you have GOT to be kidding me dude

kit_kats_mom wrote: My DH just emailed me that his dad just called and is driving down from IL. He is in GA and will be here sometime tomorrow. Nothing like giving notice jerk. I have nothing in the fridge but WW food and kids stuff and we are all sick. He's been planning on coming down to stay but he was waiting on a cheap flight. I guess he just decided to drive down. So, I'll be stuck at home with him all day while DH is at work. I believe he's staying for 2-3 weeks.

mom2my2cuties replied: I will pray heavily for your sanity over the next 2-3 weeks

amynicole21 replied: 2-3 weeks?!!! Why on earth is he staying so long???

gr33n3y3z replied: sorry hun

kimberley replied: sorry hon. sending lots of ~~~strength~~~ your way.

kit_kats_mom replied:
Isn't it obvious? He is a sadistic creep who must be getting his kicks from seeing how far he can push me before I go postal. I'm having a hard enough time with the girls lately....and work....and the house....last thing I need is an extra mouth to feed, person to pick up after, and someone to entertain. The worst part is, he's one of those "old fashoned" types who can't make his own food/drinks etc. He waits for you to offer. Wait, that's not the worst thing. I forgot to ask if he's brining anyone. Crap! Last time he brought his GF's 34 y/o son who is a loser/druggie and still lives at home. God knows if he shows up with some random freak I will actually lose it. (Insert Nancy Kerrigan cry here) why? Why? why?

Thanks for the sanity vibes. I'm sure I'll be on here venting since I wont' be able to work anyway.

BTW Amy. If you hear a knock on your door in the middle of the night...it's just me and I've escaped. Bwahahahahahaha

cameragirl21 replied:
ok, i know this seems mean but what if you just...don't offer? at some point staying at your house won't be much fun for him because he'll have to go against his grain and actually ask for something. it's things like that that get unwanted visitors to leave.
also, i don't know, maybe this too is mean but i would say that everyone in the house is cleaning up after themselves because you are in the process of teaching the girls and if he doesn't join in then they'll be confused or something....

kit_kats_mom replied:
ROFL. I wish. I wish I didn't pride myself on being a pretty good hostess and I wish my mother did not ingrain the whole "respect your elders" thing because I *so* would like to do stuff like that. However, in these types of situations (yes, this has happened before ) I tend to show my displeasure in passive agressive ways. For example, I'm not changing my menu for the week. We are having sesame ginger tofu with noodles and broccoli tomorrow. if he doesn't like it he can starve or go get a pizza down the road.

cameragirl21 replied: lol, Cary, you are going to serve an old guy tofu?! i gotta tell you--that would get my dad to leave for sure!
ok, here's the thing--passive/aggressive acts don't work because first of all they just make you madder and chances are no guy will understand what your issue is, if you don't spell it out for them they just don't get it. DH probably has no idea why all of this would upset you anyway, so you should just tell him that next time he wants to invite company over for a few weeks maybe he'd like to clean the house, cook and entertain the company.
Or, better yet, invite your mother over for a few weeks....
As for the good hostess thing, that is so overrated IMO. you were ambushed, you deserve to fight back the way I see it....

kit_kats_mom replied:
Oh no. My DH is probably more sensitive than I am. LOL he is way ticked that his dad is just showing up with less than 24 hours notice. In fact, the subject line of the email he sent to let me know was "Craptastic!"

He doesn't want to make his dad feel bad but he was like "uh, dad. you will be here tomorrow?" he said his dad sounded almost like he was offended. I think the old guy just doesn't get how inconvenient it is for a family to have a long term house guest show up out of nowhere.

Neither of us are suprised by the showing up unannounced part...it's almost expected and a running joke between DH and I. for the last two months,every morning when we wake up, he's like...."Wonder if my dad's going to knock on the door sometime today. you should probably put on a bra just in case" So, we knew it was coming but I guess I'd hoped that it wouldn't actually happen this time. It could be worse. Back in the day, my DH and his wife at the time were getting their drunk on with a bunch of his wifes friends who happened to be lesbians on Thanksgiving at their apartment when the doorbell rang. Dh answered the door and his dad was standing there and he actually said "happy thanksgiving son!". WTF???
I still laugh at that story

ETA: At least it's not my MIL's new husband who I literally HATE. Henry is nice enough, pretty boring and lame, but at least he's friendly and doesn't tell me to beat my kids. I just hate that he doesn't have any freaking sense when it comes to making travel plans. Sure, I'd be happy (ok, not exactly happy but I'd be not upset) with having you visit. Just tell me when so I can put it on my calendar.

