of my eye, looked kind of like a gypsy--dark skin, dark eyes, what appeared to be dark hair under this hair covering she had on...so i made the mistake of looking at her because i have always been fascinated by gypsies and as soon as she saw me looking at her, she outstretched her arm and palm...she wanted money.
the thing is, i rarely carry cash, i am the queen of plastic so i had no cash on me and i just looked straight ahead...well...she approached my car and starts talking to me in Spanish and posted a little index card sized sign (that was encased in plastic, as if it were laminated but you could slip the card in and out so it wasn't sealed) that said, in Spanish, that she has kids at home, please give her money, etc...so even though i do speak Spanish, i tell her i don't speak Spanish because what can i do? so she flips the card over and the same stuff is written in English.
now this woman looked WAY too old to have kids, at least ones that are dependent on her but she eerily reminded me of the gypsies i saw running around France, begging for money and i felt really sorry for her...i told her i had no cash, which i didn't but i'll never forget the way she looked at me with her outstretched palm...i seriously think if i had a hundred dollar bill on me i'd have given it to her.
idk, i think i'll never get that visual out of my head, i feel very sad for her, she is way too old to be out begging and should be taken care of somehow. i know it sounds dreamy and unrealistic but i am sad that old people who don't really speak English have to be out and about begging.
does anyone else ever see people approaching their cars like that and what do you do? i see people with their signs all the time, sure, they're usually fairly young and could likely get a job but this is the first time an old woman knocked on my window begging me for money.
i am really sad about it.

TheOaf66 replied: usually in that situation I say no thank you and keep on my way and don't give in. It might be harsh but I don't give anything to beggers. It isn't that I don't sympathize with their situation I just think more often than not it is a situation that instead of fixing it they take this way out.

HuskerMom replied: We have homeless men that hang out around walmart and mcdonalds. I never give them money. We have a place here that homeless people can go and get meals, a shower and they even try to help them find a job. But a lot of the homeless people by walmart never go there. It seems to me that if they really wanted help they would go there.

jcc64 replied: Unfortunately, I see lots of elderly homeless people, primarily on my way to work in NYC. It always bums me out, and like you, elicits all sorts of guilty and/or unpleasant feelings. Yes, I realize there are soup kitchens, services for the homeless, etc.., but I also don't think for a second that they adequately reach every desperate person in need. Sometimes, a person might not make it to the shelter in time for the night, other times, the person is using, which is often against shelter rules. Sometimes, the shelter is in a part of time the person isn't able to get to, or is begging for change TO get to the shelter. So, do I give to every person I see- no, but depending on certain fluctuating circumstances, I will.
I recently saw an excellent documentary about homeless children- my heart just broke for them. Anyone see Will Smith's most recent movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness"? It's a good example of how easy it is to fall into homelessness, despite the best of intentions, and how hard it is to crawl back out. I highly recommend it.

stella6979 replied: I have never given money to the homeless but I did buy a meal for some homeless guy before. It's sad to see no matter what age, or language they speak, but I agree that most of them probably put themselves in that position.

coasterqueen replied: While I feel sorry for the homeless, as I work downtown and see it daily, the majority of them I do not feel sorry for. I can remember many times my dad would offer homeless jobs, he offered to pick them up wherever he needed to and give them a ride wherever to and their response always was "nope, I'd rather just stand here and get money and not do anything for it". There are more of those types out there than you realize. They just want a hand-out. They don't want to work for it, therefore I don't feel sorry for them. It's that mentality that is wrong with the world today.

Also, what a lot of people don't realize is a lot of homeless are mentally ill and don't want to be helped, those who have been helped numerous times.