A&A'smommy replied: omg you poor thing!!!! I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for you!!!

cameragirl21 replied: oh, sorry, Cary, I didn't mean to imply anything bad about your DH. It's just that he has to have a talk with his dad and just tell him that you can't have anyone showing up announced. I don't even show up at my parents' house unannounced, this is just rude to expect everyone to have no plans of their own. what if you were planning to go on vacation or something?
i don't know, maybe you and DH should take some time during his dad's visit and just explain to him that while you just lovehaving him visit you, in the future he absolutely must call in advance and make some sort of upfront arrangements because it sounds like you both work and you have two young kids and it's just too much stress on your family to have unannounced guests.
maybe tell him right after dinner on night 7 or 8 of tofu meals, he'll probably get the message....

luvmykids replied: 2-3 weeks?!?!?!?! Wow. Best of luck to ya with that one

mckayleesmom replied: Carrie.....You are all in my prayers....

amynicole21 replied: Oh lord - I thought it WAS the old guy who told you to beat the girls! Whew! Imagine that nightmare

PS - you're welcome over here anytime

Boys r us replied: HA! HOLY CRAP!

I'm sorry Cary! I know that you are wayyyyyyy less than thrilled!
May the time pass with lightening quick speed!

CantWait replied: Oh my Hope that you can make the best of it.

kit_kats_mom replied: The upside is that I have not only my sense of humor to keep me sane, but I also have an appointment to discuss my anxiety and possible depression with my doc tomorrow morning. Lets hope he perscribes some fast acting mood enhancers.

MommyToAshley replied: I couldn't imagine someone showing up for 2-3 weeks with no notice. You are handling this much better than I am.

We are here when you need a sanity break!

C&K*s Mommie replied: We are here for a vent/break. Geessh! I could not imagine the stress I would be under if someone was hours away from a 2-3 previously unnannounced stay.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Heh heh... mix in some Baileys with some chocolate milk. Nobody will really smell it much, and the girls will drink some too...theyll get to sleep much quicker.

(I'm so totally joking, if anybody hadn't caught on...well about giving it to the girls, anyways. )

I'd plan a whole crap load of "outings" to museums and other places where he wouldn't be interested in going...leave a loaf of bread on the counter with a package of bologna in the fridge... and LEAVE YOUR HOUSE...take the kids to a restaurant, eat, and leave him to fend for himself... do this a couple of days... he'll leave.

If he doesn't, the nights that you're home, tell him you've had a long exhausting day and that you're sorry but you're not up to making a big dinner, so everyone will just have to eat some bologna sandwiches...

Kaitlin'smom replied: 2-3 weeks.......I just could not do it 1 week guest is enough for me. I guess I could do more if they are self sufficent, like when our friend from CA comes to visite he does not depend on us for anything but a bed, shower, potty, and if willing the keys to the extra car. I just ask he east his Sliders (WHite Castle) outside

I hope you stay sane........good luck girl and if you really want to escape let me know I have room for you

luvbug00 replied: I hope you sanity will stay intact!

coasterqueen replied: How rude! Especially since he didn't ask me and the girls to hitch a ride with him. Sorry, had to make light of it somehow.

I hope his stay goes smooth and FAST.

Crystalina replied: I feel for you honey. I don't even like expected company let alone unexpected family for 2-3 weeks! If he was a responsible person I would tell you to leave him with the kids and go shopping. That is sure to get him to leave sooner and stay away. I wish you much sanity.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am going to have to go with maybe slipping a little Bailey's in his chocolate milk He will leave well rested and isn't that what vacation is for?

2-3 weeks! You are a better person than I am! I could not take 2-3 weeks with lots of notice I hope it flies by!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: OMG! 2-3 weeks?!?!? Why on earth does he need to stay for that long? I know that you were expecting this visit since before the girls and I stayed for the night. 24 hours notice is just wrong. I am going to send you a whole bunch of sanity vibes and expect to see you in about a week when you decide to escape to your Mom's house.

holley79 replied: I would be livid also. I do hope you have a good visit though. I can't stand when people just pop in either. Drives me batty.