It is very sad, though.

stella6979 replied:
I have been wanting to see this movie for the longest time, but I hate going to the theaters. I can't wait for the DVD.

cameragirl21 replied:
i did that too...one time i got off the highway and this guy was sitting there and his cardboard sign said, "just hungry" so of course i blow off whatever i was doing and went to McD's and bought him a supersize meal, complete with a big mac, fries, gigantic coke and mcdonaldland cookies.
then i had to get back on the highway and go south and then exit and go back north to get to the exit where he was sitting. and boy, was i worried he'd left because by the time i found the mcd's, by the time i got all the food, by the time i got back on the highway, by the time i turned around, etc.
i remember worrying that i didn't know what i'd do with the big mac if he wasn't there....(i'm a vegetarian)
but he was there and very happy to get a huge meal from mcd's.
you do have to be careful with the homeless though, that is how Elizabeth Smart got kidnapped...her mother, out with the kids saw the guy who ended up kidnapping her, a homeless man, and gave him some money...then her dad came back and offered him money to reroof their house or something to that effect, so they invited the guy into their home, he saw Elizabeth and then came back and took her.
it's a strange world we live in....

A&A'smommy replied: Well it really depends on the situation we normally NEVER give money to put who ask for it but instead we ask them if they want something to eat or drink and if they do I will give it to them in a heartbeat. BUT one time we gave money to someone he was a retired solider sitting on the side of the road I think his wife kicked him out and he didn't appear to be a druggie or an alcholic (although sometimes things don't appear to be what they are) so we have him like 15bucks(all the cash we had on us). Where I live we have probably 4 or 5 beggers in town one we have asked if he wanted something to eat and he said please give me money and we said no show us where you wanna go and we will get it for you and he walked away (he is a KNOWN druggie) but most of them are druggies so I have a HARD time just giving money.

A&A'smommy replied:
I'm hopping to go see it this weekend its FINALLY playing in my small town!!

gr33n3y3z replied: I see so many of them in Philadelphia and they walk up to you and ask for money I say I dont have any and walk away or ignore them.
Do I feel sorry for them No not at all bc they dont have to live like that.
Everyone has choices and they made the wrong one why should I feel bad for them bc they choose the wrong ones.

Edited to add this

I feel sorry for the ones who have Mental Illness and fell through the cracks

Calimama replied: I used to give money, nothing major just a couple dollars. DH hates it, he's such a worrier.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I have never seen anyone who is homeless approach cars. Only charities will approach cars for money, or homeless people selling newspapers. Matter of fact here in my town I have been noticing some of the homeless with reflective vests on for safety during the day in traffic while squatting or standing on the side of the roads.

It breaks my heart to, to see our elderly begging on the side of the roads. I have in the past purchased water and food for homeless that I befriended but when I went back to give the groceries to them they were no where to be found. I no longer do that, but if I can offer a few dollars I will. Otherwise I send up a prayer about them.

I have never seen the Pursuit of Happyness, we have it on our Netflix queue to be rented, I believe.

stella6979 replied:
Around here, the homeless people will walk right up to your window no matter where you are. I was sitting in line at a drive-thru and was approached by a man wanting money for the "bus". Sorry, as much as I would like to help, I'm not about to unroll my window for some complete stranger.

holley79 replied: I guess sometimes I can be a little harsh. I feel sorry for people also but I can't give in to them. I have offered a bag of groceries one time and the person told me they wanted the money. Sorry.

hopefulmomtobe replied: Living in Atlanta we get faced with that all the time...people will even chase you down while you are trying to go to the grocery store. In my opinion, if they can beg for money and deal with the weather all day long, then they can go get a job doing ANYTHING! McDonalds and places like that higher every day. I dont feel sorry for them, we have so many in Atlanta that it takes over, every street corner, parking lot...it just gets to be too much. Go get a job, you can walk..your not disabled. If you are then they have disability privelages you can get through Social Security to help you get by. I have had it rough and I have gotten by eating the bare minimum and still busted my butt everyday doing what I could. It is survival instinct to do so.

We have this old man (disabled-loss of limbs) that sits in a wheel chair under the over pass before walking into the Braves stadium. He is soo pitiful and it breaks my heart, well it is well known that his family sits him there with a cup to collect money. So, be leary of what is really going on that you dont know about.

I'm not saying you shouldnt give, I am just saying...be leary...things arent always as they may seem.

lovemykiddies replied: Once my younger sister and I saw an elderly man begging in very hot weather (summer in Florida). We bought him an ice cream cone...he was so happy and it made us feel so good! It's a memory I'll always have. I guess I'm a sucker. I figure if they didn't really need it, it's not the end of the world (not that I gave the homeless money very frequently). If they scammed me, oh well...maybe some good came out of it.